yep today passed as:

hmm morning and partial afternoon passed with taking care of grandma and her other grandma guest. then we had also my cousins family guest then later I went to city to an computer place to sell my second laptop and vr headset.  then turned out guy there would come 1 hour later. then in tandem i traveled sat there by sea. then i returned back and continued taking care of grandma tasks. then I rested and continued awaiting my mom to come home (since my mom went to Gurun as mentioned before for funeral of a relative (guher aunt's husband has passed away due to heart attack) )  then last hours i been awaiting my mom alike then last hour been chatting my mom. then so today I had not had time to spare to study to ml algos project due to this topics. ( since had task of taking care of grandma since mom went to Gurun (they had left in dawn alike today) )   

I am severely tired so now i would rest now. but wishfully tomorrow i would be able to study alot to project.

hmm this month i would create some income from selling my second laptop + vr headset (since i have payments of 2 laptop installments  left and other such payments) so i had chance to sell my computer. since it were defected of keyboard and some monitor corner, it had went to very cheap. but its obsolete type laptop currently and I need to pay new laptop's 2 remaining installments so then I investigated computer places and found some place which turned out computer place were owned by computer engineer. then yep so thats it. i would also sell my vr headset.

hmm i think i would borrow 300 euros money from mom next month (not january) for laptop's last installment nextmonth. (february) hmm then other months i would ask 100 euros from mom until ml algos creates income from projects. (since i have monthly payments that I am trying to cancel obsolete ones. e.g. i both have spotify and youtube music i would cancel one of them. since i dont have income.  or similarly there are obsolete audible and aws prime account and so which i would try to cancel asap. since hmm i think since until ml algos creates income, i need to lend from my mother. 

hmm so to finish laptop installment and other payments alike, i think this expected 500 income (from selling vr headset and laptop) + 300 euros to be lended money from mom would suffice for january and february costs of laptop installments. but then for other months i think i would succeed to reduce monthly payments to most hmm 45-50 euros and then i would lend money from my mom for that. until ml algos creates income. (to create capital to build particle physics lab etc and monthly costs (e.g. youtube premium or netflix or alike these. )  

normally i also have credit card but thats extra card of my mom and my mom pays it. (since i dont have income) but i dont use it for personal things but use it when shopping for home or for necessary cosmetics (like shampoo or face cream alike)

so i urgently need to cancel 3 audible, 2 amazon prime subscription and 2 amazon prime video, and spotify and so alike.  by then i worked i had forgotten to cancel subscriptions which some of them become obsolete when changing telecom company awhile. since i dont have income now the obsolte subscriptions are quite costly now unlike times when i worked as data engineer. 

i think i had quite alot rest time awhile. after all pain of my dad passing away, i had alot time to not working as data engineer type time. normally before i worked data engineer in day time and in nights and weekends i worked to ml algos before.  this time for last 6 months i do not work to data engineering anymore. but some months i couildnt even study to ml algos a minute due to sadness (since lost my dad ) then but recent 1.5 months i could succeed to resume studying and get over grief period and then continued project. 

so considering everything, this period has been like sabbatical leave. i dont have to attend daily meeting of data engineering meetings anymore. 

its like really weird condition to stay at home and not work to a software engineering job after 18 years of constant working to software engineering. I mean i continue ml algos but i dont have software design meetings to attend e/.g. every 900 am near most days i would have meetings. since i would have multiple projects i attended in data engineering side. so every 900 am there were meetings. sometimes 5 projects in most loaded schedules.  sometimes 1 project alike. I were constant member of a team in last place but also attended projects of shorter time period to implement. so it were usually busy type data engineering alot. 

so nowadays i feel like i am kind of sabbatical leave alike. since i dont have meeting to attend at 900 am. 

although my main project usually meetings were later hour. (maybe 10 or 11 alike before noon)

so it feels like-> it feels like after such verty heavy load studying life then instantly no data engineering life is feels like kind of sabbatical leave :) 

i definitely alot rested during this period.

and i intend not to find a data engineering job either. since i intend to finish ml algos asap. 

hmm so i wish to finish 0.1 version before 10th of February. I been struggling for that milestone either but iterated alot in necessary domain knowldge tasks and also iterated some in data engineering conundrums. hmm so i think its possible to finish 0.1 version in following 40 days alike. then i think for financing february costs (my laptops last instalment) i would borrow 300 euros from my mom on february.

so we are in very important phase of ml algos project. and its very urgent to develop it asap. (to develop asap afterwards in 2025's second quarters' end wishfully invention of warp tech ) and also cloaked robot technology even earlier. 

hmm so wishfully we can start building space cities by third quarter of 2025 i infer. yep. 

i just cant believe. that everything progresses as planned. although somewhat schedule delays.  I mean iteration of proejct. i intiially planned 0.1 version to end at november end. but turns out it would end earliest by january end. although i think i am grateful that i came to this project phase. although with delays. there is definite making glad type iteration/progress in ml algos project studies.

so its that I just cant believe. my dreams of inventing warp tech are not so distant in time :) in 2.d quarter of 2025's end i think , i believe we would surely invent. 

its just so exciting imho. 

but there is alot challenging tasks first. 

0.1 version challenges are alot. 1.0 version challenges are even more.

but thats a challenge i liked. since i am getting proficient in category theoretic abstract maths and similar abstract maths topics. 

hmm so i just dont know how many books i studied to try to design this project. and its unbelievable that 0.1 version would not need alot more studying (other than papers readings) (I had not finished topoi book but tomorrow there is alot time to finish studying. ) 

so unbelievable. i just to even be able to design project, i had to read learn lots of books for last 3 years. 

its a very long term project with alot effort and dedication given to. 

I just remember the project moments e.g. 2 years ago time, where in hannover in a temproary staying place, i struggling with nlp design tasks and studying to linguistics readings. 

3 years ago similarly, some Borel algebra readings//initial abstract algebra studying initialization, its alot of effort so many books I studied to be able to design this project. ( because i dont have maths msc/phd, thereby i have to study to get somewhat proficient in abstract maths and this specific ml project imho require phd/msc level maths knowledge imho ) 

its just that i just even in last 4 months it were like (and couldnt study least 1 or 1.5 months due to grief and sadness of losing my parent to cancer), first finishing tom leinster book, reading partially some QFT books, then finishing half of topoi book, then finishing (except last chapter) Lawvere's set theory for maths book, then last, currently, tomorrow's task to finish topoi book. 

its just i just wish to congratulate myself for my endless dedication to this project to finally be able to come up to this phase. e.g. tomorrow i would dedicatedly learn heyting algebras. which i saw as not hard but straightforward topics. but i think its just a feat of really alot dedication to constantly study to books to be able to design a proejct you know? :)  i mean it requires some alot dedication to build this project whilst having lacked maths msc/phd background. 

nevertheless wishfully there would be no delays, since i think by ending topoi book study tomorrow i would be able to resume 0.1 version coding again and then to finish wishfully it latest 40 days later. 

hmm then i would resume getting phd level proficient in grp thry topics side which wont take the most time since wouldnt study to all chapters of phd book but some specific knowledge i wish to get phd level proficient. and revisiting represntation thry either. then that would enable coding version upgrade from 0.1 to 1.0 version.

then by then we would have the version capable of understanding and thinking theoretical physics type ml system imho. yep 

then i would by then would try to design some innovative quantum computer design to create capital to build particle physics lab. then would invent cloaked robot tech to deploy and defeat despicable ferikoy's mafia trans les's mafia crime syndicate and entire globe extension. (to incapacitate despicable deplorable mafia crime syndicate any./all crime capacity (despicable mafia which attempts despicable crimes with very sociopathic methods whihc their sociopathic incident patterns to attempt crime sociopathically are reported always whenever detected(which of course any incident attempt always fails, not required to state that either))  then also in tandem (since ml could work to many projects at same time) would invent the warp tech to build space cities proiject most very urgently. 

you know self didactive learning is a challenge itself. e.g. studying to tom leinster book and not understanding yoneda's lemma in first reading. 

but overall forget the hardwork/challenges all spared, the result of this project would be very important.

e.g. we would asap build warp technology to build space cities. 

etc. 

we would asap we need to asap build these projects asap.

if  i had not lost my parent, my other challenge would have been trying to invent quantum computer asap to try to invent medicine but we lost him before i could come to project phase of building quantum computer unfortunatley :S  (and contemporary cancer treatment tech couldnt fix his cancer type unfortunately :S (it were stage 4 type lung cancer  and intelligent medicine did not fixed his tumor type unfortunatly either))   (this cancer medicine research project also would continue but not as urgent nor prioty as above two projects which has very high priority timeline to implemtn in strict schedules.) 

so  i of course couldnt study the weeks we lost my dad and least 1 and half month time i coudlnt study to ml algos project. or i think for 2 months i couldnt any study to project. but then i resumed after i some what ssome more got over grief period.

it were absolute shock and very severely sad to lose my parent. 

our days were passing like, we would every week many days take my dad to hospital since he required serum alike or so. then we lost him in 3 weeks or so. after coming from sivas, his condition detoriated. and in 3 weeks we lost him. he had liver surgery to fix some canal there which most possibly had narrowed due to metastasis unfortunately,  we were very hopeful he would survive and rest treatment would keep him with us. but then even if surgery went good, his condition worsened afterwards, then he had multiple orgn failure condition as his liver had issue which impacted lungs alike:S then he had intube condition for 3 weeks then we lost him :S

i were even asap rushing to/planning to invent medicine to save my parent from cancer (to invent some medicine with to be built quantum computer aliek) but unfortunately had not found enough time to realize that. his condition deteoriated and we lost him:S (we thoughyt he would win over stage 4 cancer again alike last time he won over. but this time unfortunately had lost cancer battle :S but he definitely fought to cancer to last moment. and we also.  I were totally very optimistic that he would stay with us and would heal recurrence of cancer, but unfortunatly worst case happent (metastasis to liver) :S and we lost my parent to stage 4 cancer battle :S)

has been 3 months till we lost my parent. i think for 2 months i couldnt any study to ml algos project but last month had started to study to. 

my dream were me and my mom and my dad traveling with a warp capable Star Trek alike space ship in space :) 

we chatted this even  4 months ago :) 

initially they had not believed to my project idea of building such space crafts. but when i explained the technologies/science i wish to build invent,  they somewhat found possibly plausible. 

it would have been awesome! to travel space with me/my mom and my dad :)

part of our family is lost to forever. but also lives in our minds to forever either. but still, wouldnt be same without my dad (my dream of me /my mom and my dad traveling space wiht a star trek spaceships alike space craft :) ) 

so upon to be inventing warp technology by 2025's second quarter's end, we would invent warp capable space cities.

and also would create warp capable space crafts alike :) 

(but wouldnt be same without dad, my dream of traveling space wiht my family. wished my dad were still with us. ) 

yep. so my dreams are like these.  i have two important high priosity project agendas. first -> warp tech invention (and building warp capable space cities and warp capable space craft etc, to protect all people from aliens) in tandem to that-> building cloaking tech to invent cloaked robo detective tech (counter-mafia tech to incapacitate any/all crime capacity of mafia crime syndicates)  yep two most high priority projects to invent/develop asap.

yep.