ok i forbid myself blogging for a long while.

ok i see i am an autism spectrum person that also likes to brag about autism. i think lack of atrophy is really cool.

but i would delete this blog since i bragged:P

but its very cool!:P 

(i definitely love being from autism spectrum) (but i wished i had autism aware parents. i were raised like a non autistic child. which gave me some things but also i wish for instance if i knew i would understand why i cant play basketball in highschoolor couldn't dance make dance movements even i remember stressing to why i cant dance good like friends in 5th year of my life i remember not being able to dance when our school teacher played music to birthday parties we 5/6 years old.. i remember some very early memories from my life like 1st year memories. or 2.d year.   )  (and now i understand why stuff that doesn't stress other people stuff that includes communication stresses me a lot) or when i had also problems in stress levels when communicating. or sometimes even some other stuff. like being stressed when walking in front of a group of people sitting,. or such i don't know. 

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ok i wish to blog not for long period.

 cause i talked too much about myszelf.

you might find me after i build first 210k from bitcoin, you might find me in some holiday. but today i would study till late hour cause i since i thought i saw hatred words some where, my work day parts has gone with all due to that anxiety of resemblance of hatred speech i saw earlier and my overreacting to that resembklence than i being ashamed for my words. 

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i might cease to exist from blogging world for a while. 

i would in meanwhile continue learning quantum mechanics and try to build math stuff to do that approximations cooler. that parts maths to study on free time.

also i would test psychic topics also. i mean remote detectiving like stuff. to try to get to learn whom stalked slandered me for 5 years.

i plan to finish the bitcoin product this weekend and win first 210k. then would ask a lawyer for how much 210ks i could win with that different form of mining. 

also i might try to find jobs in security institutions after i do create that project. since seucirty institutions means being protected from that unknown stalkers slanderers issue. 

ok so that not having have to guess nonce topoiuc, be my cv's most important action item for my future applications to security institutions. 

but before that i would give 1 hyear holiday. and i would try to devise such maths for to handle that quantum. mechanics approximations nicer ways. i adored quantum physics maths. for since its a crazier version of universal rule systems.

but also working in security institutions looks also cool.  so i might after 210ks apply to such places after 1 year of holiday of quantum mechanics pshyics and maths studying time through traveling. 

after first 210k, i would spare durations to learn more maths and those quantum physics studying. since i liked that entanglement stuff so much, its so crazy.  and all maths i seen there. 

so whilst i write i would cease from blogging, let these future plans be here. i wish to become unexistent to blogging world and an unknown person of blogging world. that i wish haters forget hating me for a while :P i don't know how i manage to setup haters. anyway.  i guess i am kind of sheldon like person so i have low communication skills and i am more prone to do communication errors or be misunderstood. 

ok one place i wanted to travel a lot since looks strange. Aral lake like region. my first holiday would be either pathagonia or there. or Bali.  and i wish to get forgotten from blogger world's memories. cause i think due to my stupidity in communication skills (that i lack such skills entirely) i am very prone to be misunderstood. and construct tons of haters unvoluntarily. .  then i don't know maybe pathagonia like places. 

then after one year of holiday and quantum physics maths studying. i would apply to security institutions with the project. but it weren't my idea to od this project. building such thing and applying to security insttns were brothers idea. (. the previous cofounder that we left working together actually deserves to work in security institutions cause his maths is much more stronger than mine and i want him to be happy good a lot. since is my brother.  i think i could benefit family someway as i firsrt build some products yupp. first 210k i build, i would share half of with brother ok). then i would move to build other products then might build money from them. 

i wish internet stops hating me. i have lots of haters in internet. i wish i get forgotten from blogger world. i wish people understand i am not good in communication. i am like sheldon. i am prone to be misunderstood more than other people. 

ok then this weekend first 210k i would build. but tonight i wish to sutyd to work place's work. since hatred speech resembling stuff made me enter temporal trauma and overreact for after my own reaction also made me enter to second trauma since i got ashamed of my reaction (i over reacted and said rude words). 

i wish to forget all these rude conversations or feeling of instant trauma feeling of hatred speech resembling stuff observations mood. i rthink i might confused this time. or not. i don't know. i hadn't read even. then i get entered to trauma second time afterward since i replied severely rude and my own rudeness i got severe ashamed of. second trauma feeling were observing how rude i replied to the possible rudeness i saw and i get so ashamed of that either. 

i wish i forget all these moods in next year. 

ok some Bali. some Patagonia. some Argentina. some Brazil. some Aral lake. yuppp. first i think i wish to goto Aral lake cause looks really cool place since looks like so strange and so inviting.  Pathagonia either. 

then might go to Bali. then Pathagonia. Argentina. Brazil. or other places also. 

ok studying quantum mechanics and maths on Aral lake's locations. cool! first exciting travel plan after wining first 210k:D

i might find myself living in a small sea house in Brazil maybe later. or such places. or mountainside like Pathagonia. i odnt know any. or other places either. could be. according to the country i could find security job in. (i mean software security job). 

i don't want to think anything unhappy next year. 

i want to forget about all unhappiness feelings i felt.  (related to internet stuff. i had some haters in internet . and unhappiness is rooted from that.) 

i want entire year to be happy. 

i had really nice home here in Berlin. i had a very stable workplace and stable life. and all great stuff.,

my sadness here is not correlated any to Berlin. i got unhappy due to sometimes me creating haters in internet due to my communication skills issues i think. or having stalkers slanderers issue which is not related to here, it started 5 years ago and unrelated. ithat stalk slander topic is also completeluy unrelated to internet. internet ddnt knew my existence even when the stalk slander started.  i think i liked Berlin a lot. its a very lovely city truly and my flat is lovely also. i liked everything a lot about my home, my workplace.  i suggest everyone worklife here cause its really amazing. i seen some people left to other cities but returned back. cause really worklife here and normal life and work-life all are amazing. people coming to here usually don't change cities afterwards or came to return to here since here is really good work life balance and good work career opportunities happening andhas a very dynamic tech scene with awesome companies. so i think its really happy place to work. my unhappiness is not related any to here any level. its not any related to here. everyone's life is not same. my life has different problems and my problems are not any related to Berlin.  and it really is an amazing city to live to work. honestly. i seen many people going to other cities and returning back to Berlin. i heard i mean i had friends like that here that did that. 

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but i wish to find some seuciryt jobs in future. and 1 year of traveling holiday. afgter wining first 210k wistfully this weekend.  and i don't know which city i would find security jobs in. any place that offers security jobs i would be happy to apply to:) 

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iun this 1 year holiday i plan, i would learn expertise in quantum mechanics and maths. since iwant to build quantum mechanics products in future also . cause the maths of that area looks so interesting. 

i were bored of ml ai type stuff's maths. but this qm is like, its just like a crazier version of universe rules and i liked that a lot. i would in holiday both be happy rest and study to these maths qm areas more. to get more expertise in them. but also would rest.

i wpould never blog again:P cause i am not good in communication skills. and i manage to create haters due to that which is severely saddening. i wish i forget the sadnesses i felt due to my lack of communication skills rooted problems.  

ok a hut in Bali or a yurt in Aral or a tent in Pathagonia. i don't know where i would be after i build first 210k :D 

then i don't know where i would also find security institution jobs. i don't know if i would be able to find. lets see. lets see where i would be 1 year later. i don't know any from now. i don't know even 2 months later as i build this 210k i think 2 months later i would be somewhere from those 3 places i listed:D looks kind of exciting life. me studying quantum mechanics maths stuff and traveling and resting for a year like that:D looks exciting traveler life. 

let that style of life begin :D and pursue for a year:D

ok what makes happy would be also studying maths i discovered i love maths a lot. i would carry my usual defacto maths knowledge stuff of calculus book beside me everywhere i go.  but topics to be studied are different maths topics but many times i have to go back to calculus. for instance i hadn't studied the 600 pages of book yet and needed to study this time on qm project of wind turbine studies. i guess i would hundreds of times more consult so i would carry that in backpack even if is heavy. 

then i would to forever cease from existing in blogging envs and internet. i would be like long years ago. i would stop blogging right now. on today. 

for stalk slanderers topic i might be able to hire detectives to finally fight back against that tort of being slandered. after first 210k. but i think i might try the fun way of psychic ways to do remote detectiving. with investigating such stuff either. as told, if you know whom those people are please share with me. cause i would sue them as i get to learn whom they are. and i don't know whom they are even. 

it would have been cool to work in a security institution and that stalkers slanderers confronts security institutions protections to its workers when they tried to tort a person with slandering her.

yupp it would be cool i think to work in a security institution.  

(in between i don't even know whom they are that stalk slander me. if i knew whom they are, i would had sued them. if you know please share with me so that i could sue. )

its cool to now start to pursue software security topics like topics i started to like working in security insttns kind of cool /fun as i dreeamt of now. 

but i doint know where it would be. whomever gives me such job. not any specifications i have (any country, unless its a type of country that does human right violations, i would be happy to apply to. ).

its so fun when you don't know 2 months later where you would be.  and also 1 year later i don't know which city i would be working. if i copuld get such job. if i could that's not sure either. ) lets see:D

ok so whilst ending blogging. 

these are plans for future. ok this year its not next year this year its. would learn quantum pshycis maths improvision parts, would mainly study maths to fix that approximations stuff in qm area i target as. and rest and travel for a year beside that.i would build the wind turbine simulator also. and be get to be very very very expert in maths since i figured out i love maths a lot. and i liked the chances of improvising new maths toolings to use in those qm areas. my current curiosity topic area is this. math toolings for to enhance qm chances cause qm is a very lovely and very interesting area. 

this sheldon ends blogging. on right now. 

plans are like this, recent plan starts with winning first 210k on this weekend:P 

then 1 year holiday plus learning qm maths not the qm maths its easy to learn that, i mean maths that would enable easier qm maths i mean learning some grad maths to inmprovise new toolings to qm area like stuff. then afterwards applying to security insttns type of jobs. to have more protection in life since i were tortefd with staklk slander for 5 years and i don't even know whom did that to me. kind of security insttns feels a safe workplace concept to me after undergoing such trauma in life. but i don't know if i would be able to find such jobs. i would in tandem create some millions from qm area also i think. but yet again working in security sector looks cool. 

ok. bye blogging. 1 year travel time this year:P after buidloing first 210k then in travelling i would also rest and also learngrad maths to have new math toolings to qm. ok. liked this plan. would have lots of traveling lots of resting and also sometimes maths studying. 

bye blogging. this sheldon says sorry if made people upset with being misunderstood at times since this sheldon lacks communication skills not any less absence of communication skills than sheldon. 

and very sorry if i made sad/upset anyone reading. and sorry for using rude words when i saw rude words i replied rudely. but also very sorry for that. i ddnt had to reply rude. i am very sorry for replying rude when were said rude words. 

anyway. 

bye. end of my existence in internet. no more blogging in internet. bye internet. 

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lets forget sadnesses i felt in a 1 year holiday:P (afterfirst 210k). 

i might spend months doing nothing maybe then might study maths i don't know how this year would pass. but i am sure i would study maths and sure would also rest/travel. but don't know how i would schedule.  i wont have a static schedule i think. 

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