yayyy i have an important job interview on tomorrow some hour. yay its fb interview. i quite wonder worklife in fb/google like companies so quite interested in the career there.
i might possibly fail in interview process (i am not successful in job interviews topics) but would try my appication chance. since i wonder work life/career in fb/google like companies. and looks really quite interesting job / career.
i honestly have no hope in job application process. i would try my chance but i dont see much hope in succeeding it. cause i have adhd and have issues with studying to coding exams. (i couldnt studied to any exam in my university time and repeated courses constantly due to this, i have really adhd) (its weird topic)
honestly i also like my current workplace, but changing job also looks very exciting, changing city (Berlin is also nice but i like moving to other cities also, this time its London) also. and i also like changing jobs. so i really got happy to the job chance. but i dont have too much hope in succeeding in interview process either. i would try to succeed. lets see.
adhd is like: i can study very specific topics. but repeated stuff like solving coding exercises, i really cant do. i have also issues with solving exercises in textbook studies i study. so i dont have too much hope in getting the job due to my adhdh since those places have coding interviews. and i cant manage to succeed to study to coding interviews. i saw it every time i tried. i
its like when the topic to be studied includes repeated exercise solutions i cant manage to succeed that.
anyway i would try my best to succeed since the job looks interesting. but i am not very hopeful also either in succeeding the interview honestly.
i remember attending once or twice more fb job interviews and failing. so i really dont have much hopes in succeeding this one:D ok lets try my best. but i am not that hopeful i would succeed in interview process:D
i might be confident in maths topics. but definitely not any confident in topics like job interviews. maths topics are easier than job interviews to me:)
i really have issues with the topic of perfecting in some area due to adhd. coding exazms needs perfection of repeated studyign times, but i really have adhd, i couldnt any study to any exam ever in my lfei even for once. maybe at mid school to some exams but other else i really couldnt. it always happens with failure. anyway i would try my best/hope for best result in this interview, but expect to fail again either. cause i really have adhd.
really measure theory, creating new represesntation to numbers are much easier than coding interviews to me. :)
ok but would try my best, since its a very interesting job. and finding a new job also seems quite interesting and also changing city (Berlin is lovelyt but i also wonder about London. and also fb looks like a very interesting tech place/ ) (so i really wish i succeed this time in this interview) (cause this idea made me happy:) the idea of changing my life finding a new job, moving to another city (i like moving to other city concept), and i never had worked in fb/google like companies before and quite wonder about. )
though i am not any hopeful on job interview process i feel like i would again yet another failure would happen from my constant failure job interviews like these type of job interviews with coding exams:D
i would try my best (though i am not that much hopeful of my success ) in the interview process.
though they have thousands of engineers there they dont need my skills. unless they dont need people whom craft project using researching maths areas. maybe i might be helpful in those topics. i like learning an area to create new topics like currently working on new represesntation of natural numbers. or qm stuff algebra rewriting topics. or such topics like that. though again i guess lots of people in those areas also work in such topics there either. or maybe software stuff i could be helfpful but there are lots of coders there either.
but i am quite pessimistic about interview process looking to all such interviews i ever attended :D i am not any good in jpob interviews:D
i always attend such interviews with mood of: ok yet another job interview i would fail in :D i sometimes remember saying explicityly ok i have exam issues and dont attend the interview. i remember receiving twice google job interviews but ddtn attended since i have issues with coding exams. ok ad/hd rate among we coders is not that much so i guess coding exams is not bad stuff. but i really am not good at. i lack capability set to study to any exam ever in my life. i repeated courses many times in university due to that.
but i would definitely try my best. cause changing job idea seems interesting. also changing city (this city is also lovely but London also looks very interesting) and also fb also looks cool technology development place. (current workplace i work is also really nice. team is great also). so i really find this topic very interesting in brief due to these. but i am not that hopeful on my success in interview process honeslty. anyway. i actually have no kind of hope cause i know i always fail in coding exams cause i never could manage to stydy to exams (i never could succeeded that ever in my life).
briefly:
i became very happy to receiving a job offer. chainging city/changing job to there all looks quite interesting. but not hopeful that i would get the job either honestly. cause i am an epic failure in job interviews honestly.
ok so whilst this job interview process starts on tomorrow, i wish for best/success to happen, but i expect actually failure in interview cause i am always an epic failure in job interviews.
even if i know i wont be able to get the job most possibly, this job offer made me happy, thanks for considering my resume to people whom considered.
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current workplace is also great. i received many job offers and ddnt applied to whilst working here. but this looked very interesting since includes changing city (i always like that, even this city is also amazing, i always like changing cities/learning new cities, and London also seems very interesting), chainging job also looks very interesting, sicne i really wonder abouyt tech development in such company in such projects.
but i have 0 hope in succeeding in interview actually.
but i would try my best. but i dont have any hope in succeeding either.
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ok so i would attend with knowing i would most possibly fail in interview process.
i really am interested to try the career there. if i succeed i would be happier than failing. but i also have not much hopes in succeeding in interview. but would try my best in interview :)
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ok meanwhile, other projects continues. these topics like maths topics seems more easier than exams to me i dont know why. but i also doint like exams in maths:D i never ever could manaqge to study to any exam in my life.
for instance, i succeeded in SAT only because SAT were very easy coincidentally in my year that i entered SAT. otherelse, in static knowledge needing questions, i did lots of logical guesses cause i also had lack of studying capability on high school years. i dont remember any time i managed to succeed to study to any exam for all my life even for once. maybe only to some course in mid school i had to study and could also.
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i really wish i could succeed. (but i have not much hopes in success in interview either).
btu maybe this interview is differnt. since role seemed as maybe some other role like different technical role? i dont know. i hadnt understood. ok lets see tomorrow.
this all seems very interesting. changing city. changing job. setting up a new life in a new place. honestly very interesting idea.
but honestly i dont have much hopes on passing the interview. from my previous interviews in lots of jobs. i usually fail in job interviews with exams. i only succeed in ones with project creation types. wher i create a software project etc.
anyway.
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my goal in life to create some life is from my btc project or other projects.
but this also job chance made me happy since idea of it looks cool really like working in such projects i saw. maybe i succeed and get the job. it would be quite interesting/cool to work in such projects. (but honestly i dont have any hopes in passing the interview phase from all my job interviews before with coding exam interviews).
but i surely would try out my best. since i really wish i could get the job. since looks really interesting place with interesting tech projects. lets try mybest/hope for success since looks an amazing idea honestly to work in fb or learn about a new city/work in those very interesting tech projects etc. looks amazing idea honestly. but i dont have any hopes in my interview process to succeed also. this time if people say coding exam to me, i would from start say (like i said to other companies before) i would say i have exam issues. i dont even try attending exams cause i cant study then it becomes very stressful when attending the exam when hadnt studied either. i always failed as i observe. so when there is exams, i dont attend the interview in recent years. cause i always fail. (cause i dont remember any time i could succeed to study to any kind of any exam in my life:D and its something i cant manage to do, i guess even if i am undiagnoed, i guess i have ad/hd severely. looking to my life. )
ok lets learn about interview process detailon tomorrow. if its including exam, i would thank for considering my resume but wont attend (since i always fail in coding exams honestly there is no logic in attedning since i would fail as usual :D) but if its someinterview process other like without exams and with project developmnt, i would attend in such case surely cause this idea of working in fb London seems amazing idea. since i wonder about London, i wonder about tech projects in fb or work life there either.
current workplace is great. but i really wonder about London also. and also tech projects in fb also. i wonder alot about fb shops projects, i am quite interested to ecommerce sector and i also remember some techs i saw in shops technologies or some techs they developed, so its all very interesting job.
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anyway,
honestly i am really interested to get the job cause really looks as an interesting place with quite cool tech projects.
lets see on tomorrow whether is a job interview type i succeed or fail. i would surely attedn the interview if its not the interview type i always fail. (i always fail in coding interviews.) (if its not coding interview type, then i have chances to succeed in interviewing process). (dont know the detailed career role yet jujst know its domain that its from fb shops related technologies. i have no idea about the interview process. )
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ok but since i dont have that much hopes in getting the job, i continue the agenda of btc project in tandem.. i honestly dont have much hope in getting job. but thanking to pepole for considering my resume. i thank alot for considering my resume. and if its something like, if its something like some peole felt sad to my life troubles and doing this job offer for that, there is no need for that :) i can handle all of my life's job troubles myself:) but thanking for considering my resume for the job. but if its not any being sad to my life's troubles but just since i am talented in some math or software areas, i would be happy to apply to. but i wouldnt be happy to apply to if they offered such job because they felt sad to my life's troubles somehow. i dont know why i received an offer. either because of my math interest/software background or because i had some sad life? i wish its not the latter case? cause i wouldnt be happy to receive a job offer since some people felt sad for me/my life's traumas? how can i know if the job offer is just based because i am an weird math liking coder or not? there seemed possibility of receiving the offer due to feeling for my life's traumas? like since i always blog about my traumas (which are unrelated to fb people any). is i received a job offer due to that? i wish they hadnt felt sad to me my life's challenges and offered a job? anhwyay. i wouldnt be happy to apply to job in that case. but i feel like tis because i am a weird coder with math interests or lots of project ideas etc. so i guess this is reason of job offer. (just to note: if the offer happent because they felt sad to my life's traumas, my life traumas i can handle, and i wouldnt be happy if i received a job because i had traumas in my life (and my life traumas are unrelated to fb people either :) non of traumas of life of guh has any relatedness to fb people or my traumas are not any related any people from any tech company side either. quite unrelated topics.) anyway i guess its just because i am a coder with math interest areas. i guess i wish its not because people felt sad to my life's traumas, i can pretty well handle traumas really. and noone needs to feel sad to my unrelated traumas caused by unrelated topics unrelated people, honestly. anyway.
anyway i dont think its something like that, i think its i because of i am a coder with weird math interest areas and lots of project ideas in lots of areas. i guess this is reason i received an offer.
i am not any hopeful in interview process:D. but lets try my best.
but maybe i could succeed and work there. this looks amazing idea. lets see. i wish to get to learn job details on tomorrow so that i have an idea of interview process.if its a coding interview, i would surely fail . but thats also ok. (and i have lots of supplementary goals in my life other than careers. like btc project or else projects. if one amazing new career role chance does not happen, it just doesnt happen. so i see this as a great really great opportunity/career chance in a new role, but if i dont succeed in interview, its ok also. (cause i am really used to failures in interviews, i got used to failing in interviews so much so its the norm for me in interviews. before attending an itnerview, i alweasy look as ok i would most posibly fail. i am just really not good in interviews. but i would try my best to succeed surely) ok it would be amazing if i succeed, but its also ok if i fail :)
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ok tomorrow's agneda: work time: working to work, attending this important interview sometime to get details of job/interview process, and agenda of waking up early to work on representation of natural numbers stuff might not happen since its 1:30am now. though i might still wake up early(ok this d vitamin has had such side effect of making me wake up at 4:30 or 5am last all week). cause iwant to check if this second methodology works to create a representation or not. i investigated this morning but left since work time started. its using now this time i switched to some fourier and cosinesine mechanics basis based representations/inductions. from such maths utiliziations in qm area, i try to utilize that fourier/cosine sine mechanics tecnhiques, this were the second technique to devise the number representation, i am quite hopeful on this one. i constructed one induction that i try to define with cosine sine or euler number based mechanics with the operators defined but its yet in construction phase. other technique i would move to if this doesnt work is using to some sequences based representations like differences based like taylor polynomials based or some sequences based representations. actually cosine sine is also has sequences representations. fourht way might be very challenging. anyway. i think 2nd or 3rd method would solve the task. anyway. now rest time.
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ok this time i woke up at 5:40am. i fell asleep 2am so its weird. my days all last week, waking up very early than usual.
ok then now tackling some cosine sine topics now. in the quest of defining another representation to N.
if this doiesnt work i know my previous differential geometry based method would work i created a differential geometry based stuff for verlet's taylor based integrator. i know it would definitely would work to create this representation.
but i now want to check the cosine sine ways as i mentioned i have 4 methods. first method were very unpractical. second method i got quite curious of since its utilizing newly recently seen qm related math stuff toolings 1 month ago but i am not sure if i would create any method from. but i know 3rd way might definitely work, i mean the method of differential geometry based solution of an integrator i managed to devise sometime ago (the verlet integrator update that i mentioned) but yet still not that much known. 4th method would be the most challenging if these 2 methods dont work. its using abstract algebra topics to redefine the algebra thats one to many type of isomorphic to there (not isomorphic so) but with extrapolation of new features i wish to define some method. but this method would be more challenging than 2 other methods.
ok now i would work on the qm math tooling based method (i mean cosine sine based methodologies or euler arithmetics based methodologies or fourier based).
yayyy i am also optimistic on this representation creation possibility from this method. but unsure of any of the methods. its all unknowns i dont know if i would be able to create.
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ok this is really weird. i woke up early and cant rest either afterwards any. i got used to waking up early. d vitamin is really weird. created a such side effect in my life. constantly waking up early everyday. even if i fall asleep on 2am last night....
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ok today started.
now some fun of qm mechanics basic maths in to try to address this task of representation yeppp.
its so intriguing this qm maths' tooling to invesitgate this maths task. ok, i know it look weird since i mentioned diff. geometry in handling that. but really thats also have intersecting topic and is really seems as possbily as a tool in this task.
but i wonder if qm sides' basic simple version of math toolings might be useful any i dont know. i use the very basical tooling there to check.
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yayyy today important job interview on some hour. lets see if happens or not. if happens my life changes with moving to a new city, working in a new job, new career role. yayyy:)
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ok, now working to some maths topics of basical tooling in some cosine sine stuffs now.
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ok i saw a physics science news and yayyy people found out anomalies wtr to standard model. very cool! i would continue my drawings based novel/scifi chronicles on CERN topic yayy:) ok after measure theory study gets accomplishes this weekend.
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ok today friday right? ok before work day starts lets rework on this qm maths based representation of N try. i dont want to postpone measure theory reading to another weekend. i wish N representation study accomplishes today.
ok an interesting day starts. with quite interesting job offer(yayy new city new career). also an interesting day with N representaiton steps. an interesting weekend interesting measure theory study. today definitely feels quite interesting day./weekend.
my comment for this day: definitely quite interesting day.
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ok fun of N hour now! :) before work day starts i would work on this fun task of N represesntation yuppp. lets see if this second method works out to rewrite a new N representation. yeppp.
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yayyyy then weekend measure theory fun! :)
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ok now its been already near to work start time so i postpone the study to after work hours in evening.
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yayyy so much wondering about job offer/career role and details also. i dont know the exact career role yet but i just know its in ecommerce/shops related techs.
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i wish this job offer is not something like peoplethere read blog and got sad to someone life's traumas:D cause i really could handle all traumas of my life mine. but i would be very happy to apply to if its because i am a weird coder with maths interests or projects interests..
i really wish its not the other way around, like a job offer because i were felt sad for since i had a sad blog with trauma topics (my traumas are unrelated to tech companies nor any people there:D not any kind of any related to :D)
i wouldnt be interested to apply to a job because people felt sad for me:D:DDDDD
i dont know i suspected of such root cause:D since i had really sad blog but i am over trauma of my traumas mostly:D and my traumas are not any related to those any tech companies out there:D
hey i now laughed and smiled for me being innocently not seeing this dimension if such dimension exists. is it a job offer because people felt sad for me since i had a sad blog abouy ttraumas? hey i am prettyok in mylife. and have lots of goals in life. e.g. bitcoin project, e.g. new measure to qm side. but i would be surely very happy to work there either:) i wish this job is not for since people felt sad to me. i wouldnt ever wanted such job chances for since people felt sorry for my life? cause i am really pretty doing fine in my life. i got over traumas of traumas i had. (and my traumas arent any related to any tech companies:D not any kind of any related. )
i for an instance suspected if this job offer is something like that. that i were felt sad since i had a sad blog. if that is like that i really wont want suhc job. cause i am pretty doing good in my life.
and my traumas i had in my life are nonrelated topics and not any related to tech companies any level in any case.
ok i wish its not any like that. that it snot a job since i were felt sad for since i had a sad blog due to trauma topic which is an unrelated topic.
ok i feel as its not any like that. i feel as its a job offer since i am a coder with math and various projects interest areas. so i would apply to in application process. but if it were not like that, if it were because people felt sad for my traumas since i had a very sad nblog talking of traumas, i wouldnt want to applyt o in such case. i mean i wish its not something like having pitied/sad to guh's traumas and such job offer. cause i am really doing fine in my life. i wish its just for because i am a coder with math interest areas and various projects interest areas.
i feel like its more like, they also like to work with people with specific areas e.g. me in my case my project ideas or math interest. i thinkits a job offer due to that. of my projefct ideas and math topics. i dont think its any because people felt sad to my unrelated traumas and wanted to show support somehow. i wouldnt wanted to apply to a job if a job would try to support me as if i need any support in life. i am an undiagnosed autist but its ok i am doing fine in my life.
but i felt like more like its just because of my project ideas math ideas this job offer happent becuase. i wouldnt want to apply to if they felt sad/pitied to my my traumas/my blog and offered job due to t hat.
my traumas are definitely unrelated honestly.
ok if its a job offer that is for because people there felt sad to my blog my traumas, i wish i would fail in interview cause i would never wish to be felt sad for since i had traumas in my life.
i know i couldnt learn this either. there is no way to ask suhc question in interview right?
ok i would try my chance. but i would also most possibly fail in interview. but its also very ok to fail.
(awhile:
i dont blog my traumas to make people feel sad to me. i blog because i were inside trauma. and blogging made feel it lesser trauma. )
and in between my traumas are not any related to any tech company out there in any level. nor any related to any peopl.e from any tech company.
my traumas are unrelated to any tech companies as i many times stated. anyway.
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ok i guess this is not ayn such offer since people felt sad/pitied to my blog/my traumas and wanted to support. i doint need any people's support in my life honestly.
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my goals are as: creating 300k from btc project, consulting a lawyer to investigate the stalk/character assasination i confronted very throughly to create a legal sue against the stalker. i wont stop doing this ever cause i really confronted a characrer assasination. its not something to forget about. confronting character assasination is not any topic to forget about. its something to tackle/to investigate/to reply with a legal sue cause i confronted character assasination. i were slandered as a prostitude. and a severe stalk happent with lots of ugly cursess ugly sexual harrassment words etc. so its not a topic to forget about and i would never stop investigating this and would definitely as soon as i cfreate capital would consult a lawyer. this is not any topic to forget about and this is not about being autistic either. i were depressed because i confronted character aqssasination. so my autism and the character assasination are quite differnt topics. so i would never stop that investigation of that character assaination i confronted for 5 years. and i would create a legal sue also. its not any topic to any forget about. this i saw from an editor whom commented like that i think because knows eally northing about the character assasination i confronted. anyway. sending good day cheers. i had some interesting cool readers like editors:D ok :) ok sending a good day/cheers! but i hadnt understood whats written exactly any. anyway. cheersthere:) wishign a nice day :) ok i have cool readers like ediors. cheers! but i wish i become lesser attention taking person cause i am a really not deserving people's such attention really :D its just feelsnot ok:D it feels not ok to take such people's attention like editors any:D i am really not important persno and thanks for showing attention but really not important person i am:D but sending all cheers! and good day:) cheers:) (i dont any deserve yours attention /your precious attention editor person:) . but thanks but i hadnt understood the meaning of that writing :) anyway.. sending lots of cheers! i all want to state, i really dont deserve yours attention any:D i am just an idiotic person out there:) anyway. sending lots of cheers/good day :) )
but i might forget about it either i dont know. i dont know what to do
one request from all people: please less attention to this idiotic guh named person please:D i am really starting to find it kind of weird from taking attention from editors like people whose time is important and please less attention to idiotic person like me :D. i find it not ok to take attention like this:D really honestly:D i say what when i see coincidences:D
anyway sending all cheers to all people whom shown attention. but i really dont deserve this:D
aha i newly started to understand the writing there. ok thank you :) i guess its for a previous topic aha. ok. thank you for writing such article. :) thank you people behind this article.
but i would be very happy if you show less attention to this guh named iditiotic person :D really really i say what everytime i see attention from editors:D sending cheers:) and wishing this idiotic guh takes less attention from editors like cool people. i am an idiotic person i dont any desserve attention/writing coincidences of important people like editors out there:D i m just an unimportant and idiotic person :)
in any case, sending cheers and a good day :)
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and also:
theses are not any related to any tech company out there. neither my traumas nor any such topics like stalker afre any kind of related any tech company nor not any kind of related to any peoiple from any tech company. completely irrelevent unrelated topics. not any related in any sense in any topic, completely definitely unrelated.
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ok i definitely think i hadnt any received job offer because epople pitied to mhy my sad blog:D i think its because of my projects i think. anyway. i would apply to surely. since looks as an interesting career. i always like changing city/job concept alot and projects there also looks quite interesting.
anyway but i might also fail in interview process but that ok no people needs to feel sad/pity to me (since i had a sad blog:D i am doing fine in life :D) i think its not any like that (that people dont pity to me since i had a very sad blog which i told my traumas:D) and i definitely think job offer is because of projects/math topics.
for a while i suspected whether i told too much my traumas and people pitied/felt sad to me:D its jsut i am really doing fine in life. :D i saw something about neurodivergence sections. hey me autist need no additional support from any companies since due to being autist.
i for a while suspected job offer is due to that. that since in one line there i saw neurodivergence word. i were using neurodivergence word also:D
ok i think in general i wanted to restate, if job offer is due to me being autist and supporting autist people, i really am doing fine in my life:D
but i think it might not be like that it might be because of my math interest/project ideas.
anyway. then seeing such article there in that also baffled my mind. anyway.
just wanted to note that i dont need any additional support in my life from companies else everywhere since i am autist. i am not any diagnosed autist but surely i am as i look to symptoms of me myself.
ok but supporting autist people is good thing surely. its not any bad thing.
but i dont talk for other autists they might be thinkign different. i dont want to state it as a general idea. but as an autist, i dont like the idea of extra support to autist people idea cause we find ourselves no differnt than other people whom are nonautists. but i also saw other autists whom find supoprt idea good. so my idea only belongs to just only mine.
but i dont think job offer is for to support to autist people like job offer but because of my projects/my math interest. i dont think it were becauyse people wanted to support me. i wouldnt wanted any extra supoprt from companies in my lfie because i am an autist. cause i am no diffrnt than other people. but its just my only personal opinion. other autist people not think like this. its just my personal opinion.
i dont think any the job offer were anything like supporting aiutist people type of job offer. its because i started to think like that after reading such news article in somewhere else in unrelated newsplace. but i think job offer werent any like that. i think it were just because i have nice project ideas and interested to maths. i dont think it were a job offer since i am autist and people wanted to support me due to that.
but anyway lets apply to. but if it were because of i am an autist and people wanted to support autist people i wont apply cause peronsally i dont like supportive stuff i am doiong fine asn autist. but i dont think its like that. i only thought like that because i saw an article in another place in an news place which told about unrelated topics etc. all topics got confused. that article also were about nother topic. but it confused my mind of whether if i receive any job offer because i am autist. anyway. i dont think its like that. i wouldnt want to receive any job offer because i am autist.
ok there is nothing in job offer to make me think like this. but an unrelated news article made me think like this. but the article were also related to another unrelated topic.
all topics got confused after reading that article in a place. anyway.
i wish editors would stop focusing on this idiotic person guh:D cause it confusess my head afterwards:D editors are cool people and i am really just an idiotic person and i dont deserve their attention. and it always confuses my mind when i see an aritcle with coincidences:D thanks for attention but it really confuses my mind alot and i am not used to be shown attention like that:D i really dont deserve attention of you cool editor people's time any:D
ok i since this confusion happent due to that article even article is another topic not related i am not that much interested to apply to job for since article made me suspoected as if i am receiving job applications in my life since i am autist. this is not any happy idea because i dont like supportive stuff ever. cause if ind myself no other than nonautist people.
though job offer had nothign to make me think like that. its just an unrelated article i read made me think people see us extra support needing people but its not like that, i am an autism unaware ways raised autist so i have skills to cope with life. actually maybe autism unaware raising might have advantages or might not i dont know. but i am pretty good doing in my life:)confuses me to understand whats said. i cant understand whats meant i am pretty sure a neurotypical also would have issues in understanding.
i wish to becaome unattention taking person wishfully:D
and cheers to the cool editor. i am pretty sure ddnt meant any bad meaning. but its just all confusing me:D i am pretty sre it meant all good meanings nothing bad. its just i just cant handle attention alot:D i ldont like attention:D i dont know if editor meant disabled to me. i dont thinkits like that. but the only stuff i mean is: this is too much attention:D i dont any like attention any:D and i am just an idiotic person with a stupid life there out. i dont desevre editor's attention in any level:D thanks for attention. but its overwhelming me:D and sending cheers! and all good wishes! and please and please dont show attention to this idiocratic guh please:D
i would be very happy if i became lesser famous among cool editors :D i am really an idiot and i really dont deserve their attention any honestly :D
i started to see i became famous among editors. some editors i saw disliked me, some editors liked me, but i wish noone neither liked me or disliked me, cause i dont any like attention ever:D and i am a definite idiot:D i dont any deserve any cool edkitor's time attention any level:D i am really a definite idiot and i really dont deserve this intents of sometimes writing good stuff to me. i really dont deserve this cause i am just an unimportant person with a normal life and i dont like attention alot:D
but thanks for all the attentiuon:D and thanks for all good words when said:D not thanks for bad words when said:P but i wish this being famous among editor people's mindscapes gets stopped:D causes i am really an idiot:D and i also really dont like attention honestly. i dont either like neither good words nor bad words. i got stressed in both of cases:D i dont any like any attention :D
ok i see that being famous is stressing. i sometimes received bad words sometimes received good words. but i saw i became famous among news editors. ok sending cheers to all of them. and sending<3s also. but please i wish to become unfamous. (i am liked by them or disliked by others. ) but i honestly get very stressed in both situaitons:D when i see any good coincidences like when i see good words said to me, or bad words sqaid tyo me, i both stress alot in both cases causes i dont like attention any:D
i send lots of love and lots of cheers to all editors whom shown some attention me. and wishing i see no attention and be forgotten by cool editors. cause i am really just an idiotic person and i really dont deserve their cool time any in any level:D honestly like that.
i am not of people type whom likes attention. i even stress out when i see people say good words to me wkith coincidences i also stress out in that:D i cant handle any attention ever:D i just wanted to state this:D
i wish to become fastly unfamous very soon:D ok i am really mjust an idiot and i really dont any deserve yours precious time any:D honestly like that:)
and sending lots of love and sending lots of cheers/good wishes to all editors whm shown attention before/now.
but i wish i be shown none attention cause i am really just an idiotic person and i also dont deserve this attention in any level:D and attention is a topic i dont any like honestly. i dont like seeing coincidneces with stranger people's words also. i stress out. i am not of personality typ[e that likes attention :D
but sending lots of love cheers to all editors whom shown any attention before and then:) but i wish i dont be shown:) cause i cant handle this. i cant handle attention any. i am not used to seeing attention from stranger people. its not a topic i can handle in my mind.
ok:D
i think editor tried to say good words to me. but honestly i am an idiot most of the time honestly i am really an idiotic person. and i dont deserve that editor's time in any situation:)
ok. but this topics i cant handle:D i cant handle when people talks to me from articles:D i dont any like any attention at all:)
sending love/cheers and wishing i be forgotten by editors blog readers all at all:D cause i really dont like attention at all :D
i became famous among editors :D i wish to be forgotten soon cause i dont like any fame:D my fame is not like normal fame. some poeple i saw disliked me and said bad words some other people liked me and said good words. so its a weird fame in internet from editors i saw:D and not only editors lots of other people:D
i wish to become unfamous very very soon:D cause i dont really like attention at all:D
i also stress out so much when i see people saying good words to me that people i dont know about. cause i cant handle this any at all. i cant handle attention in any level even for good words nor bad words when if said.
i dont any like attention:D
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ok wishing to be forgotten by attention shower editors very soon :) . i thinksome editors wanted to say good words but i even stress out when seeing that cause i am not used to seeing any attention:D
anyway. sending love and cheers to all editors and people whom shown attention:) but please forget this idiotic guh and please dont show her attention and i dont deserve yours precious time either:D i really dont like attention stuff any at all:D
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ok i think i ddnt received the job offer because i am autist i think its because i have projects math interests so i would definitely continue application. but its ok if i cant succeed. i am doing fine in my current life version either. i dont have to change jobs i dont have to change cities. but i like doing changing jobs cities but its ok if i dont either:)
but i would still apply to. cause changing life is interesting i like changing city/i like chanfging jobs frequently. and projects there also seems very interesting. so i would definitely apply to.(though i might not win the job either but lets try my application chance).
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ok hey this confusion occured (of autism) due to an article i saw in a newsplace. even if they ddnt meanrt bad meaning i dont like being shown attention and it messed up my mind and made me felt as if an unrelated job offer i get is because i am autist. whilst job offer had no such context.
i wish internet forgets about me cause i think ic ant handle any attention. some people in internet liked me and said good words some people said bad words. but i cant handle any of them. i cant handle any attention at all. i am not used to attention. it messes up my mind i cant handle.
ok this became a routine of my life. i open some thing to see coincidences from unknown people like editors sometiems. some editors saying good words some editors sometimes ddnt liked me and said bad words.
but it always when happens i got lost. cause i am not used to attention. i wish internet forgets about me:D cause attention messes up my mind so much:D
this is guh's kidn request from people. since also things got confused. like for instance i really got confronted character assantn but article meant i felt sad because of autism like stuff? its not any like that, i confronted a severe chr. assntn this is why i felt sad in life for many years. or i ddnt understood what that sentence meant? maybe i misunderstood also. but i jsut wanted to state, this is too much attention to this idiotic guh:D. i cant handle this. sending lots of love and cheers to all cool editors whom did references to me but i kindly request to be seen none attention cause i really cant handle at all.
then upon reading that article my mind turned to a state as if everyone sees me as autist and even job offers that happens in my life is related to that. even if there is no such stuff. so everytime stranger internet people say something i got lost like this. definitely got lost today. i think editor might tried to mean good words actually. but i got lost. i just reread and reread and rethought and rethought over and over again and i got lost:) i cant handle attention:D
sending love/cheers to that editor and all other editors that shown any attention to me:) and i wish kindly wish to be shown none attention cause i am an iditiotic thad doesnt deserve editor like peopl;e's attentions, ok? :)
gosh this is really challenging me. this attention topic.
anyway.
i just dont read internet most of the time i saw sometimes newsletters then this time happent through like that. anyway.
i just cant handle attention any:) when people say any word i just cant handle it. because i am not used to talking with unknown to me people. i like talking wth people from that i talk one to one like friends like family. but seeing coincidences from interent from a definite unknown people is kind of an attention type i cant handle.
i saw this started to happen alot. and i am quite unhappy about this. cause i am not liking any attention at all:D
again sending love and cheers to all people whom shown attention to me.
but i wish i am not shown any attention at all. i dont like attention at all.
yet again sending love and cheers to all now and then attentions shown to this guh:) (but please dont show attention to me, i dont like attention at all:))
and i am just an idiot i dont also deserve all you people's any attention at all honestly:D anyway. let add this also:D
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ok lets continue studying. then sometime lets attend interview cause interview has no relatedness to above topics and interview is just a usual job interview and its i should not think due to that newsletter article that i receive job interviews like topics becuase i am autist. the job interview has none relatedness to this topic at all and i dont think i received the job interview because i am autist. its just timely this artcile happent last day and impacted my psychology since i cant handel attention any level at all. wanted to restate job offer is unrelated to this topic at all. not any related to the article. both veyr unrelated topics. anyway.
in brief: whenever attention happens in internet i get lost and i cant any handle it and my head gets confused and ij cant handle any attention at any level at all.
again job offer and artcile are completely unrelated topics. anyway.
i wish people stop showing attention to me i cant handle. i get lost when this happens. i really get lost.
i wish everyone said things all literally so that we dont have to analyze whats meant topic amnd not being able to understand either whats actually meant. so i get lost and confused alot. when i see some attention like this. like coincidence of words etc. i get lost. cause i cant understqand whats actually meant or cant be sure if i understood correct.
i am pretty sure editor of article ddnt any meant bad meaning also. but i just always get lost when i be shown attention like this type of atten tion in which i dont understand whats said.
so i send love/cheers to people whom shown attention. but i wish this stops cause i cant handle this type of attention of trying to understand whats said and couldnt be able to understand fully either. so its all ends up with getting lost feeling getting lost status and my day goes away. i just cant handle this type of attention please dont show me attention like this.
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and actually reason i wanted to apply is to resolve this topics happent. of trying to show out i have none bitterness to the topic happent and we are all civil people whom could handle disputes that happent. that i wanted to apply to show out i have none bitterness because i did some confusion there and some chaos happent afterwards. so i just wanted to i dont know i saw people trying to take stances i wanted this topic to be forgotten and wanted to apply actualy mostly due to that. to show that we are civil people whom could handle conflicts like that that when chaos happent we could forget about happenings (cause there confusions happent and chaos happent anyway) i just wanted to stop any topic related to this of like i saw people taking stqances in this topic i wanted to stop that i saw people polarizinfg on this topic, i wanted to stop polarization and wanted to show how much civil people we are. and i felt sorry my idiotic confusion impacted other people so i felt obligation to show that either with applying to. to show how much civil people we are. and to stop any polarization thats tried to be created based on this topic. i saw 2 times people tried to do polarization using this topic. or using this topic to tackle their issues with referencing me. so i wanted to stop any polarization in that. and i wanted to stop any such thing. so this is actually why i applied to. to show how civil people we are. and to stop any polarization or any topic like that rooting from this idiotic previous confusion of mine.
i dont expect all people to understand this. but civil people also think of things like their confusions outputs and results. and i saw my idiocracy resulted in other people being impacted, like people using my topic to do tackle their issues sometimes. and this topic becoming an polarization rooting topic. so i wanted to stop that and i wanted to show the civil behavior. and wanted to stop others utilizing this topic in their own matters. like i saw 2 times people used my blog words for their own issues with that company. so i ddnt wanted to be any material to such topic of polarization which is popular in world. to stop any possible 3rd such topic, i definitely applied to show there is no biitterness in my side, because we all are civil people and i did a huge confusion in that. and i wish to fix my confusion results of chaos happent due to that. so i behaved as civil as i can with being on company's side cause i did a very huge idiocratic confusion which resulted in chaos. anyway. then i saw later people tried to utilize this as a material in their issues with that company. this i wanted to stop. so this is why i wanbted to apply. to fix my error of confusion. of having done a very idiocratic confusion and to show we all people are very civil people. that is not fixated to past.
but i see people whom likes to polarize would find a polarization topic in any way. this time targeting me or else. i mean if i dont be against the company this time i become the target to be polarized agaisnt. lots of people on world, lots of topics to be polarized of. but i just wanted to stop any people any using this topic in their polarization topics so i applied to show i am a civil person and to show i have none bitterness on all bad words be said because i did a very huge confusion which resulted in chaos as i mentioned before how it happent.
its not becuase i need a job change. honestly i wont need any jobs either soon when i build the btc miner product. but i applied to show we are civil people and i have none bitterness agaisnt those people causes i confused and chaos happent on confusion and thats all. so i feel sad about this. and i wanted to show with applying that this i wanted to show this. i wanted to have any impact of that confusion be gone away and that people whom want some conflict have no material for conflicts. cause people love conflicts. but i wanted to make it like that people cant find any conflicting material for this topic.
its not that i need suhc job. or career. cause i can build my projects either. but i am very sad for my confusion and i saw people using that topic twice to do create polarizations among people to tackle their own topics. so i ddnt wanted to be any material to such topic. so this is why i applied to show civil behavior to other peoiple whom tries to constantly tackle and create some conflict matter out of this topic. i just wanted to show some civil behavior. and to disable other people using this topic of my confusion and its related results as a material to do create conflicts or feed conflicts for their opwn issues etc. i know this might not be understandblae. but this is how we autists think actually. i mean taking responsibility of our mistakes and wanting to fix them. with showing civil behavior like showing no bitterness and being by the company side (since i resulted in a chaos and i wouldnt wanted to i just confused as i described before)
our behaviors might not be easy to decrypt understand to others. but its like that.
i quite get anxious seeing twice people using this my topic in their issues with the company so i applied to show that this is not a material to be used in their own conflicts and because i did a very very idiocratic confusion. which resulteed in chaos. so i jut try to fix that in any possible way. i dont expect this to be understood by people. but our brains works like this. we dont like creating negative impact in other people's somehow due to our own confusion.
ok people always like conflicts. now since i applied they targeted me. if i dont applied then other people would use this topic to tackle their own issues with such company. it just happens always every where conflicts. ok i should get used to the fact that people and i dont share same brain and our thoughts like other< people not understanding my behavior could happen.
its just i saw people polarized due to my confusion my error and tried to use it as a polarization source in their own issues. then i wanted to stop this all with applying to offer. to show civil behaviopr and to show the chaos that happent due to my confusion is rooted from my confusion and i dont likethe chaos that happent and i wish to fix it with at least not making people use that topic as a material in their own unrelated discussions/topics.
i really wisahg to go ot another universe if people dont stop using this as a material in their own issues. ok wormholes please exist like in interstellar movie.
i just wanted to behave and i am a civil person so i wanted to behave with showing i have no bitterness cause i did some huge confusion second i didnt liked other people utilizing that confusions resulting chaos as a material in their own topics unrelated topics. so i wanted to stop all such with applying to to show civil behaivor to unrelated people whom tried to utilize this topic in any way.
if people wont stop tackling this topic i wish to go to another universe creating some physics rules.
i just when applying tried to stop people using previous chaos topcis as in new conflicts materials and to show my support to that company. cause i did a huge confusion which resulted in a huge chaos. which is very idiocratic and i wish to fix that. with showing my support to that company. since i hated seeing that chaos topic of previous times being utilized by other people for their own unrelated conflicts etc. i ddnt wanted to see any that so i wanted to show blatantly my support to that company. cause the chaos resulted from my confusion. and i ddnt wanted the chaos to impact that company any. so i wanted to show my support in any way. so this is why i applied. to show support to show civil behaivor to outside viewers of this topics whom tried to create other conflict topics from such chaos:S
as i state, i support that copmpany because in that previous chaos that happent like 1 year ago right? it were my huge confusion of some topic my idiocratic confusion and if its like a chaos it ddnt resulted good. i saw people trying to utilize this topic with their own issues with that company. so i wanted to show my support to that company via applying. thats all. cause i ddnt any wanted this topic to happen like this like my huge confusion being utilized in peoples discussions topics with taht company any. cause i did the mistake of confusion. they gave emotional reaction. and it all happent in history. its past. and secondly i feel very sorry for such chaos happent. and i saw people tried to polarize this topic. so i wanted to show my direct support to that company. cause i were even unconsciously responsible for a chaos that happent even important or unimportant 1 year ago. so due to that i wanted to show my support cause it were my error to confuse not theirs. and all chaos that happent after wards, i jusut wanted to stop any chaos that happens since i saw people trying to utilize this topic with their own unrelated conflicts with that company. so i wanted to show my support to the company. cause i dont like any creating negative impacts in other peoples company due to my confusion :S its so shitty to have suhc thing happens. so to stop any future usage of this topic in any discussion, to show some civil behaivor i applied to remove any possibility of people using tbhis previous 1 years ago chaos in their own issues with such companies. i just wanted to show my support to stop any future such situation. cause i saw this happent twice. i saw peoplke had conflicts with that company then they when raising their conflicts they utilized my topic of confusion and its related things happent 1 year ago or alike. and these 2 topics happent recently. upon seeing this, i wanted to show direct support to that company. cause i dont any like seeing any of this at all of people utilizing a chaos that happent due to my confusion 1 year ago. its like there are constant conflicts in world constantly and poeple constantly search for a material in their conflicts. so i ddnt wanted this 1 years aog topci to be any material of in people's unrelated conflicts with companies etc.
i know this might not be understandbale. to think like this. like but i dont like resulting any negative impact in any other people's company due to my own confusion that huge idiocratic confusion i had 1 year ago. and i saw exactly this year other people tried to materialize this tlopic for their own conflicts with company. seeing that i definitely wanted to support the company. for since it were a very idiocratic confusion. and i still feel sorry for confusing like that:S and i still feel sorry for anything related to that:S i still feel sorry to them for that in any level:S i still feel very sorry for this topic. i ddnt want this topic to be any material to anhy people so i wanted to show supoprt with applyignt to jhob offer to show world we people are all very civil people and could have disputes in past. and specifically due to that i wanted to apply more. cause other people use everytopic in their conflicts and i ddnt wanted that historical confusion and its chaos topic to be utilized by other people for their conflicts etc. i still feel very sorry for my confusion and how it resulted:S
its not because i need that job that much. its jiust in every word i tried to show my support. so that any people whom tries to utilize 1 years ago topic(of my huge misunderstanding and its repercussions chaos) wont be able to utilize in their own conflicts with that company.
as visible in every word i try to show my support. cause i did a huge confusion and i am very sorry for it. its because of fake news hppnt to make me feel like that but this topic overall resulted very unhappy and i saw people trying to utilize this topic in their own unrelated discussions with that company.
to not make that 1 year ago topic any material to other people, i applied and with everyword i try to show my support to that company.
cause i really feel very sorry about 1 year ago's huge confusion i had. it happent due to fake news and other stuff that i mentioned. but i still feel very sorry about.
and i would continue to always support that company because i still feel very sorry about that 1 year ago huge confusion :S
and i wanted to blatantly show my support in every word or also throguh my application.
i know this might not be understandblae for people whom fixate to past conflicts. but i fixate to feeling sorry for how my confusion resulted. my fixation is about feeling sorry for this topic for my idiocratic huge confusion.
in every word and every further time i would continue to also support that company. (unless i see a wrong of. hadnt seen wrong of.) just some personal disputes happent due to my confusion. anyway.
i still feel so much sorry about my confusion. and the time i saw people utilizing that topic int heir own conflicts with that company, i wanted to double show my support cause i also feel very sorry for my confusion and i wnated to close any possibility of that 1 years ago topic being as used as material to any conflict.
so anyway. this is a hard topic to me. but si a topic i feel as i need to show blatant support to that company. since i did a very idiocratic confusion 1 year ago:S and people using that unrelated topic in conflicts of their own with that company is kind of unacceptible to me. so i wanted to blatantly show my support.
its not that i am in to careers topics alot. i more like building a project myself actuaqlly. but i wanted to show a very blatant support for any negative impact if i ever created in such place cause it were my confusion and i still feel very sorry for my confusion:S
i know people might not be able to understand this type of behaviors.but everyone is not same i guess.
i wanted to and would show always support to that company and through my acts i wanted to show. cause i feel very sorry for my confusion. and people using that as a material in their own unrelated conflicts is so unacceptible in my view.
people ;like conflicts so much. its ok.
but i just try to be on correct side. to show supoprt to that company.
cause i dont any want any negative impact in other people's company at all due to my idiocracy idiocratuc confusion 1 year ago:S
and i dont fixate in past(1 year ago). secondly i wont let other people use 1 years ago topic as a material to their own cponflicts with such comlpanies that really disturbes me. cause i also myseslf feel very sorry about that and seeing others to use that material makes me doubly get feel sorry for overall.
i wish people dont use other people's topics in their own conflicts cause it might not be appropriate for other people like me e.g. me. i find it quite uncomfrotable to see such thign cause i still feel very sorry for that idiocratic confusion i had 1 year ago and seeing that topic being utilized as material looks unacceptible to me.
so as i shown and i would continue to show support to that company. cajuse that idiccratic confusion i dont want any negative impacts in other people's company ever:SSSS
secondly very recently i saw people tried to materialize this topic. so in that, i wanted to stop any future materialization with showing direct blatant support to that company in my words. cause i think its a really cool com[pamny and i still feel very sorry for my idiocratic confusion that happent due to reading fake news and other stuff i mentioned. i honestly think its really a very cool com;pany. and i would never ever want any negative impact in any cool company ever:S due to my own idiocratic misundestanding 1 year ago:S its other people's cpompany not mine and i wouldnt never want any negative impact against. so i would also continue to show direct blatant support. cause past(1 year ago) is past. and some misunderstandings happent, some disputes happent, but its past and i did a very huge misunderstandsing 1 year ago and i still feel very sorry about that. it did nhappent since i confused people and since i read some fake news before.
i still feel very sorry about that confusion of mine:S
and i honestly think its one of the coolest tech companies ever to study. it has been always like that to my view. one of the most modern companies of world with a very modern environment, i think one of the coolestcompanies of world. honestly.
other software companies arent cool like that fb yet. maybe apple. buit not other software companies are cool yet as alike those.
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