ok i applied to defense sector in )Turkey (which i really super like alot) but if i dont find chances. i have plans of: to run away from stalk of stalker of sisli,  finding a remote job and living in bali and of course doing multi projects as expected. or Japan, i told if i say i dont like a place due to some topic (maybe  thing were super high rents that made me back off in applying), i would for sure change mind. Japan also seems interesting. but I also missed Turkey alot.

and i stopped being super angry to Berlin and would like to apologize for my bad words on that day. but i wish its understood that my world turned upside down i never felt that much pain for last 5 years. i think i would like to apologize very bad to Berlin for my bad words. but it were such painful time to me.
 I understood that, before going to police i need to have video evidence of stalk.  and its not police's fault to not believe in to bizzare stories unless you have evidence. but it were sure super painful for me. and i reflected my pain to saying bitter words to Beerlin and super sorry to Berlin for that.




I am super sorry for very bitter words. it weremy world turned upside down and i were so hurted. so life experience: never tell bizarre things to people unless you have evidence. but the thing is the stalk i confront is really real. but never ever would go to police without video evidence next time. and great Thanks to Turkish consulate lawyer for helping me and advised me to not to go to police ever without them/theirs help. I missed Turkey super much <3 Turkey is my love <3 I really missed alot. seeing commercials of Turkey whilst waiting in consulate's waiting room, i definitely reconfirmed Turkey is really very beautiful.


After a wave of or blizzard of sorrow of paindue to very hurting experience, of both stalk of seeing how its reacted to when i tell it witthout showing video evidence, it were super hurtfing last days. it hurt so much. i am newly getting back. but i really felt as it were the most one most painful moments of my entire life.
And i cant define how good it felt when Turkey protected washed tears of in such painful situation. Turkey is my love:) wherever i work, I would for sure work for my country.


For to solve the stalk issue:
I priotized things as:
if i could find a defense sector job in Turkey for sure i would agttend.

If not,  i would favor finding a rmoete job. People say that, if you change cities that can also solve stalk issue. Since i saw that going to police is not the way to solve it since i need video evidence, but when stalk happens i scare so much that i dont ever have courage to put up phone and start video evidence taking in outside. i just feel like in birdbox, i just even cant look. its just super hell levels of scary to get stalked by a sociopath stalker:S (started stalking me in sisli, must be a psycho neighbour doing this).

I think i have a fun plan of:
finding a remote coding job:) and living in bali or japan and changing place as long as stalk happens any where. i dont think if i am a remote coder, psycho stalker wouldnt be able to trace me. i would have none links of where i work none place trace to cancel stalk. i would tell none of my distant friends where i work (possibility that friend of my friends are doing this to me? who knows whom is the sociopath behind this sociopathy/stalk thing? ) the sites that helps victims of sociopathy/stalk advises to move change place and have no trace where you live. i would do alike. might move to bali:) if i find a remote job. i applied today:) or might move to another place. maybe Japan.

.




i think friday were the most painful day of my life. i think i added a trauma to trauma stack :P so people never go to police if you have a bizarre stalk story without having video evidence of it.

my mom's presence warms my soul heals it. i feel much powerful/better in dealing with recent hard days. and all above, great thanks to lovely Turkish consulate people<3 yuppp Turkey you are my love, you washed my tears when it were the hardest time of life of me:) <3 yuppp my number one love is Turkey in life<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 I think i can call last friday and till morning from friday to saturday the hardest time of my life.

people dont listen the stalk victim site's advises like go to police. if you dont have video evidence please dont ever go to police. cause horrific sentences you confront. if you can just find a supporting lawyer and handle the stalk evidence or things with lawyer before even going to police and listen to lawyer's experience on that. dont ever listen the online stalk sites' advise of that "go to police".  people never ever go to police unless you recorded the stalk video. otherwise they would tear up your soul as happent to me. i think friday were the hardest day of my life. 

i learnt when and when not to go ask police's help with a hurted so much hurted experience. teared my soul up to tears the behavior i confronted. i think were hardest day of my life.



ok for to fix stalk issue, as i said, i would change my residency and work remote.  and wouldnt share where i work. cause really even my family's one unknown enemy might be doing this to me. so i would make sure noone knows where i stay until this stalk situation is fixed. cause it might be any one behind this. cause a sociopath psycho is doing this. it is visible its from sisli?  ahidden enemy of our family? a psycho neighbour? i would make sure when i go abroad this time i wouldnt have any linkedin data nor wouldnt even say to my mom cause what if the psycho behind this is a person whom my mom talks to?  maybe my mom has a pscyho friend that she doesnt know is a pscyho? I mean, i would really get my trace off from world  as the stalk victim sites suggests us to do.not even family would know where i would live. to save my self from stalk as i saw police doesnt help. all i wanted from them were analyzing the video records of subway to reach the identities of the stalker finally. since that friday in subway stalk happent the stalker passed behind me said stalk sentences and then  defamated in a little bit far away with a very bad curse like thing.  i went police to get their help and they teared my soul apart with asking sanity report before starting investigation since i looked excited person and since my story is bizarre. so i learnt that police wont ever stop this stalk nor ever help me/save me from sociopath stalker's stalk.

so i either need to build a startup and buy a big land thats protected. but whilst doing that i would confront stalk and torture of getting stalked with sociopathy constantly as happens :S
or i might have option of finding a remote job and considering the risk that stalker sociopath might be a family level friend of ours, i would even hide where i live from family. cause the stalker had very weird details of knowledge in stalking me. so i consider the risk that the sociopath is a family friend from sisli? i dont any know. but for to be on safe side, i would find a remote job and go abroad.  maybe a city in Japan maybe in Bali. and would never ever tell anthing nor post annthing about where i live, neither efrom linked in nor from this blog post. I pray to get that remote job:) than destination: Bali:) i can build my startup peacefully whilst i work remote and build my startup with peace without confrointg sociopathy stalker whom wouldnt know any where i live since my place wouldnt be known either by family nor in linkedin. then after, many times after,e when i would build a startup, main center would be in my love, which is Turkey:) my startup's center would be in where my heart is, which is Turkey:)<3 i love you Turkey<3:)



my mom's presence warms my broken soul(that were teared up last friday). i healed. but she also got broken seeing hearing the horrible events that passed the day before. she had farangitis i guess due to sadness. i think mom got ill due to saadness:SSS but if mom were 1x sad, i think i were i felt 10x sad by the way. but now healed. mom's presence warms my soul:) i tried to cancel my mom's visit upon horrible friday but couldnt. sinc ei ddnt wanted her to be sad upon horrific friday things.


anyway:
mom's presence is so healing:) she cut my hair and that even looks very nice to me:)