in recent stalk incidents these months, the stalkers also in along with fake characters creations, fake labels,  (that i hadnt even in understood in first 2 years of stalk) shout some word like "hang". 

 i think i am stalked by stasi as i repeatedly hundred times said. the psycho stasi tries to destroy enemies with getting role of a malevolent god with creating fake crimes to the targets it select as i also read in internet i observe it happens to me. 

it started5  years ago. i hadnt understood whats happening in first 2 years. i thought a serdar is stalking me. then labels stalking me. turned out i confornt character assasination. as i understood it, i entered to trauma which took up 3 years. now i am no more entering trauma when stalk/slander incident happens.

 i would to forever fight against dishonesty i confront. i would never give up my fight against sociopathy/dishonesty. let it be surely known. and i am happily in a place where stalkers cant deceive the people of wiht slanders. i am in a place where innocence is protected well that people wont take on slanders as fact but investigate to reach out truth always. so i feel quite safe here. cause i did nothing wrong in my life. and observed an organized trying to smear campaign effort with the 2 methods i mentioned in previous blog. but i feel safe here. cause i know innocence is well protected here. 

against the socioparthy, against the dishonesty, i stay strong. strong in undefinable levels:) and i dont let myself anymore enter to trauma when stalk/slander incidents happens like i used to enter. i am a happy person. being happy against dishonesty is a very proud act as i observe. before since i never encountered character assasination named shit to me iin my life before, i before, would entered trauma everytime stalk/slander incident happens in rest 3 years (in first 2 years i hadnt even understood). 

laughing to slander is a very proud act. i am very proud of my progress of trauma i confronted. 

though i am so happy i am in a place where human rights is well highly protected. against slander shit type of acts. against character assasination type of shit type of acts. 

being happy against sociopathy/against dishonesty to destroy me, being happy not entering trauma is something i am super proud of.

do whatever slander the slanderers could do slander. though,  i am in a place where human rights is protected from evil. evil of slander. evil of character assasination.

just last 3 days, i got out of trauma in very severe degrees that i dont enter trauma when slander incidents happens. whilst the psychos tries to do slander, i dont any care/nor enter to trauma. cause i know i am in a place where human rights matters. and that people are very intellgnt that cant be fooled with slander. i mean i guess the slanderers would have super hard time to try to deceive people. as told, they use the 2 methods i mentioned in blog. neverendingly for entire 5 years. in first 2 years i hadnt understood whats happening even.

being an alevi rooted, i could never imagine in my country i would be tried to be character assasinated. i dont know whom is doing this to me from my home country either. people disliking alevi rooteds? or stasi(commies?)) i dont any know whom is doing this shit of character assasination to me.

but i proudly stay happy against dishonesty. against sociopathy.  being happy not entering trauma is ais a very proud act when confronting sociopathy. before i entered trauma because i never confronted character assasinnation in my life to me before. i mean getting immune such type of historical type of humanity crimes has takebn alot time in my confrontation of character assasnittion. i think that is character assasination is a humanity crimes type of crimes. though i get stronger against. and i feel safe here. cause i know human rights are well protected here.  in Germany and in Europe.

so phases of trauma. last phase: getting out of trauma. i  am proudly happy against the character assasination i confront. i am proudly happy. not any in trauma anymore. 

ok these maniacs stalk/slander still. the stasi shouts in slander incidents "hang" word. in recent stalk slander incident the following happent "slander_word! hang!"

why i do call think them they are stasi: since they also did thyis slandering with Y1 name which were a guys name from an anti-commie country. which makes me think these dishoinest people are articulated backed by commies somehow. i dont any know. but i send my mid finger's image to the stalk/slander from here. i mean i care that much. i am totally out of trauma:) and a happy person i am back again:)

its super happy to have got out of trauma:) it feels very nice:) 

fighting with dishonesty/fighting with slander/smear campaign when being in trauma were harder.

i never confronted character assaination in my life so i entered trauma. i mean i dont think any one could go through such character assasination confrontation without entering trauma. i mean its impossible not to enter trauma when confronting targeted smear campagin/sociopathy/stalk/character assasination/lies/those 2 methods of sociopathy acts as i mentioned in previous page(double deception methods i call them, they dont only slander but play it out in street, i mean they try to deceive surrounding as with slander word with asking very ugly requests when you pass around in street trying to deceive surroundings as if you are a person of slander type. i mean double deception methods. not just slander. they just dont onlyt slander. they6 also play the slander in street. i never reply. i long before understood shouting psycho stalker stop stalking me sociopath stop stalking me like words dont stop this psycho's stalk. so i never reply nor look for a very long time when stalk slander incidents happens.) . ok fighting against i dont know what. i dont know whom these people are. but they are maniacs. visibly an organization backed maniacs.

 

but i cant define the niceness of getting out of trauma. i dont any tiny bit care the stalk slander incidents. cause these shits these shit filled headeds dishonest sociopaths, can noit deceive people here whom are knowing what are psychological warfare stuff/smear campaign stuff from 30 years ago due to painful confrontation of such stuff in zerzetsung.  so they cant deceive people here with shit of smear campaign. i feel safe here. 

it feels very happy to get out of trauma:)

it feels very proud to show to sociopaths that they can not steal innocence of guh with sociopathy acts against guh:) and it feels super proud that i get out of trauma:) it feels super proud. all of my strength against dishonest/sociopathy acts. i feel super proud of showing a bunch of sociopoaths that they cant mess with woman with creating smear campaigns about her. and i additionally send my middle finger's image to the sociopath whom shouted today "slander_word! hang!" sentence. what kind of maniacs are these maniacs i wonder. i mean undefinable levels of maniacness detected in stalkers. this is so proud to get out of trauma against dishonesty:)

anyway. it feels amazing to fight against dishonesty now that i am out of trauma:)

my strength comes from my innocence:) and it feels so proud to show the sociopath stalker and helpers that they cant mess with woman with creating smear campaigns to them. and additionally i send my mid finger image from here to the slander/stalk. 

it feels awesome to get out of trauma:)  before if i were 1x strong against stalk/slander/dishonesty fight, now i am 1000x stronger against  fight against dishonest/slander that i confronted:)

i definitely think it looks like zerzetsung. one more reason is because as i told, there they used y1 y2 name alot in 4.5 year ago stalk slander incidents that i would confuse as Y1 is stalking me. or 2 years ago, in workplace's surrounding, a guy with suits shouting "Y1! slander word!".  this is why i tght/thnk they mght be really artcltd by commies.  then today another guy saying "slander word! hang!"  they not just slander, they play out the slander in street to show you as if you are that slander word. they have 2 sided deception mechanisms. first is slandering you from street. second is they play out the slander. like they slander you with some act, they shout that they give you task that act from street, trying to deceive surrounding people as if you are that slander type doiung such acts. or similarly, they shout very ugly requests that would be shouted to that slander type. i mean, they dont only slander, they also play out the slander with very much effort to that. i mean whomever these people are, they had put too much effort to this slandering effort. i mean lots of people powqer and they stalked me every cafe i went and in street everytime i went out to street.  they dont just slander. they do also play out the slander in street. so i called labelled this mechanism i observe as a double deception mechanism. an enriched form of smear campaign. not just slander. a theatral play also gets happens. like shouting as if the stalker gives you tasks of slander word type from street, or like asking very ugly requests (none of i ever reply) . plays out the slander like that. to deceive surrounding people as if you are that slander.  double deception. i call this 2 fold deception mechanism i saw as double deception.  but you know what, i am totally out of trauma of it. i dont any enter trauma when this happens. i dont care. cause i am in a place where people are alert to smear campaign/zerzetsung acts from 30 years ago. i mean i feel safe here. i am pretty sure noone could steal innocence of anyone here with zerzetsuing. since people are alert to such things from 30 years ago. so therefore, i feel safe here. cause in the end, noone could steal innocence of a person with lies, one could try, but can not achieve. specifically not here. because people here confronted such zerzetsung type things 30 years ago so they are pretty well alert to such type of evil stuff. so i feel safe here. cause i know justice is well protected here. since people had gone through that zerzetsung topics before, they are well aware and not prone to errors in those type of stuff. i mean people are neutral here. there is no ethnicity. there is no religions based favoring. there is alertness to smear campaign/zerzetsung stuff(due to 30 years ago topics). so i feel safe here. i think place where zerzetsung happent and hurted victims lifes, is the safest place against zerzetsung. i think i confront zerzetsung due to the stalk's content/context/used names in stalk.

how life feels after post-trauma:) it feels amazing. i just cant believe but i feel as i really got over trauma:) 

it feels amazing!

it felt as i dont know how can i define how horrible trauma were. it is very horrible to have been insi9de trauma. now that i am out, it feels like, i dont know, it feels amazing. 

i mean  in trauma moments, i missed that out of trauma feeling so much. that how other people who are not in trauma, i envied such mood so much whilst in trauma. now i also feel like that people like out of trauma. i also feel like that. getting over trauma feels so amazing. undefineable levels of amazing feeling it is. to heal from trauma.

now the stalk/slander also feels unimportant. before mom always said dont care. but whilst inside trauma i never could manage to think like that. now i also dont care nor even give any slight importance to stalk/slander. it is now an nonimportant disturbance to my life that i dont any care. mom always said that. she said dont care. but in trauma, it felt as i dont know it felt super hurting to confront sociopath acts/zerzetsung type of acts

.

but now, i dont even care the stalk slander incidents. truly its not something i care anymore. i finally reached out the mind state mom always asked me to be in. mom said dont care psycho's stalk. psychos could stalk/slander she said. she said dont care. i would think she is not understanding how horrible it is. i would think how mom would ask me not to care a psycho stalking/slandering me. now that trauma feeling is healed, i am definitely not any even slightest degree caring stalk/slander:) it feels amazing:) to have got out of trauma:) 

 

hmm:) life feels amazing when being out of trauma feeling:) 

 

 

hmm this coder engineer, always felt in trauma last years. its the first 3 days out of trauma days in my life. i dont know what to do in my out of trauma feeling life:)  i think before time passed with just getting lost inside trauma feeling or just coding projects. now that i dont feel inside trauma, i think i could spare more time to myself in the times i got lost in replaying stalk/slander incidents in my mind i learnt its called ptsd like topics. that i would get filled with trauma feeling lying on couch thinking and thinking and thinking traumatic stalk/slander incident happent. now that trauma is healed, now that my safety feeling is restored, what to do in my life:)

 

life wer ehard when my safety feeling were broken due to stalk/slander incidents. now safety feeling is restored. and i feel myself much more stronger than the zerzetsung i confront. i dont even slightl;y care. its a disturbance i dont any care even slightly care now:) i dont even tiny bit care:) i am fully out of trauma.

of course i would continue to be more protective myself. against zerzetsung activities that happent happent for 5 years. but trauma feeling is gone. safety feeling is restored. and it feels amazing:)

 

what to do in my free time now?:) since i before always worked on projects. i think i have also time to spare to myself's other hobbies now. ok i want to continue hackathon also. 

last night i met a neighbour rang my bell. asked am i creating those sounds of very heavy walking . i dont. so i said i dont. i were sleepy and i had weird clothes so i couldnt open the door either and i prety looked very weirdo i think. it would have been nice to chat to neighbour sometimes. looks like a German neighbour since talked German. just i were so sleepy and since ashamed of my clothes, i talked vcery weird.if it were normal time, i think i would talk more normal. i talked very ashamed  under door (due to my clothes my look). it would have been nice to have a neighbour whom i talk chat sometimes. even if i am agoraphobic i would have chance to socialize. gosh i behaved like a weirdo since my hair were so bad. my clothes so i hidden under door (since due to my weirdo clothes) and looked like a weirdo when talking since i were ashamed of the way i looked and i got out of sleep at that moment. anyway.