street stalk/slander happent also this night. but i dont any care.
i understand that my stalker is a lesbian woman whom is i think (unrelated to gender, i like gay people alot, i wish i have lots of gay friends, LGBT friends alot) fixated to me. but as couldnt get reply tries to turn me to a bitch like her, couldnt but then tries to destroy my life with slander. i think i am stalked by a real bitch.
or its a psycho cult that somehow decided to destroy my life since i am atheist? every possiblity i think is possible. cauyse they these people had endless resources. they stalked me in every cafe i went.
so i think a mafia's les bitch got fall in love to me. from some sentences i understand this. since creates various types of man names to me. then couldnt get reply but is a sociopath, tried to turn me to a bitch. couldnt. then stalks with slander now. in this today's stalk, shouted "she were gay". i would be very proud to be a gay if i were any gay. but i am 100% hetero. i think i am stalked by a fixated member of a mafia like people:S
what kind of luck in life is this:S to have a bitch fixated to me and since cant get reply tries to destroy my life. not that this single bitch's stalk its, his guy friends also stalks:S
i cant define how many horrorful things i confronted from these people's stalk. constantly identity theft. that which i understood in end of 2.d year of stalk. for instance if i am fan of an artist or someone, this psycho would learn the name from my public pages, and would constantly shouted from my house's front "someone is ex". i not knowing this man name assignment of this psycho stalker to me, i would get it as, a psycho is in love to me and tryinkg to show someone is my ex. never thought psycho thinks i am his ex, and never thought psycho assigns man names to me.
it were like in cafes, the psycho and her friends would sit in a desk in places i hung around 4.5 years ago. i loved istanbul alot. this psycho made it super unlivable to me. would sit in right next desk. woudl create sentences using man name that i am fan of. i would think wtf. do these people know real that someone. they would say many sentences. i would sit in my desk silently in cafes. i would leave the cafe earlier.
than at home, the psycho would shout from street "someone(man name) is ex". i would think the psycho is trying to show someone is my ex, i would shout back "psycho stop stalking me. he is not my ex. i am fan to him."
not only that guy's name i am fan to, this psycho constantly used many man names in stalk i confront which i perceived as a guy thats from the stalker people set. i would think there is a serdar named stalker. i would think there is a Y name stalker. turned out, in end of 2.d year of stalk, i understood this psycho actually calls Y to me. that which i understood in end of 2.d year of stalk.
the psycho would shout from next building "he is Y". i knew Y is name of the manager i had (who has nothing to do with this stalk) (is that guy whom offered me security job). in street while i went to market that summer, a guy from near vicinity would shout "Y! get horny!". i would think i have a Y named stalker. i would never take it the guy is calling me Y. so that district some set of people tried to turn me to a bitch. and i guess they are all friends of this fixated stalker woman. from next building the people would shout "it is Y! " "it is Z!" (both Y and Z are the 2 names of the security guy whom offered me security job (in crypto like software engineering topics).. then i would shout back psycho stop stalking me. then it got more. it got more. those times i were not living with family in that flat, the psycho would in street in outside cafes would stalk me everywhere and in building would do repeat that "someone is ex!" thing every day at 3am in outside. i were stalked everyday from next building and from a guy in street whom talks with phone at everyday outside at 3am. they would constantly disturb. try to make mentally ill. then that 3 or 4 months i dont know i think 3 months, i said this place this building is not livable due to psycho neighobur's stalk. they would stalk me in every cafe i went. with same repeated acts. that in which i hadnt decrypted by then. i had no idea these people stalk me with names other than my own name. i would endlessly shout from my building psycho stop stalking me. i remember i 2 times entered heart beat upraise like thing. that my heart started beating endlessly that summer. then i said, this place this building is not livable, i decided to move to near to sivas home beside my famil;ys summer house. i went and had very peaceful time. cause in sivas village, the stalker couldnbt ever be able to stalk me. we have a very cute maybe like heidi's home style of summer house in dad's village in sivas. its even woods are crafted from special trees that are very healthy. that my uncle did lots of effort to that cute village home. along with my all uncles. for they devised that home as a summer home to all uncles. but only my dad and my other hasan uncle's family use it. other uncles love to use another house when they like a village holiday. its a house thats built like other village houses in villages. not any modern. anyway coming back to the events i stayed there some months. then i found job in ankara., but i got stalked also there. with this time name of my first love's life in life. i dont know how the stalker got access to my first love's name in my life. would do this. for instance. i a coder going to a restaurant. a group of people would sit in to next desk, and they would shout sentence "somename! sleep!". then somename being my first love in life's surname acutally not name even. but used to use first name. we hadnt dated. then also this stalker used names from guys i dated also. like mert. or timur. i were shouted sentences using mert name. sexually harrassing sentences like "mert should lick" then also woman names. like hande. like olga. i understood this name assignment thing after end of 2 years of being stalked. in cafe i went the stalkers would sit next behind they would shoutedly tell "some man name slept!". they would first shouted sleep in stalking. then in another stalk they would say "some man slept!" i mean their algorithm is first stalking with such horrible word. then slander with such horrinble word. i remember in that 2.d year, i remember the woiman passing beside me shouting "oluk!" "somename slept!". they would do this in first 2 years constantly askiong me shouting me to sleep. that which i wouldnt even perceive since i am not expecting anyone to say sucfh thing to me. being a coder. i mean for me also it were shock. i mean i had never expected such thing in life. cause i am not any bitch nor ever plan to be nor ever been. i mean i had never could predicted a psycho would give me man names and shout me sleep. i mean i never thought that sleep sentence were said to me in this stalk i confront. in end of second year, i started to understand that. i moved to ankara from cute sivas village home. finding a job. then i started living with coliving with another engineer cousin. in vicinity of home there were a meal place. that makes nice salads and meals. she and i also separately liked to eat there since it were very healthy and very cheap and very delicious at the same time. the district i lived were amazing. lots of parks. workplace i worked were very nice(were in bilkent). taught me lots of skills in data science tasks. anyway. in that distract of home (in umitkoy) (its a very cute district that has lots of green parks everywhere lots of gardens, i like umitkoy district alot). (i think it were but in konutkent region of umitkoy. maybe might not be called umitkoy even). i liked to go to that cafe alot (before the time agoraphobia started). i during cafes the stalk restarted. some people would shout "someone is ex! some label" then i would get anxious. then in another stalk incidents. the stalker looked in my face and shouted something wiht olga name. asking something from me with olga name. that were the initial time point i started to ssuspect that olga were the psycho neighbour that sometimes shoiuted olga name in stalk, were actually shouted to me. i thought there is also an olga in the group of people stalking me. i understood in that incident started to decrypt this naming scheme.
the stalker lady would shout baby like words to me. with man names. than i understood the stalker might be a woman. or i still dont know if the stalker were a man and they were their friends. i dont any know. then,some people in that group would shout me very bad curses on how ugly i looked. how ugly ia m. from that cafe. and in after various stalk incidents, i got to understand this naming scheme, that the psycho creates names to me and also tries to depict me as bitch. then its time my agoraphobia started. but being non rich (i had no capital in my life ever. i always spent all my salary i gained every month. i first time ever had any capital this month due to tax return. i never had any capital in my life for since i ddnt know how to spend. being economical my family lacked to teach me. i guess my intellgnce in economy also is very low levels. but i were always living like that. constantly working. and not bveing able to create any capital beside. only in startup creation, i sold my car and used it in funding my startup trial. that hadnt been enough so my family also funded me. thanks to them alot. but my startup initial startup trial failed. since i didnt find my own idea exciting after 1 year of working on it. i left building my startup for since thinking it doesnt excite me for instance like my game engine project. it were an ecommerce project that tried to break barriers of SMBs. with nice recommendation engine. alot of nice tech. but i thought its not the exact project type i would likde to build. for isnce the data center part became boring to me4. building those part's techs. and i lacked to priotize things. so i think i burnt my self in nonpriotized type of tasks context. if mybe i priotized maybe i wouldnt left the startup. also my money finished. so then i returned to usual work life with zero capital setting again:) also with credit card debts coming from nonworking startup life. so in ankara, i worked with very good salaries very high salaries but i wernt any intellgnt in economy topic so i never managed to create any capital to myself. but i think the capital i created from that work place were much important, i learnt how to use modern tools of data sicence. managed to work in data science tasks with data scientists in real data science projects. so i think that capital that i created is very nice. i would be always thankful that ankara workplace for that. for since i learnt scipy and lots of machine learning tools etc. since the machine learning guy left there for msc in outside, i became the part time data sicentist(in coder side) and i think i really did it good. then in that period of course data science team extended. then i returned bacvk to big data stuff. before i worked in micro services stuff. i learnt lots of tech there. glad for that. also in new workplace i also learnt lots of tech stuff different tech architectures here, also glad to here also for this. anyway coming back to this topic, those times, in confronting cafe stalks constantly, i understood what actually i am confronting. that a psycho creates an identity theft like thing to me. assings me names and shouts me things that would be shouted to bitches. they would shout for instance "sleep!" in one stalk incident. then after many instances of stalk incidents, i were truly stalked in every cafe i went. it were like the stalkers are like a cult with alot of resource. cause they could stalked me in every place every cafe i went. either my phone were hacked. or something else. i still thinki this might be a secret cult trying to destroy lives of atheists. or else. or maybe some people that are hired by an enemy of our family maybe. i dont know what i confront. but i see alot of resource invested in stalking me by these psychos. i were stalked in every foot step. everytime i went to a cafe i were stalked. Turkey is secular place. and i dont any for a second would think any one there would try to hurt atheists. i had religious friends there. we never were enemies to each other. i mean i dont think if this thing is a cult, i dont think its turkey rooted. i think it might even be from some severe non secular countries whom dislikes atheists. i dont know. mayeb its not a cult. but i saw an organized group of people tried to destroy my life that an organized group of people stalking me everywhere i went. so either is a cult or something else. it were this stalk i confront were heavily invested. whomever they are.
the psychos even rented a flat under my flat in the ankara home. the psychos would shout psycho things from surrounding of my ankara home. so i defintiely entered a severe form of trauma and ptsd like state. and severe agoraphobia also. the flat i discovered is they used Y name from the below flat using "Y is a genius" sentence from below flat once. i felt everyplace is insecure. i cant define hw horrorful that year and consequent year were. it felt like all my life were turned to a horror movie where the psycho neverendingly tries to destroy my life with socioapthy/psychopathy. and it actually still continues. but i got over truama. i am more powerful with dealing with this horrible thing in life that i confronted, from whomever these people are. that i also not know any.
i had no money to rent any nbew flat. so i stayed there scared. constan tly scared. constantly in trauma feeling. e4ntire thgat year. and those times i had no car. so i whilst going to the bus to go to workplace, had to pass beside the cafe where stalkers stalk me. so it were super scary to me to commute to work. workplace felt safe. home didnt felt safe. route to home didnt felt any safe. i were super scared from the soicopathy things that this identify theft like thing, that the stalker gives me names and stalks me giving me bithc characters in cafe stalk incidents, that felt as the creepiest thing i ever saw in my life.
then i would run in sideways of cafe for not to confront stalk. i would come to home at 9pm or alike since workplace felt safer. and since cafe wouldnt be populated at 9pm but even at 9pm i would run away in sideline of cafe. then walk to home.
than that year, the stalkers left "sleep!" word and they started shouting me "sell!" word in stalk incidents. is something i obvserved when i went to ankara first but i had no idea that man name were told to me or hande named for instance:S. so from "sleep!" shoutings the stalk evolved to "sell!" shoutings. then after some time they started to stalk with "sold!" shoutings. when their such requests failed, they i never became any bitch, that i never turned any bitch for them shouting such things to me, they this time started slander.
some time during mom and dad gave me their old car to me. which were used by another family member. so i had car so at least felt safe in my commute from the psycho's stalk.
then as soon as i could collect any money i rented a home. and i moved to it even if it had no heater mechanism working. it had no hot water no heating either. it were a home with garden. in a site. whcih made me thought it would be scure from street stalk since its a site that is private. it were mid of winter. there were no enough money to buy any enough thing. but i could managed to buy a couch, a study desk. a chair. some home cleansing utinsils. but not else:D then i even if the homehad no heating utinsils, it had nothing., an empty kitchen. but i were planning to make buy thigns in time. bgut i loved the living room. it had fireplace. i bought woods from the shop. that were even limited in count. i did this thing. in that month, i could still live in the other home. and also live in the home i rented. i moved to home i rented. but not my clothes. in nights i stayed in home i rented. that had no heating even if everywhere is snow. i like snow it doesnt hurt:) then in morning i would go to home first. take a shower or else then go to work. then in night i would instead of going to home that street stalk also happent (the first home i moved to in ankara), i would coime stay in home i rented. i would burn the woods in fireplace. but it were still cold. i would also open a tiny electric heater i bought. but none would be enough to heat enough. i would sleep in front of fire place but even a tinny bit i get farther it were so cold. anyway after 1 week staying like that:D my mom and dad wondered place i lived and wanted to see:) i were plannign to fix heater other month. until next salary time:D then i would livge with fireplace and the electric heater and at least sleep peacefully which felt safer than previous home:)even cold. it were full snow outside:D and cleansing the home wre not easy. there were kitchen were super unclean. i couldnt managed to get cleansing service. since were broke. so clenased my self. that ground floor only. then mom and dad came. and they said they dont find the home i rented any livable. since its in upper floor there were some electic fuses open. they became so angry to me for renting home that looks not nice. actually the home looked super nice to me. anyway. then we this time together searched for a flat with mom and dad. the money spent to renting first flat gone for sure. then with mom and dad, we rented that awesome fabuolous flat at 35th floor:) it were the nicest flat i ever lived in. it had an amazing view. it were in incek. it were all glasses no walls in glasses of living room and had an amazing view that holds nature also. it were just so beautiful place. there were pool/hamam all kind of luxury stuff in the building complex:P that time mom and dad rented me home this time. since i had no money to rent:) they chosen that flat. i accepted seeing the amazing flat:D but since i didnt liked getting money from mom and dad, i this time next months piece by piece paid back them what i took since as an adult i dont like taking mom dad's money to live. then but then i had very tight economy still. even my kitchen shopping were limited. but i felt it more much respoinsibility to pay back to mom and dad since i dont like taking their money for since i am their children doesnt mean they have to support me in my adult age. then those time, still agoraphobic, i were managing a more peaceful life state. since the amazing view. from the living room. were really amazing. so i told myself next time if i could i would again rent a flat in 35th floor when i could:)
then but i were severely agoraphobic. i would even scare of going to shopping places. i would do market shopping very fast. i wre also ptsd little bit. dont know if i have still. then i would report stalk incidentsw to mom. she would say dont care the psychos. jkust dont even for a second care. then she insisted me to go to cafes again to relax again in outside. the only incident i went the stalk happent again. the psycho came shouted a slander and laughed endlessly. (like joker). (no wonder i resemble the stalkers to moriarty or such people. they are really like that).
i remember in one stalk incident, some people wearing suits shouted the slander word with Y name (which is the name of the security officer whom offered me security job). in surrounding of workplace. so thats time i suspected whether NSA's enemies are doing this to me. this erasing of all my life with this way. killing my life since they think i work for NSA. then but i dont think this is what happent. i think the stalkers took Y name somehow maybe its a relative doing this to me. i mean the names they stalked me are names noone else knows. like noone else knows otrher than one relatives that i dated with a timur. timur name were also used in stalking/trying to killing my life like this.
the slander continues. sometimes street stalk happens. like "she were a seller before!" "she were a bitch before!" i confront a severe slander crime from the stalker. and there is no world system that helps me.
i definitely think these people might be a cult. for since they have unbelievable resources in doing this trying to destroy guhu's life operation they do. i were stalked in everytime i went to a cafe.
could readers imagine how painful this all felt? confronting such super ugly slander? being behaved like bitch in stalk incidetnts:S
so but i am still ok. so all people there fighting with various problems, please believe in your self. like i do. we could manage it. against all bad people. we could stand still. non broken. i am still nonbroken. the psycho whom is doing this destroying trying to destroy my life with sociopathy psychopathy and latest thing is slander (last 2 years thing is slander), i am standing still/unbroken.
so anyone there fighting with any kind of problem, please believe in yourself.
and people out there please know that you could not know what a person is fighting against.
now i wish why i shared stallone pictures is visible(with war clothes from a war movie of him). a silent war happent in my life. some people tried to destroy my life so bad with psychopathy sociopathy with heavy investment to stalking me. that stallone like unbroken look(in one old war movie of him) were an analogy to "I AM UNBROKEN!" against all the evil of the psycho sociopath neighbour. against all stalk/slander of the p-sycho neighbour. i am unbroken.
and due to cute mom's talks i dont any care the newest street stalk incidents with slander. i got completely healed of trauma:) its so blessing to have severe trauma and the feeling of healing from it.
if you could any second imagine how painful it were to confront sociopathy and how it hurted, you would understand how painful time it were.
now i am like all other people that have nice lifes that dont live with trauma. i for last 2.5 years were in severe trauma. but all is ok now. i dont want to dramatize this either. cause i mean people all people might had silent wars. some people even fight against cancer. i mean there are lots of wars in personal lives. sometimes its cancer. sometimes something similar. sometimes its a psycho stalker. but some times, life gets hard. but after it has healed, it feels like there is no need to do any dramas about this topic. i mean i dont wouldnt wanted to be pitied behaved nicer only for since i had such horrible life thing happent to me of having such psycho stalker doing psychopathy sociopathy to me. i mean i am now like all other people with no trauma. so people could be any level of rude to me. i mean normal people could behave any rude level to me. i mean you know people sometimes behaves nicer to people whom confronted horrible things. i am not like that. i dont want exceptions of extra good behavior for only because my life were super hard for a period of time. now i am healed. after mom visited and healed my trauma. before i could only lived my life with the kitchen ventilator constantly open. now i healed.
and if i hurted people's heart with bad words awhile due to anger of trauma, sorry for this but having such trauma and anger for since i am all alone figthting it and it sometimes felt unbearable. and when i asked help of some police place and they instead wanted to first send me to a mental hospital for to check my sanity. i said very bad things to police department then. sorry for that. but i guess its understandable how painful this all were. i understood that its not police's wrong. to behave like that. that its standard procedure to all civils. what i wanted from police were i guess like something to be my personal detectives maybe. i thought its my right to ask from police systems. but i understood personal detectives (to get evidence of street stalk icnidents ) are helping in suych cases but not the police. so, i say sorry for my bad words to police all that anger/hurt feeling inside thinking its their responsibility to protect me from street stalk incidents. i guess such sending to mental hospital word were used to not make me go there ask such thing again. that day, stalk happent in subway. i asked them to check find the stalker from video surveillance and told them all stalk incidents. then they looked me with unbelieving eyes and they said, if i go to mental hospital and if the doctor says i am ok, then they would start to investigate. for since what i talk is a bizarre thing. that which rarely happens. me being mentally ill seemed more feasible than the rareness of the stalk type i confront i guess. so i became super angry. said bad things to police department. with all that anger for since noone helps me whilst my life is tried to be destroyed by a psychopath sociopath with these type of acts. i guess in such things, place to go to is secret detectives institutions first, then collecting street stalk/slander incidents evidences then going to police. i understood i actually asked police to be my personal detective. which made them angry? or else i dont know. i asked them to investigate. they said they would investigate only if i prove my sanity beforehand:S it felt super hurting. i dont know anything is less hurting in this horrible life period of last 4.5 years:S nothing were less scary less hurting:Sbut i understood that world police systems works like this. they arent personal detectives i understood that. but personal detectives costs lots of money. something not feasible in current capital level i hold. anyway. i am also over the trauma of street stalk /slander. so i think i dont have to hire any personal detective to record the recurring street stalk incidents. this topic i dont have energy to fight for. like going finding detective. proving the street stalk incident. all this stuff. i had energy to have the stalkers captured by some process when i went to police but they didnt investigated. i cried in bus stop and went directly to police department. then all that later made me more trauma. those times some blogs suggested me to somehow init some police investigation when a sociopath is stalking. i follwed that suggestion. than i read some other posts that police system dont any help when you are stalked by a sociopath and most of the time you would be behaved as if you are crazy but not stalked. that which also happent to me. so i wish i hadnt followed the suggestion of other internet post. but had followed the other one which said police would not investigate such cases most possibly. so onething i learnt, if you go to police you shoudl have the evidence of the crime you confront. i thought they woould check the video surveillance records in whicih the stalker stalked me. i thought it would happen like that. but didnt happent. they hadnt investigated video surveillance records of subway's waiting place. i understand their perspective, if one comes and tells me such bizarre thing, i would also initially think query whether the person is crazy for since bizarre things happens rare. but when there is a psycho sociopath stalker (its either man or woman a psycho neighobur from 4.5 years ago) actually bizarre things happens. but i understood i should instead gone to detectives and capture video evide4nce of street stalk incidents with slander. so that the police would had taken my thing any serious. i understand that. but in the end, this doesnt change that that behavior also felt very hurtful. this thing all this stalk all things felt super hurtful. all everything of it. not just that police's behavior. anyuthing else nothing less hurtful. everything were all things were very hurtful.
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anyway, mom healed all trauma of the street stalk incidentrs. this cutie mom whom sits in the couch listening things or watching netflix. healed all trauma of this with 100s times of talking to me. made me get over trauma of this psychopathy sociopathy i confront. love you so much mom<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
and wanted to state guhu the energetic guhu is back. and is going to create the most awesome game engine of this globe :) i am unbroken after a horrible stalk from a psycho neighbour from 4.5 years ago :)
i would prove to world that people cant break woman like this :)(as my life were tried to be broken by these methods by a psycho sociopath neighbour from 4.5 years ago) all hardness i confront, makes me innerwise more powerful:) with more ambition:) to reach goals i set(goals be as: game engine. and learning science topics i wonder. building science projects. ). e.g. game engine project:) would create the most amazing game engine of this globe, that noone else could had managed to built before:) something proud type of it would be:P the best game engine of world being built by a woman type of thing it would be:P
but i guess if mom wernt here, i might had lost my life for i think if i went to mental hospital, i would lose all my belief in anything. for confronting also that much addon horrible things. i mean if mom wernt here, i guess i wouldnt be healed of trauma. so i understood family means alot. if i were tested by mental hospital, i would stop talking to any human in this world. i would stop living. i would stop working to create projects. i would stop believing any good things happens in life. so my mom's presence stopped police asking me to visit hospital for 3 days to investigate if i am crazy., and if the dr would say i am not crazy, then the stalk incidents would be investigated. then mom were coming on next day. then they said if your mom is here, we dont want that. if that happent, if i confronted that, i would i think i would stop talking to any other human being in earth. would stop doing anything in life. would stop living my life. as a reply to this horrible 4.5 years.
so mom came and police even couldnt did that nefarious act. for since its illegal to do that. i guess its kind of a mechanism of the police to make me not to go to police again since it were second time i went to police. they dont want to be personal detectives. i wish i knew how systems police systems works so that i wouldnt go to police without evdidence of the crime i confront. i went there to ask them to analyze video surveillance records to catch the stalker. turned out i should had been the one coming with evidence there. so lessons learnt. if i confront a crime thats not serious in world's crime seriousness level sheets, i should first go to a private investigator, collect evidence of it, then go to police with evidence. otherelse, it turns out super hurting time frame as i observed.
then i called my cute country's consulate here and they helped instantly. for but they said never go to police without any lawyer from them again:). i am super thankful for my cute country helping me in that hardest moment of my life:)
they saved me from hardest time point in my life(that i didnt any deserved. but i guess things i confdront islike cancer. i mean noone deserves cancer. i mean all this psychopath's stalk/slander and me going to police to catch the stalker then but ending like that, then my country's cute consulate people helping that i am saved from that. i mean i dont say bad things to police for they behaved like that. but i mean all this were very unfortunate incidents. but my country's consulate's hand saving me from this all chaos, drying up my tears at my home that night. i guess i owe alot to my country. i should payback my dues to my country someway. e.g. with game engine project's maybe. i dont know how. somehow someway. i think with game engine project's things i want to do some good things to my country alot. i think i owe my life to my country. because if such bad things happent, i think i would decide to turn stunted to life/people all and would stop talking anyone. would stop living with any purpose. if i confronted such b ehavior. that which my cute country saved me from such thing. so i guess i think i owe my life to my country. i wotn forget that. i dont forget that:) someknowledge i plan to pay back someway someday:) maybe after gameengine:) i dont know how. but somehow:)
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
i with crying talking to my brother told this experience, he also tried to convince that its ok how all people behaved like that in police side is ok for since they dont any know me and since i told them very bizarre thing.
i also dont accuse the police. i think i also thank here for this very nice job opportunity and exciting city. i think all this thing were all unfortunate. it could happent in other countries. its not related to this country again. its all unfrotunate. and i would like to say sorry for since i said very bad things to police here after this things. but i understood thatf i asked police to be my personal detective which doesnt exist in such systems. so i am quite sorry for my bad words here:S this city is a very cute city. its the one i am problematic. but my problems are not rooted from me either. its just a psycho neighbour from 4.5 years ago that creates this unfortunate incidents chain. constant stalk/psychopathy/sociopathy confrontation. anyway.
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overall i understood being stalked by a psycho(might be a woman or man or its a secret cult or i dont know any dont any know whom this psychopaths are) is severely hurting life period:S
confronting sociopathy is the creepiest thing in life:S i thiknk it were even creepier than or near to my cancer or not check to 2cm fibroadenom in my right breast. i think their creepiness levels are similar. but definitely fighting against sociopathy were the hardest time period of my life, but i am unbroken:) (if mom werent here, i woulod definitely got broken i think since she healed trauma. made me got over the trauma:) now i dont care when street stalk incidents with slander happens. i dont know when next time it would happen. i confront severely psychopathic people's stalk and confront very ugly stalk sentences. anyway. all trauma is healed:) )
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i understand that my stalker is a lesbian woman whom is i think (unrelated to gender, i like gay people alot, i wish i have lots of gay friends, LGBT friends alot) fixated to me. but as couldnt get reply tries to turn me to a bitch like her, couldnt but then tries to destroy my life with slander. i think i am stalked by a real bitch.
or its a psycho cult that somehow decided to destroy my life since i am atheist? every possiblity i think is possible. cauyse they these people had endless resources. they stalked me in every cafe i went.
so i think a mafia's les bitch got fall in love to me. from some sentences i understand this. since creates various types of man names to me. then couldnt get reply but is a sociopath, tried to turn me to a bitch. couldnt. then stalks with slander now. in this today's stalk, shouted "she were gay". i would be very proud to be a gay if i were any gay. but i am 100% hetero. i think i am stalked by a fixated member of a mafia like people:S
what kind of luck in life is this:S to have a bitch fixated to me and since cant get reply tries to destroy my life. not that this single bitch's stalk its, his guy friends also stalks:S
i cant define how many horrorful things i confronted from these people's stalk. constantly identity theft. that which i understood in end of 2.d year of stalk. for instance if i am fan of an artist or someone, this psycho would learn the name from my public pages, and would constantly shouted from my house's front "someone is ex". i not knowing this man name assignment of this psycho stalker to me, i would get it as, a psycho is in love to me and tryinkg to show someone is my ex. never thought psycho thinks i am his ex, and never thought psycho assigns man names to me.
it were like in cafes, the psycho and her friends would sit in a desk in places i hung around 4.5 years ago. i loved istanbul alot. this psycho made it super unlivable to me. would sit in right next desk. woudl create sentences using man name that i am fan of. i would think wtf. do these people know real that someone. they would say many sentences. i would sit in my desk silently in cafes. i would leave the cafe earlier.
than at home, the psycho would shout from street "someone(man name) is ex". i would think the psycho is trying to show someone is my ex, i would shout back "psycho stop stalking me. he is not my ex. i am fan to him."
not only that guy's name i am fan to, this psycho constantly used many man names in stalk i confront which i perceived as a guy thats from the stalker people set. i would think there is a serdar named stalker. i would think there is a Y name stalker. turned out, in end of 2.d year of stalk, i understood this psycho actually calls Y to me. that which i understood in end of 2.d year of stalk.
the psycho would shout from next building "he is Y". i knew Y is name of the manager i had (who has nothing to do with this stalk) (is that guy whom offered me security job). in street while i went to market that summer, a guy from near vicinity would shout "Y! get horny!". i would think i have a Y named stalker. i would never take it the guy is calling me Y. so that district some set of people tried to turn me to a bitch. and i guess they are all friends of this fixated stalker woman. from next building the people would shout "it is Y! " "it is Z!" (both Y and Z are the 2 names of the security guy whom offered me security job (in crypto like software engineering topics).. then i would shout back psycho stop stalking me. then it got more. it got more. those times i were not living with family in that flat, the psycho would in street in outside cafes would stalk me everywhere and in building would do repeat that "someone is ex!" thing every day at 3am in outside. i were stalked everyday from next building and from a guy in street whom talks with phone at everyday outside at 3am. they would constantly disturb. try to make mentally ill. then that 3 or 4 months i dont know i think 3 months, i said this place this building is not livable due to psycho neighobur's stalk. they would stalk me in every cafe i went. with same repeated acts. that in which i hadnt decrypted by then. i had no idea these people stalk me with names other than my own name. i would endlessly shout from my building psycho stop stalking me. i remember i 2 times entered heart beat upraise like thing. that my heart started beating endlessly that summer. then i said, this place this building is not livable, i decided to move to near to sivas home beside my famil;ys summer house. i went and had very peaceful time. cause in sivas village, the stalker couldnbt ever be able to stalk me. we have a very cute maybe like heidi's home style of summer house in dad's village in sivas. its even woods are crafted from special trees that are very healthy. that my uncle did lots of effort to that cute village home. along with my all uncles. for they devised that home as a summer home to all uncles. but only my dad and my other hasan uncle's family use it. other uncles love to use another house when they like a village holiday. its a house thats built like other village houses in villages. not any modern. anyway coming back to the events i stayed there some months. then i found job in ankara., but i got stalked also there. with this time name of my first love's life in life. i dont know how the stalker got access to my first love's name in my life. would do this. for instance. i a coder going to a restaurant. a group of people would sit in to next desk, and they would shout sentence "somename! sleep!". then somename being my first love in life's surname acutally not name even. but used to use first name. we hadnt dated. then also this stalker used names from guys i dated also. like mert. or timur. i were shouted sentences using mert name. sexually harrassing sentences like "mert should lick" then also woman names. like hande. like olga. i understood this name assignment thing after end of 2 years of being stalked. in cafe i went the stalkers would sit next behind they would shoutedly tell "some man name slept!". they would first shouted sleep in stalking. then in another stalk they would say "some man slept!" i mean their algorithm is first stalking with such horrible word. then slander with such horrinble word. i remember in that 2.d year, i remember the woiman passing beside me shouting "oluk!" "somename slept!". they would do this in first 2 years constantly askiong me shouting me to sleep. that which i wouldnt even perceive since i am not expecting anyone to say sucfh thing to me. being a coder. i mean for me also it were shock. i mean i had never expected such thing in life. cause i am not any bitch nor ever plan to be nor ever been. i mean i had never could predicted a psycho would give me man names and shout me sleep. i mean i never thought that sleep sentence were said to me in this stalk i confront. in end of second year, i started to understand that. i moved to ankara from cute sivas village home. finding a job. then i started living with coliving with another engineer cousin. in vicinity of home there were a meal place. that makes nice salads and meals. she and i also separately liked to eat there since it were very healthy and very cheap and very delicious at the same time. the district i lived were amazing. lots of parks. workplace i worked were very nice(were in bilkent). taught me lots of skills in data science tasks. anyway. in that distract of home (in umitkoy) (its a very cute district that has lots of green parks everywhere lots of gardens, i like umitkoy district alot). (i think it were but in konutkent region of umitkoy. maybe might not be called umitkoy even). i liked to go to that cafe alot (before the time agoraphobia started). i during cafes the stalk restarted. some people would shout "someone is ex! some label" then i would get anxious. then in another stalk incidents. the stalker looked in my face and shouted something wiht olga name. asking something from me with olga name. that were the initial time point i started to ssuspect that olga were the psycho neighbour that sometimes shoiuted olga name in stalk, were actually shouted to me. i thought there is also an olga in the group of people stalking me. i understood in that incident started to decrypt this naming scheme.
the stalker lady would shout baby like words to me. with man names. than i understood the stalker might be a woman. or i still dont know if the stalker were a man and they were their friends. i dont any know. then,some people in that group would shout me very bad curses on how ugly i looked. how ugly ia m. from that cafe. and in after various stalk incidents, i got to understand this naming scheme, that the psycho creates names to me and also tries to depict me as bitch. then its time my agoraphobia started. but being non rich (i had no capital in my life ever. i always spent all my salary i gained every month. i first time ever had any capital this month due to tax return. i never had any capital in my life for since i ddnt know how to spend. being economical my family lacked to teach me. i guess my intellgnce in economy also is very low levels. but i were always living like that. constantly working. and not bveing able to create any capital beside. only in startup creation, i sold my car and used it in funding my startup trial. that hadnt been enough so my family also funded me. thanks to them alot. but my startup initial startup trial failed. since i didnt find my own idea exciting after 1 year of working on it. i left building my startup for since thinking it doesnt excite me for instance like my game engine project. it were an ecommerce project that tried to break barriers of SMBs. with nice recommendation engine. alot of nice tech. but i thought its not the exact project type i would likde to build. for isnce the data center part became boring to me4. building those part's techs. and i lacked to priotize things. so i think i burnt my self in nonpriotized type of tasks context. if mybe i priotized maybe i wouldnt left the startup. also my money finished. so then i returned to usual work life with zero capital setting again:) also with credit card debts coming from nonworking startup life. so in ankara, i worked with very good salaries very high salaries but i wernt any intellgnt in economy topic so i never managed to create any capital to myself. but i think the capital i created from that work place were much important, i learnt how to use modern tools of data sicence. managed to work in data science tasks with data scientists in real data science projects. so i think that capital that i created is very nice. i would be always thankful that ankara workplace for that. for since i learnt scipy and lots of machine learning tools etc. since the machine learning guy left there for msc in outside, i became the part time data sicentist(in coder side) and i think i really did it good. then in that period of course data science team extended. then i returned bacvk to big data stuff. before i worked in micro services stuff. i learnt lots of tech there. glad for that. also in new workplace i also learnt lots of tech stuff different tech architectures here, also glad to here also for this. anyway coming back to this topic, those times, in confronting cafe stalks constantly, i understood what actually i am confronting. that a psycho creates an identity theft like thing to me. assings me names and shouts me things that would be shouted to bitches. they would shout for instance "sleep!" in one stalk incident. then after many instances of stalk incidents, i were truly stalked in every cafe i went. it were like the stalkers are like a cult with alot of resource. cause they could stalked me in every place every cafe i went. either my phone were hacked. or something else. i still thinki this might be a secret cult trying to destroy lives of atheists. or else. or maybe some people that are hired by an enemy of our family maybe. i dont know what i confront. but i see alot of resource invested in stalking me by these psychos. i were stalked in every foot step. everytime i went to a cafe i were stalked. Turkey is secular place. and i dont any for a second would think any one there would try to hurt atheists. i had religious friends there. we never were enemies to each other. i mean i dont think if this thing is a cult, i dont think its turkey rooted. i think it might even be from some severe non secular countries whom dislikes atheists. i dont know. mayeb its not a cult. but i saw an organized group of people tried to destroy my life that an organized group of people stalking me everywhere i went. so either is a cult or something else. it were this stalk i confront were heavily invested. whomever they are.
the psychos even rented a flat under my flat in the ankara home. the psychos would shout psycho things from surrounding of my ankara home. so i defintiely entered a severe form of trauma and ptsd like state. and severe agoraphobia also. the flat i discovered is they used Y name from the below flat using "Y is a genius" sentence from below flat once. i felt everyplace is insecure. i cant define hw horrorful that year and consequent year were. it felt like all my life were turned to a horror movie where the psycho neverendingly tries to destroy my life with socioapthy/psychopathy. and it actually still continues. but i got over truama. i am more powerful with dealing with this horrible thing in life that i confronted, from whomever these people are. that i also not know any.
i had no money to rent any nbew flat. so i stayed there scared. constan tly scared. constantly in trauma feeling. e4ntire thgat year. and those times i had no car. so i whilst going to the bus to go to workplace, had to pass beside the cafe where stalkers stalk me. so it were super scary to me to commute to work. workplace felt safe. home didnt felt safe. route to home didnt felt any safe. i were super scared from the soicopathy things that this identify theft like thing, that the stalker gives me names and stalks me giving me bithc characters in cafe stalk incidents, that felt as the creepiest thing i ever saw in my life.
then i would run in sideways of cafe for not to confront stalk. i would come to home at 9pm or alike since workplace felt safer. and since cafe wouldnt be populated at 9pm but even at 9pm i would run away in sideline of cafe. then walk to home.
than that year, the stalkers left "sleep!" word and they started shouting me "sell!" word in stalk incidents. is something i obvserved when i went to ankara first but i had no idea that man name were told to me or hande named for instance:S. so from "sleep!" shoutings the stalk evolved to "sell!" shoutings. then after some time they started to stalk with "sold!" shoutings. when their such requests failed, they i never became any bitch, that i never turned any bitch for them shouting such things to me, they this time started slander.
some time during mom and dad gave me their old car to me. which were used by another family member. so i had car so at least felt safe in my commute from the psycho's stalk.
then as soon as i could collect any money i rented a home. and i moved to it even if it had no heater mechanism working. it had no hot water no heating either. it were a home with garden. in a site. whcih made me thought it would be scure from street stalk since its a site that is private. it were mid of winter. there were no enough money to buy any enough thing. but i could managed to buy a couch, a study desk. a chair. some home cleansing utinsils. but not else:D then i even if the homehad no heating utinsils, it had nothing., an empty kitchen. but i were planning to make buy thigns in time. bgut i loved the living room. it had fireplace. i bought woods from the shop. that were even limited in count. i did this thing. in that month, i could still live in the other home. and also live in the home i rented. i moved to home i rented. but not my clothes. in nights i stayed in home i rented. that had no heating even if everywhere is snow. i like snow it doesnt hurt:) then in morning i would go to home first. take a shower or else then go to work. then in night i would instead of going to home that street stalk also happent (the first home i moved to in ankara), i would coime stay in home i rented. i would burn the woods in fireplace. but it were still cold. i would also open a tiny electric heater i bought. but none would be enough to heat enough. i would sleep in front of fire place but even a tinny bit i get farther it were so cold. anyway after 1 week staying like that:D my mom and dad wondered place i lived and wanted to see:) i were plannign to fix heater other month. until next salary time:D then i would livge with fireplace and the electric heater and at least sleep peacefully which felt safer than previous home:)even cold. it were full snow outside:D and cleansing the home wre not easy. there were kitchen were super unclean. i couldnt managed to get cleansing service. since were broke. so clenased my self. that ground floor only. then mom and dad came. and they said they dont find the home i rented any livable. since its in upper floor there were some electic fuses open. they became so angry to me for renting home that looks not nice. actually the home looked super nice to me. anyway. then we this time together searched for a flat with mom and dad. the money spent to renting first flat gone for sure. then with mom and dad, we rented that awesome fabuolous flat at 35th floor:) it were the nicest flat i ever lived in. it had an amazing view. it were in incek. it were all glasses no walls in glasses of living room and had an amazing view that holds nature also. it were just so beautiful place. there were pool/hamam all kind of luxury stuff in the building complex:P that time mom and dad rented me home this time. since i had no money to rent:) they chosen that flat. i accepted seeing the amazing flat:D but since i didnt liked getting money from mom and dad, i this time next months piece by piece paid back them what i took since as an adult i dont like taking mom dad's money to live. then but then i had very tight economy still. even my kitchen shopping were limited. but i felt it more much respoinsibility to pay back to mom and dad since i dont like taking their money for since i am their children doesnt mean they have to support me in my adult age. then those time, still agoraphobic, i were managing a more peaceful life state. since the amazing view. from the living room. were really amazing. so i told myself next time if i could i would again rent a flat in 35th floor when i could:)
then but i were severely agoraphobic. i would even scare of going to shopping places. i would do market shopping very fast. i wre also ptsd little bit. dont know if i have still. then i would report stalk incidentsw to mom. she would say dont care the psychos. jkust dont even for a second care. then she insisted me to go to cafes again to relax again in outside. the only incident i went the stalk happent again. the psycho came shouted a slander and laughed endlessly. (like joker). (no wonder i resemble the stalkers to moriarty or such people. they are really like that).
i remember in one stalk incident, some people wearing suits shouted the slander word with Y name (which is the name of the security officer whom offered me security job). in surrounding of workplace. so thats time i suspected whether NSA's enemies are doing this to me. this erasing of all my life with this way. killing my life since they think i work for NSA. then but i dont think this is what happent. i think the stalkers took Y name somehow maybe its a relative doing this to me. i mean the names they stalked me are names noone else knows. like noone else knows otrher than one relatives that i dated with a timur. timur name were also used in stalking/trying to killing my life like this.
the slander continues. sometimes street stalk happens. like "she were a seller before!" "she were a bitch before!" i confront a severe slander crime from the stalker. and there is no world system that helps me.
i definitely think these people might be a cult. for since they have unbelievable resources in doing this trying to destroy guhu's life operation they do. i were stalked in everytime i went to a cafe.
could readers imagine how painful this all felt? confronting such super ugly slander? being behaved like bitch in stalk incidetnts:S
so but i am still ok. so all people there fighting with various problems, please believe in your self. like i do. we could manage it. against all bad people. we could stand still. non broken. i am still nonbroken. the psycho whom is doing this destroying trying to destroy my life with sociopathy psychopathy and latest thing is slander (last 2 years thing is slander), i am standing still/unbroken.
so anyone there fighting with any kind of problem, please believe in yourself.
and people out there please know that you could not know what a person is fighting against.
now i wish why i shared stallone pictures is visible(with war clothes from a war movie of him). a silent war happent in my life. some people tried to destroy my life so bad with psychopathy sociopathy with heavy investment to stalking me. that stallone like unbroken look(in one old war movie of him) were an analogy to "I AM UNBROKEN!" against all the evil of the psycho sociopath neighbour. against all stalk/slander of the p-sycho neighbour. i am unbroken.
and due to cute mom's talks i dont any care the newest street stalk incidents with slander. i got completely healed of trauma:) its so blessing to have severe trauma and the feeling of healing from it.
if you could any second imagine how painful it were to confront sociopathy and how it hurted, you would understand how painful time it were.
now i am like all other people that have nice lifes that dont live with trauma. i for last 2.5 years were in severe trauma. but all is ok now. i dont want to dramatize this either. cause i mean people all people might had silent wars. some people even fight against cancer. i mean there are lots of wars in personal lives. sometimes its cancer. sometimes something similar. sometimes its a psycho stalker. but some times, life gets hard. but after it has healed, it feels like there is no need to do any dramas about this topic. i mean i dont wouldnt wanted to be pitied behaved nicer only for since i had such horrible life thing happent to me of having such psycho stalker doing psychopathy sociopathy to me. i mean i am now like all other people with no trauma. so people could be any level of rude to me. i mean normal people could behave any rude level to me. i mean you know people sometimes behaves nicer to people whom confronted horrible things. i am not like that. i dont want exceptions of extra good behavior for only because my life were super hard for a period of time. now i am healed. after mom visited and healed my trauma. before i could only lived my life with the kitchen ventilator constantly open. now i healed.
and if i hurted people's heart with bad words awhile due to anger of trauma, sorry for this but having such trauma and anger for since i am all alone figthting it and it sometimes felt unbearable. and when i asked help of some police place and they instead wanted to first send me to a mental hospital for to check my sanity. i said very bad things to police department then. sorry for that. but i guess its understandable how painful this all were. i understood that its not police's wrong. to behave like that. that its standard procedure to all civils. what i wanted from police were i guess like something to be my personal detectives maybe. i thought its my right to ask from police systems. but i understood personal detectives (to get evidence of street stalk icnidents ) are helping in suych cases but not the police. so, i say sorry for my bad words to police all that anger/hurt feeling inside thinking its their responsibility to protect me from street stalk incidents. i guess such sending to mental hospital word were used to not make me go there ask such thing again. that day, stalk happent in subway. i asked them to check find the stalker from video surveillance and told them all stalk incidents. then they looked me with unbelieving eyes and they said, if i go to mental hospital and if the doctor says i am ok, then they would start to investigate. for since what i talk is a bizarre thing. that which rarely happens. me being mentally ill seemed more feasible than the rareness of the stalk type i confront i guess. so i became super angry. said bad things to police department. with all that anger for since noone helps me whilst my life is tried to be destroyed by a psychopath sociopath with these type of acts. i guess in such things, place to go to is secret detectives institutions first, then collecting street stalk/slander incidents evidences then going to police. i understood i actually asked police to be my personal detective. which made them angry? or else i dont know. i asked them to investigate. they said they would investigate only if i prove my sanity beforehand:S it felt super hurting. i dont know anything is less hurting in this horrible life period of last 4.5 years:S nothing were less scary less hurting:Sbut i understood that world police systems works like this. they arent personal detectives i understood that. but personal detectives costs lots of money. something not feasible in current capital level i hold. anyway. i am also over the trauma of street stalk /slander. so i think i dont have to hire any personal detective to record the recurring street stalk incidents. this topic i dont have energy to fight for. like going finding detective. proving the street stalk incident. all this stuff. i had energy to have the stalkers captured by some process when i went to police but they didnt investigated. i cried in bus stop and went directly to police department. then all that later made me more trauma. those times some blogs suggested me to somehow init some police investigation when a sociopath is stalking. i follwed that suggestion. than i read some other posts that police system dont any help when you are stalked by a sociopath and most of the time you would be behaved as if you are crazy but not stalked. that which also happent to me. so i wish i hadnt followed the suggestion of other internet post. but had followed the other one which said police would not investigate such cases most possibly. so onething i learnt, if you go to police you shoudl have the evidence of the crime you confront. i thought they woould check the video surveillance records in whicih the stalker stalked me. i thought it would happen like that. but didnt happent. they hadnt investigated video surveillance records of subway's waiting place. i understand their perspective, if one comes and tells me such bizarre thing, i would also initially think query whether the person is crazy for since bizarre things happens rare. but when there is a psycho sociopath stalker (its either man or woman a psycho neighobur from 4.5 years ago) actually bizarre things happens. but i understood i should instead gone to detectives and capture video evide4nce of street stalk incidents with slander. so that the police would had taken my thing any serious. i understand that. but in the end, this doesnt change that that behavior also felt very hurtful. this thing all this stalk all things felt super hurtful. all everything of it. not just that police's behavior. anyuthing else nothing less hurtful. everything were all things were very hurtful.
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anyway, mom healed all trauma of the street stalk incidentrs. this cutie mom whom sits in the couch listening things or watching netflix. healed all trauma of this with 100s times of talking to me. made me get over trauma of this psychopathy sociopathy i confront. love you so much mom<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
and wanted to state guhu the energetic guhu is back. and is going to create the most awesome game engine of this globe :) i am unbroken after a horrible stalk from a psycho neighbour from 4.5 years ago :)
i would prove to world that people cant break woman like this :)(as my life were tried to be broken by these methods by a psycho sociopath neighbour from 4.5 years ago) all hardness i confront, makes me innerwise more powerful:) with more ambition:) to reach goals i set(goals be as: game engine. and learning science topics i wonder. building science projects. ). e.g. game engine project:) would create the most amazing game engine of this globe, that noone else could had managed to built before:) something proud type of it would be:P the best game engine of world being built by a woman type of thing it would be:P
but i guess if mom wernt here, i might had lost my life for i think if i went to mental hospital, i would lose all my belief in anything. for confronting also that much addon horrible things. i mean if mom wernt here, i guess i wouldnt be healed of trauma. so i understood family means alot. if i were tested by mental hospital, i would stop talking to any human in this world. i would stop living. i would stop working to create projects. i would stop believing any good things happens in life. so my mom's presence stopped police asking me to visit hospital for 3 days to investigate if i am crazy., and if the dr would say i am not crazy, then the stalk incidents would be investigated. then mom were coming on next day. then they said if your mom is here, we dont want that. if that happent, if i confronted that, i would i think i would stop talking to any other human being in earth. would stop doing anything in life. would stop living my life. as a reply to this horrible 4.5 years.
so mom came and police even couldnt did that nefarious act. for since its illegal to do that. i guess its kind of a mechanism of the police to make me not to go to police again since it were second time i went to police. they dont want to be personal detectives. i wish i knew how systems police systems works so that i wouldnt go to police without evdidence of the crime i confront. i went there to ask them to analyze video surveillance records to catch the stalker. turned out i should had been the one coming with evidence there. so lessons learnt. if i confront a crime thats not serious in world's crime seriousness level sheets, i should first go to a private investigator, collect evidence of it, then go to police with evidence. otherelse, it turns out super hurting time frame as i observed.
then i called my cute country's consulate here and they helped instantly. for but they said never go to police without any lawyer from them again:). i am super thankful for my cute country helping me in that hardest moment of my life:)
they saved me from hardest time point in my life(that i didnt any deserved. but i guess things i confdront islike cancer. i mean noone deserves cancer. i mean all this psychopath's stalk/slander and me going to police to catch the stalker then but ending like that, then my country's cute consulate people helping that i am saved from that. i mean i dont say bad things to police for they behaved like that. but i mean all this were very unfortunate incidents. but my country's consulate's hand saving me from this all chaos, drying up my tears at my home that night. i guess i owe alot to my country. i should payback my dues to my country someway. e.g. with game engine project's maybe. i dont know how. somehow someway. i think with game engine project's things i want to do some good things to my country alot. i think i owe my life to my country. because if such bad things happent, i think i would decide to turn stunted to life/people all and would stop talking anyone. would stop living with any purpose. if i confronted such b ehavior. that which my cute country saved me from such thing. so i guess i think i owe my life to my country. i wotn forget that. i dont forget that:) someknowledge i plan to pay back someway someday:) maybe after gameengine:) i dont know how. but somehow:)
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
i with crying talking to my brother told this experience, he also tried to convince that its ok how all people behaved like that in police side is ok for since they dont any know me and since i told them very bizarre thing.
i also dont accuse the police. i think i also thank here for this very nice job opportunity and exciting city. i think all this thing were all unfortunate. it could happent in other countries. its not related to this country again. its all unfrotunate. and i would like to say sorry for since i said very bad things to police here after this things. but i understood thatf i asked police to be my personal detective which doesnt exist in such systems. so i am quite sorry for my bad words here:S this city is a very cute city. its the one i am problematic. but my problems are not rooted from me either. its just a psycho neighbour from 4.5 years ago that creates this unfortunate incidents chain. constant stalk/psychopathy/sociopathy confrontation. anyway.
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overall i understood being stalked by a psycho(might be a woman or man or its a secret cult or i dont know any dont any know whom this psychopaths are) is severely hurting life period:S
confronting sociopathy is the creepiest thing in life:S i thiknk it were even creepier than or near to my cancer or not check to 2cm fibroadenom in my right breast. i think their creepiness levels are similar. but definitely fighting against sociopathy were the hardest time period of my life, but i am unbroken:) (if mom werent here, i woulod definitely got broken i think since she healed trauma. made me got over the trauma:) now i dont care when street stalk incidents with slander happens. i dont know when next time it would happen. i confront severely psychopathic people's stalk and confront very ugly stalk sentences. anyway. all trauma is healed:) )
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