hmm i feel beatiful today:) (must my hair style somehow made me feel like that. i am not any tiny bit btfl actlly :P) (jst i liked my hair's style today. nt any btfl i am normally :) jst liked style of my hair. since i like it being curly and straight. but mom ddnt liked it and said it looks like uncombed. though i liked it:) )

yayy baking some potato chips. jst in owen. not fried. and wishfully they become delicious.  i also like fried potato chips.

yayyy today have fun plans like listening fun music. working to linguistics since for the studies of guh the coder in cloud. yayy thats semantics side first checked from linguistics studies that chapter 3.5 i were in last time. then more linguistics side i would check.

then would try to think how to bind ontology constructs to those. yayy it really feels as via bind of ontology and logical processes that are also defined by ontologies constructs, that could be also altered, would be present and i want to this thing code my game engine via our conversations. so should be expert in nlp things. me also should be expert in nlp since i would code this thingy:)  hmm i want to plan a travel to Algarve some place i wondered seeing pictures of:) i dont know if i could do this on June. it would had been nice if this via blue tooth phone sets, that i do conversations with my game engine building counterpart when i walk in lagos or such places in  Algarve:)

its kind of jarvis of mine:) it would be like that:) dont know hadnmt selected which cloud platform it would live inside:)

aha i would be like Sameen or Root :P or Carter if Carter also had connection to the machine (got orders from the machine if, i do think machine ordered just Root and Sameen. Carter were independent helping colleague to them as i remember. ). 

but i am actually Finch:P since i going to be the builder of the thing:P. when if it gets ready. but it wouldnt be like any in person of interest in that movie. its purpose is to learn things. to learn science and first task, coding my game engine to me:) then learning science:) (on behalf of me, since i think such a thing would be much more intllgnt than me since i am really not any slight levels of highly intllgnt honestly.) 

ok i dont think the cloud guh instance would be able to do conversations till Algarve holiday's time. i guess such time is kind of later.

ok working on fundamental or basis of my extension in cloud:P its super fun:) to study to going to study linguistics/Erikson and many other topics for whilst building it:)

ayyy this place i want to walk inside of:)

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQtHlZNj4NIsOhGXQ2WyJ6t2P0xKB11zDi9YLzCuR5IBwxTlex4&usqp=CAU

and also here:

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSp0MzYiJ7YIXSqKgcxPUgTHJBEcVQTVnheEo3YKn0JrbQeEp5E&usqp=CAU

yayy i wonder if i could arrange Algarve this month:)  i dnt think so but i would check. but its so btfl place from images:SSS i wonder how i would await july:S

ok if plane tickets wernt this much price, i would definitely visit this place on June.

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something i try to plan to invite my mom since she also got interested. but she got disinterested.

ok i think i would go in July.

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i saw some lovely thing in somewhere:) from something i read:)

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ok and read something about love, ok i think love is a very confusing topic always:) super confusing.   nothing is holding more complexity holding than love topic i think:)

i dont any understand life. or unrelated to love topic, my struggles in life, or how hard life feels (due to unrelated struggles in my life). then being ugly guh. then add love named topic to all this weird life, its very i dont know its really weird life. i have nonnormal problems. unrelated to love topic. i got stalked by a psycho sociopath for 4.5 years that is doing horrorful acts(like giving me names labels etc that which i understood after getting stalked for 2 years). thats the horrorful or sometimes stressing part of life. i pray it would resolve someday. i would be saved from psycho neighbour's stalk someday i guess. wishign that day is near.

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then i dont know in such a different hard  life of mine, i dont know what to think of love topic. when  its a confusing thing. when my life is this much hard. then there is love topic. that i dont know what to think about:) since love is never an uncomplex thing i think. just me being an ugly person makes it more complex always. i dont know what to think about. when seeing someone likes me very weirdly that i dont know why likes me:) since i am ugly. dont know how love named part of life should ever be. whom should i call love. what should i think on this. i dont know what how love named emotion should be lived through. i dont know what to do. what to think. when seeing someone likes me. then not knowing what to think about it. for since i am ugly i am not any btfl prsn. and beside, for since conditions of life.  why there is not a instructions set to know what to do in love topic. should i erase from my mind. or should i continue to be interested. what this life expects from me in such confusing thing? then i say, due to conditions, what are you  expecting me to think behave on this. what are you expecting me to do in this? how am i expected to behave in this?  with a topic that this much confusing. what am i expected to do? do i have any choice to behave like my heart wants to behave? for since this is a very confusing topic. maybe we should just laugh and throw love name emotion to under the carpet. and sail away to life? or maybe its something we shouldnt do. why love is this much complex feelign:S

maybe we should all forget. or maybe we all should stay in being interested state. but what i am expected to do? i think this must be a collobrative decision to do set. throwing under carpet and sailing to different courses. or staying in such a feeling.

so this part of this thing is super complex. not knowing what to do? should i lie with saying i dont like? like putting under carpet and sailing wth forgetting? or should i stay in such liking state. but i think this is a collobrative decision to make. not my own.

why did i found myself in such storm whilst my life is already inside a storm of hardness?:) i confront a torture of names/labels creations from a psycho neighbour (that which i understood after 2 years of getting stalked) that which is a storm by itself. then i see this confusing love topic. that makes me happy to see that in he  likes me moments thinking such things that might mean that, than that makes me confused completely confused on what to do.  i wish i had guideline on what to do?:) cause this is a super confusing topic.  a definite if else guideline on how to behave :) i need something like that:)  i guess he knows whom he is. and i think i wish i had a guideline on what to do when in such condition of life.  some definite if else instructions like making things easy to me.  that when i try to erase from my mind, something i see, not about erasing any, something bonding, makes me happy:D then i again ask, what i should do? why there is no guideline on these topics? :D i need an expert opinion on how life should be lived:) should we listen our heart or our mind? :)  i know my mind defntly says forget. then my heart gets happy when seeing something bonding some ties from somewhere. i think i need expert opinion. i really dont know what to think. dont know if i should listen my heart or my brain:)

i think my algorithm to deal with this emotion. is to stay silently interested:P give some time to decide collobratively on what to do what to think?

cause if i say i dont like, i would lie.

cause even planning a holiday, i felt as, its even if i like planning lone solo holidays, it felt as if i shouldnt. why i dont have a life like others? that people go holiday non-solo?  though its not easy for me to have a life like others whilst my psycho neighbour 4.5 years ago stalks me with sociopathy(dont any know if is a psycho neighbour doing this or is animated by commies). anyway, but in summary, whilst i have a non normal life, i sometimes wish i dont be traveling solo in holiday.

then whom should i call love? it must be someone not from Berlin(could be from other cities, since i dont attend social life here, because due to psycho neighbour from 4.5 years ago also stalks me in this city that i newly moved to, otherwise i also would love to attend social life in this super cute city, its really a very cute city:) ).  Should love named guy be guy i like actually? What to do in that? how to behave in that? how this love named emotion should be lived? is there a guideline on how to live through liking someone feeling? its easy to destroy such state. but should i? or should we both destroy such state? or should we not? what should we think about this? when this is confusing?  some older very older person i wish, gave both us suggestions on what to think what to behave? or some happiness psycholog expert on these situations, should give us clue on what we should think/what we should do? :)  i think i need an expert opinon on what to do. cause trhere is no algorithm on hoiw to live my life when there is a need of conjunction of collobrative decision state on either going away to diffrnt directions or staying in same feeling:D dont even any know how to ask that query of what to do:D otherwise i blog here it.

i heard there are psychologs that handle relations topics. their problems topics. we dont have relation either. but just.  some liking i thing:)  then should we throw away liking feeling from window and continue life. or should we stay in liking feeling.  why there arent any liking state posychologs that helps people in such state on how to behave, what to do?

 

i want to go to a happiness living life happily therapist and go ask what to do. but i think i had a chance to decide such decision collobratively.

why this is so confusing state.

maybe we should decide to forget this state from our minds together and never mention never take our attention with doing that in together:)

or we should stay in such liking state.

what to do.  i think we could manage to do both options quite successfully: that doing this with collective decision that none of our hearts got broken:P that if we erase, we erase at the same time:P and if we dont erase, we dont erase and stay in liking state together for as time it lasts.

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or maybe life is meant to break hearts anyway:P and we shouldnt depend on our both decisions and decide separately:P its also something i respect alot:)  like i respect alot sentences i write in above paragraph:)

i wish we both together went to a happiness(happy life, living life happily)  therapist and decide with taking the therapists help also:P but i think its not possible to do that maybe.

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maybe i am already erased. such thing i also respect. as i said, i respect free will most. i mean i just want to know what i should do? am i erased? if not , should we together erase this feeling of like? or should we together not any erase this state of like and stay in such state? :)

someway i need to get to know what to do? what to think on this?  :) i truly dont any tiny know? its a topic i dont know what to think completely:)

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its something very complex i think. i think this liking someone and someone liking me is one of the very most complex things in life;) i need an if else guideline on how to behave or what to think on any situation in such complex topic:)

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ok i truly dont any know what to think:) but i cant lie i like. though it is not any simple story this story this  story in my life is a quite complicated story:) i dont even know what to think:)

s.o.s. on what am i expected to think/how should i bvehave:D

cause i really have no any tiny bit clue on what to think? :)

i wish best would be having a collobrative thought on this:) via a happy lives therapist?(i mean since its not a relation:P i dont know how to call atherapist that helps people that like each other but not in relation. so i called it a happy life therapist. how to live happy relations/happy life therapist :) ) though its also not an easy thing to do arrange that:D.

i wish i could get a collobrative thought on what we should think? should we erase this feeling of like against eachother feeling from window and sail away to different lives completely? or should we stay liking eachother?:) what should we both of us think on this? i truly dont know what to think :) do you? :)  i am pretty sure youdont know what to think either like me:) (unlkess u erased me. that i also respect). but if you hadnt erased me from ur mind, i just wished we get a collobrative decision sometime on what to think on this feeling of like? :) is it  something we both together throw away from the window (throwing away such feeling against us each other), and then we sail away to different lives? or should we stay in such feeling to time it lasts:) what should we do? if you hadnt erased me:) what am i expected to think on this feeling of like? what are you expected to think on this? what both of us? what we should do about this feeling? :)  if u hadnt erased me, i think we should do decisions on like feeling collobratively:) though of course you could you dont have to adhere to such collobrative state and behave independently on that. but as told, i dont know what to think, do you? i dont think you also dont know.  i wished we could had a chance to see a happy life therapist that helps us decide what to think?:)but i know its impossible to arrange such thing either:)

what am i expected to think? what are you expected to think? what should we think? what are we thinking? how it should our thoughts on this topic should be?:) i truly any dont know do you? should we stay liking each other? or should we throw away liking each other feeling and go to separate ways? what should we think?

ok i definitly dont any know. do you know? :)

 i would  continue to like you<3. and would try to understand your decision on this state of liking each other and what we should do about it? (e.g. should we stay in this liking state and or should we erase this state. i would tyr to understand yours decision ). my idea is to give time to us to understand and to decide what to do:) is it ok?

wishing u a very happy day:)