my stalker tried to sell my ass in stalk incidents. with shoutiong sleep. and shouting slanders and to isolateme with that to isolate me from help with that i guess. i read from serana's text its a common thingsociopath stalkers do. this slander topic.  i many times heard bad people do stalk women to shout them such things with kind of forcing them with some mechanism. i think my stalkers mechanism in that is slander. creates slanders and stalks also like that. for 5 years. constant stalk. constant following. constant slander.

so this is reason i want to get employed in agencies. cause a psycho fixated to turn me to a bitch in other building. and i hadnt even understood that in first 2 years of stalk confrontation. i would think i have a serdar named stalker stalking me. this is why i said i want to fight against bad people. cause i think my stalker is fixated to utilize me for bad reasons. but never could had succeeded either. just stalkedd. but fixated top that and stalks for entire 5 years neverendingly. a definite psychopath sociopath. this is why i ask chances of employment in agencies. to fight against bad people. e.g. terrsts/hackers/ people who terrorise other people's lives with sociopathy/psychopaty like trrsts or psycho whom stalked me. this is why i want such type of job if ever possible. since my life years' peace has been stolen by a psycho stalker from me for 5 years. so i would be honored to work in any agency of any non commie & democratic country if ever i receive such chance. 

though i am over trauma of it. i am a very strong woman. just unfaithful one to have psycho sociopath stalker stalking her.  (a psycho neighbour i think from many years ago. looks like me(same hair color same looks). just 180 version or alike(i only give physical description cause people misudnerstood as if my blog readers are stalking me. no. its not. and i just onluy give physical description to say my stalker looks like me and has none relatedness to blog readers). i think that guy is the stalker. due to some sentences said) (or there are stasi like people whom do torture people with sociopathy/stalk i dont know) i just see my 5 years' peace were stolen from me with stalk/sociopath acts against me. i thought stazi because, they used Y1/Y2 name alot in this stalk/slander torture. in that year it started. they used alot. so made me wonder if they are commies. then but then, they also used guys i dated's names. some woman names. it endlessly happent with creating fake characters creation by stalker and stalk/slander neverendingly for 5 years.  does constantly stalk + slander. i hadnt even understood i am stalked by a psycho in first 2 years of stalk. e.g. would stalk me with timur name. i would think my ex timur is stalking me. turned out, even uses my life's very personal details in stalk topic. i dont know how stalker leartnt whom i dated. or mert name. or some guy i fell in love to very long years ago's name. or guys i am fan of's names. some woman names.  or as told, security job offerer's two names (Y1/Y2). i dont even know whom is stalking me. but that guy it old that looks like me might be quite possible due to sentences he told in 2 stalk incidents.

but i got very stronger. i dont know how i came upn to this out of trauma point. but somehow i came. after today's stalk incident.

i dont know any how, but today i got over trauma fully.  i dont any care stalk/slander incidents truly.

i cant deinfe how painful is when confronting stalk + slander. the psyhcho both stalks. slanders than shouts i am his or her forgivement period. or in one incident, shouted, you shoudl sell your ass to be forgiven for forgivement. i am stalked by such level of sociopath psychopath. stalks, then creates slander then expects the stalk victim to behave according to his or her wishes with saying in forgivement like words. definite psycho sociopath. psycho stalker situation. this topic has none relatedness to any topics of any blog readers. its a psycho whom fixated to make me a bitch. couldnt. but stalks like this for 5 years.  looks like me. 180cm. i think this guyb might be the stalker. has black hair like me under over his ears (long haior but not so long under ears),  very tanned skin like me, actually looks like me. but 180cm version. ) i only write the possible stalkers details to make blog readers understand this topic has none relatedness to any blog readers nor any their topics.

i wish noone ever gets stalked by a psycho. its been very hard 5 years. constant stalk. then slanders. then expects the stalk victim to do things since shouted slander to stalk victim.  the psycho has a logic of, expecting the stalk victim to obey his or her orders with after shouting slanders to the stalk victim. this is one thing i observe happening. its just bad peeople like people i think my stalker is.  i observed a constant stalk/slander repetition and shouting snetences like forgivement, or sell ur ass to forgivement or such ugly sentences by the stalker. first assigns slander/harrasses with slander, then expects the stalk victim to behave to his or her requests since he or she slandered the stalk victim (i am the stalk victim).  does this in a fixated fashion for 5 years. i remember 2 years ago, one main snetence these people said were "obey!" in stalk incidents. a psycho and helprs are stalking me like this for 5 years. constant stalk/slander. repeatedly. and very ugly shoutings. very ugly requests. that i never cared. but at home entered trauma. i mean i never reply, i flee scare so much when stalk incidents happent. i dont even reply. (in  first year, i thought a serdar were stalking me, i would shout back psycho stop stalking me like sentences). but then after, i stopped even saying that. i just dont even reply to the stalker. but when stalk incidents, such ugly request shoutings happens, i scare so much and go away from stalk icnident's place asap. i even hadnt understood i am stalked by such psycho in first 2 years of being stalked. i even didnt understood whats happening. i thought a Y1 is stalking me, a serdar is stalking me, a hande is stalking me. i could never imagine this sociopathic name/character creation shit of the stalker maniac psychopath sociopath. in first 2 years, incidents like this would happen: "Serdar! sleep!". i would think a psycho serdar is stalking me and has such delusional want. constant following happent in every cafe i went first 2 years or 2.5 years. in 2 or 2.5th year i understood that i am stalked bya.sociopath psycho and then turned out agoraphobic.  reason i thought commies were behind this is becausde thesse people used Y1 name alot in stalk incidents. i thought it as a psychological torture from commies. for sometimes. i dont know any. it still happens. i dont know if is just a psycho stlkr situation.  looks as possible as like that. i have none idea whom is stalking me. but if is a psycho stalker situation, i think that guy that looks like me with 180cm height or such heights witg long hair (not that long, in ears level long) might be the stalker.

i dont know how. i got over trauma of stalk/slander incidents today.

i dont know how. but i really got over trauma this time. i thought everytime i got over trauma, later on. i entered again to trauma in another stalk incident.

still agoraphobic little bit (if having a psycho stalker like that, whom wont be agoraphoboc i wonder. i  have a psycho socip[ath stalker issue. i think agoraphobia is even some levels of healthy in such situation).

i dont know how, i truly got over trauma today. i dont care stalk/slander incidents anymore.

surely, if ever i have chance, i would be super interested to work in agencies of non-commie/democratic countries if ever such chances happen. since fighting against bad people (trrsts/hackrs) seems nice intriguing idea. since my life were terrorizd for 5 years by a psycho sociopath stalker (again and again stalker topic has none relatedness to any blog readers any topics). just the idea of fighting against illegl people or bad people (trrsts/hckrs) seems quite interesting intriguing to me. since my life were trrsd by a psycho stalker for 5 years.  i dont know but when you confronted such type of suffering like a psycho stalker, you just get more itnersted to work in security industries.

again and again, my stalker topic has none relat3edness to any blog readers nor any of their any topics. as you see, its definitely unrelated.

but weirdly today after a stalk incident somewhere, i got over teauma of this stalk/slander incidents.

btu as told, if ever any agency out there, ever wants to employ (i dont want any high salary, i just would be honored to fight against bad people(trrsts/hackers)) i would be super interested to work in their IT sectors.

but if noone gets interested, its also ok.

i got over trauma today. this stalk slander wouold never end i understand (i have a psycho sociopath stalker). as serana's texts says,  a sociopath stalker  wont stop. as i see happens. mom always said dont care any. i also dont care anymore the stalk/slander incidents of the psycho sociopath stalker.  again and again, this topic has none relatedness to any of blog readers' topics.

ok abstract algebra learning time.  i am in love to the fact of learning any topic i want easily. i think i am super levels of unfaithful person (read above paragraphs) but only very faithful in to hold such trait:) every topic out there is easy for me. if i invest some time. its just anytopic in world feels as. every concept feels as something that could be figured out easily. and has a process to form it. i even most of the times dont like learning the processes of transformations of those languages/topics either.  (i dont like turning my brain to calculator or a translator) (talking about any science topics).  i only like using my brain as a coder (ideas to code translation :F, none different from those topics mybe)  but many other topics, my brain even does quite laziness in studying. i am lazy to everything that has some transformation chain inside. feels as  a process thats rpeeateble by someother way and that i dont have to either learn it either:)  i mean every concept out there looks to me easily decipherable (i mean learnable) if i spend time and be unlazy.  e.g. when i read abstract algebra, many topics people would read as it should be like that, i just see its just craft of its designer, and it could had been designed different even or its just an inductive formalization set, or bunch of such. tools. i even do laziness in that either. in learnig such tools.  so everytopic out there seems as an adventure, to change them:P  would start with abstract algebra:) expect changes in these areas:)

 or newer versions of those topics:P  or might not be able to craft one:P lets see:) when everything always felt easy to learn, this task also feels like super easy:P i dont know if i am over simplifying. i dont think so. its just a bunch of concepts again and some toolings etc.  i wish i could ever be any specialist so that i also create complex things. i am a learner but most of the time not any creator. ok i wish this project wouldnt pause. like all other projects. that i would atleast create some thing from a side project. ok i had created a silly module from side project's parts like game engine's one part. but all projects paused in middle. i wish this one doesnt happen like that.  first would start with creating new algebras if possible. then comes physics part:) the most interesting part of this project. cause i think physics theories are very interesting. trying to change them would be very interesting:P  i think i am super interesting to physics science.  but that comes after being expert in maths and inventing algebras. further step would be physics. seems as more fun than game coding project:P  actually game engines lots of physical stuff in rendering /computer graphics parts. but i mean not htis theoretical stuff side. goal is to recode existing physics frameworks to different altarnate versions. this is the topic i am super obsessed recent month.had been always intersted to physics. but couldnt spare enough time and lack of laziness yet to necessary backgroubnd studies. until now:)  some part of background study has been accomplished. i figure out, even in game engine study, i wpuold create tasks to learn physics more. :D i mean i think its my secret obsession. physics science. but i am also super lazy. so in years this study to learn background topics dependent topics has newlyb finalizes. not finalized yet. but came up to some point.  i think physics be an obsession long before, as i bouight lots of physics books.  but one needs to be unlazy. but i enlengthened the period to study background topic to many years:)  and lazily studied:P (and there has been trauma last 4 or 5 years. but still progressed background studies) now last step of backgroun studies consists of being a very expert of maths area if ever possible. then also creating new algebras:) and the goal of recoding physics frameworks comes:) dont expect gifted results in that from me:) i am not any gifted person in any area. i am just curious. and little bit obsessed i think:)

70s music(this month is 70s music) + green chalkboard + abstract algebra would be a very fun time! selecting my chalkboard. i couldnt found yet.

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if i had any telepathic power :P in some trauma years, due to some coincidences i wondered such silly topic. they say trauma has such impact in people like teleological thinking. but if i had any telepathic capability, i would had used it to learn whom is stalking me. dnt laugh to me but i remember once trying to do a sculpture with one stalker name on it to check if i could reach out identity of stalker. trauma really has such weird impact. teleologic behaviors. of cours ei have none telepathy or such things are silly and i could never even learn whom is stalking me. but it has none relatedness to blog readers. i think it might be that guy that looks like me but is 180cm.stalk started may years ago in place i lived.  i even in 3rd year of stalk, remembered trynig telepathic detective topic:D trauma's silly impacts. and it ddnt worked out:D i did a sculpture with one stalk incident name tht i confronted in mny stalk incidnts tht i thought is stalking me. this part of life that i believed wondered if real for topics like telepathy is the silliest part of my life. i tried tht detectiving with telepathy thing  in tht,

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how cool it would be to be a spy and my agency making my stalkers confronting legal consequences for doing such form of psychological torture to me:) though i guess every spy agency have more important things to do.  but it would have been cool to be a protected perspn from those psychopaths whomever they are that stalked me/slandered me. 

but note it here, i would be again and again super interested to this occupation:) for since it looks super cool to fight against bad people like terrsts/hackers. 

i dont know but oen woman really gets interested to such occupations after a psycho stalked/slandered her/shouted things like sell ur ass/constqant slander etc for 5 years. since i dont but i heard those instittuions protect their members. further time the stalker would stalk me/slander me,  how cool it had been to be protected and the stalker be interrogated and confrton legal results from the socioipathy and stalk. reason such institutions become super interesting to me, is because protection and figthing against bad people means really important things to me.  how cool it would have been, when 2 or 3 weeks ago, in corner of street, when stalker would had shout me slander, or very ugly request holding sentence, my agency would had responded to stalker. how cool it would have been i cant dream how justice it would have felt. that the lost justice of confronting such ugly form of sociopathy/stalk, and how nice it would have been to be an agent and figure out this organization of people whom stalk me with agency resources :P and have them confront justice systems law systems legal consequences for this sociopathy/psychological torture including sociopathy they qapplied to me.  but i know no agency would hire me. and agencies have no time for such stuff.

can you imagine how cool it would have been this situatuon be:)

think for an instant being a woman. thats been stalked by such sociopath with such psycho shoutings.

now think that i become a spy. and further time stalk slander incident happens i wont scare and would be able to record the stalk/slander incident in street. then my stalkers get caught by law systems. how nice version of my life this would have been:)

i really want to get such jobs if i ever have such chances ever. since would make me non scare from the sociopathj stalker. and further time stlk incident happens, i would be able to non scaredly record stalk incident. without being any protected, i scare of anyn part of those scary stalk incidents. so i flee away when stalk incidents happen. but if i were a spy, i wouldnt scare from the stalker. and instead record stalk incidents. 

how happy my life would have been if my stalker and helpers confront legal consequences for their those very ugly sentences. very harrassing sentences for 5 years. and sociopathy, and stalk and slander. how happy it would be tht the stalker and helpers confronts the legal response for those ugly acts. for trying to destroy my life with sociopathy acts. with stalk/slander acts.

in either way, i am definitely in love to that occupation. thart secret service members occupation.i would be very happy to have chances to work for wherther or not any scuh instituon would ever be intersted to help resolving/learning whom stalked me problem/issue. i dnt any know whom stalked me. i ddnt know any neighbour in other bulding. but i saw that guy with hair on ears level (5 years ago) in various stalk incidents. 

think being a lone woman fighting against such situation in life. or having fought against stalk of and still. this sociopath stalker situation. that shouted me sleep in first 2 years of stalk. or 2.5 years. then switched worser sentences in stalk incdnts. and constantly stalked and slandered.

think a psycho fixates to destroy a woman. me. think creates whatever slander he or she wants to the stalk victim(me). and think stalks like that for 5 years. if you think of how that woman is feeling on this issue, than you started to emphatize with me or understand my want to be a spy:) (if i were a spy, i would record stalk incidents. now being protected by noone, i even scare of doing that i scare everytime stalk slander incidents happent/happens)

so again adn again if ever any agency wants to recruit me, i would be super interested. to have some protection in life. after a psycho stalker tried to destroy my life with stalk and sociopathy. but after feelign all alone, even lacked family's support in the sense, my brother thinks i am not stalked or stalk is not importatn, says dont care the psycho. or my parents, their only advise is dont care the slander. nor stalk. it woudl have been nice to be a protected person. this is why i would have ever wanted to be a spy. to find protection. to feel none alone when confronted confronting stalk of a psychopath stalker that even tried to destroy my life with slander. to feel some security and have courage to record stalk/slander incidents of the psycho stalker. you normal people with normal lives, you dont know maniacs. i am stalked by a maniac. does even slander to destroy me. i wish noone confronts stalk of a maniac ever. but that fight against stalk of a maniac all alone for 5 years. even lacking a full support of family. they trying to say dont care psychos. dont care slander. my family;s all reaction were mainly this. dont care psychos. dont care slander.  think that this expected to be not cared psycho stalked me in every cafe i walked. turned me to an agoraphobic mostly in last 3 years of my life. that stalked me as if had my gps data. now when you would think the implications of this, you would start to understand how much i would ever want to be a spy. to be a protected person. that whom hasnt found any protection in life whilst being stalked by a hardcore level maniac/psycho sociopath.

as told, if any of non-commie/democratic countries' agencies hires me, i would be super interested to be employed. to be a protected person. since i heard agencies protect their members. i think i am quite alone person in life. my mom loves me but cant even she protect me from sociopath stalker.  their attitude is, dont care psychos. there are lots of psychos. dont care they say. i sometimes tend to thnk like them. but sometimes i think life version where i am protected person would have been nicer. and that i also protect other people from maniacs/terrsts/hackers...

as i read some spy topics on quora, i restate, i would be very interested to work in IT sector in such plces. if ever such chances ever happen. i dont think people would be interested since i am a silly. but as told, due to these reasons i mentioned about, i would be super interested to be employed. if such chances ever happen.

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again adn again stalkers are non related to any topic from blog readers worlds. not any relevant any slightest degree. i think the stalekr could be that guy whom looks like me (hair in ear level) that looked like 180cm in stalk incidents. it were many years ago from where i lived i saw thqat guy saying stalk sentences in various stalk incidents. had black hair like me. blunt (in ears level). look very tanned like me. just looked very similar to me but 180cm or such height.

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so this life goes in 2 scopes. one is if ever i have chance. being a member of an agency and working in IT dept of them.  to fght agnst hckrs/trrsts.   (i wouldnt care if they wouldnt care making my stalker confront legal consequences nor not priotize such topic ever.. i think i wont care stalker topic when i start to feel as  a  protected person either. i mean i wld understnd if my stalker issue wont be priotized. but i do think my stalker is a hardcore maniac/sociopath. and some law system needs to make this sociopath confront legal consequences for stalk/slander for 5 years in street stalk incidents. but i wouldnt care that as highest priority. since from then, agencies priorities would matter. or topics that they like to priotize would matter. this option of life feels super interesting option of life. that working in an agency. as told, i liked to listen alot such podcasts. i dont know it feels so charming idea to be a protected member of an institution. this feels a super exciting version of life:D )

)

second version of my life could be, building algebra learner ai (which every such task seems easy type of tasks to me, neither learning physics either or such science area tasks kind of feel easy to me, unlike other topics) and building a safe home like that with capital created  from such prdcts ofsuch things.

would favor first version more than second version. but its ok if dsnt hppn i have second plan as told with building ai topics etc. but surely a life with working in an agency feels exciting. if ever such chances happen. though if dsnt happen, its also ok. have second plan in that case which is algebra things etc.

 i am almost over trauma i think. i think having a sociopath stalker is one very worst thing that could ever happen in life. i am mostly over trauma. but i cant define how much painful all the years it has been to be stalked by a sociopath that stalked me as if holded my GPS data in street/cafes/in routine places i pass around. i dont know if GPS like stalk still happens. i just observed that routine places i pass around or live, some stalk incidents happent. e.g, in bus stop i always entered bus like. or from workplace's street somteims stalk incidents happent. then also, in corner i pass around frequently with bike. happent wth an ugly shouting of ugly request. i mean stalker likes to stalk in frequent places i pass around.  anyway. i am almost over trauma of it. but nonetheless nothing could change how much creepy scary period it has been to have a sociopath stalker. i mean every second of it has been super hard time. i cant even explain the level of suffering i lived through. just having a sociopath stalker (a hardcore maniac sociopath) is one worst things that could ever happent in my life to me.  i cant even find words to describe how horrible how paibnful period it has been, the last 5 years. i think its type of situations that there are no words to describe enough like suffering types. summary, it is really hard period of life. to have a sociopath stalker issue. for 5 years.

(again and again this stalk topic has none related to any blog readers. it started many years ago and not any related to any blog readers nor any their topics).

anyway rest time.

as told, if no such agency wants to hire me, than plan is to as told build new algebras and recode physics frameworks. and then build safe home. and help other people that get stalked also with helping stalk victims organizations or creating such other organizations that helps stalk victims.  and but if any agency gets interested, i would be super interested to work in due to reasons i told.  i would be super interested if ever any such chance happens.

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i am happy i got everyday over trauma more. everyday progress. but i definitely think that, i think sociopath stalkers are more dangerous than even psychopath people i think. and people stalked by sociopath stalkers really go throigh a horrible period in life. (like me, like my life's last 5 years).  has been quite hard life. but everyday i am getting more over trauma of having a sociopath stalker issue. everyday progress happens. everyday getting over more over trauma topic.

again and again this topic has none relatedness to any blog readers any topics. truly. my stalker is not any from any blog readers. my stalker issue has none relatedness to any editors, any ceos  any company managers. my stalker nor any topic related to this issue has none relatedness to any of any blog readers. i sometimes observed people like that  occupations read my blog. wanted restate my stalk problem has none relatedness to them. nor any topic related to stalk. this is a completely irrelvnt personal tragedy that has none relatedness to any blog readers nor any of such people's any topics. a completely irrelvnt topic. cause i seen people liked to misunderstand my blog many times. i wanted to restate, this topic has none relatedness to any blog readers nor any of their topics.  i sometimes saw people read my blog. wanted to restate, this topic has none relatedness. i wish only people whom got stalked would read my blog or agencies like poeple. cause they would only understand since they fight against maniacs like maniac i fougth against of stalk of.

i mean i wish news paper editors, ceos dont read my blog. cause they wont understand. and this topics has none relatedness to them. i sometimes observed i have very itnersting audiences.i wish they dont read. cause this topic has noine relatedness to them. and they wouldnt even be able to understand. anyway. wanted to restate, this topic has none relatedness to any blog readers(i saw  readers like editors, ceos, company managers) i wanted to restate this topic has none relatedness to them nor they would any understand and i wish they dont read my blog either. . cause i seen many times people constantly confuse misudnerstand. it has none relatedness. any of trauma nor such stalker issues has none relatedness to any blog readers. its completely irrlvnt topics. that blog readers wont even be able to understand. anyway. has truly none relatedness. not any slightest degree ever.

my stalker is a psycho neighbour i think from many years ago(that blunt haired guy (under ear level long hair, not very long or i dont know any).  but truly, this topic has none relatedness to any blog readers any topic nor has any relvnce in any slightest degree. so i wish lesser people would read my blog(i mean i wish editors or ceos or company managers stop reading this silly blog) (Cause my blog has none relatedness to.). cause i dont think people would be able to even understand.and these topics has truly none relatedness nor relvnce to those blog readers.  not any slightest degree of relatedness. so they wont even be able to any understand.  i just mean my blog my trauma has none relatedness to any blog reaqders. nor aqny has any type of any relatedness. not any related. not any relevant. anyway.  i saw sometimes ceos or news papers read. i wish they stop reading. since really this blog, this trauma written has none relatedness nor relevance to such people. its not any related nor any relevant topic to them. its just not any related. nor relevant.  has none type of relatedness. nor any relevance. its completly irrlvnt.

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ok a nice day starts!

today i wish to continue workibng on abstract algebra learner ai topics in free time at home later after i come home. and also if ever any chances of being working in agency situations happens ever, i would be as told aqlways super interested to.  it feels as a super interesting life version:)

and then would order my chalkboard to work ont his recoding physics frameworks projects.

i cant believe i got over trauma this much level in last day;s stalk incidnet in outside.  anway as told,  if ever i find any chances of occupation in an agency, i would be super interested to apply to work. it would be a super itneresting life version i think if such chances happen:)

but if none chances happens, as told then plan  is to recode physics frameworks create capital from such project and also helping stalk victim organizations etc.

ok another day this guh is lesser phobic  has started. i am learning to cope with having a sociopath stalker issue day by day after 5 years.

last day for the first time i went outside biking with no headphones. i always scared of any stalk incident confrontation cause street stalk incidents happent with slander. then i started  last day to stop scaring and this is a very important progress i think. i mean stopping scaring from stalk slander incidents. getting over trauma of it. i mean. its a really important progress. and i cant believe it started to happen. that such progress. just getting over trauma topic. i mean i cant belive but really happens. anyway. aynway.

i always have been a phobic person. then having a sociopath stalker whilst being a phobic were kind of silly. i mean i am already inclined to be a phobic and then  having a sociopath stalker unfaith. i mean not a nice combination.  anyway. as told, i got over trauma mostly. and i cant believe to it either. to my progress. it just happent last day. that i stopped scaring from stalk/slander incidents. i dont know how. but i started to get over being phobic to such issue.

ok todays goal is also to have none headphones when i biike outside. i woukdnt force myself if i feel again phobic. but i really feel lesser phobic and feel as i wont care if stalk/slander incidebnt happens in street like happent aha not 3  weeks maybe 6 weeks ago in some ccorner. a slander/ugly request shouting happent in one light crossing in one big avenue like place. anyway.starting from last day, i started to become lesser phobic. and today would also bike without headphones. and feeling lesser agoraphobic either. not scaring of going outside i mean.

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