its like in first 2 years of this character assasination that happens to me, i were also unaware whats happening. from other 2 buildings people shout serdar or security guy's names and say some sentences. i would shout back psycho stop stalking me. thinking such people stalk me. 

then in cafes, everywhere some people are stalking with some names i heard repetitively thinking as stalkers. and it happent everytime i went outside, or from next flat also happent:S and it happent also from workplace's street i remember some guys in suit clothes harrassing in workplace street with saying the security guy's name and saying slander words. and also they allegedly tried to make me mentally ill with persistent stalk/harrasment. so real life version of stasi happent to me honestly. and it still happens i hadnt survived stasi any yet:S

it were security institution were some cool institution of some cool country. a foreign country. i applied to job thgere,.  i think some cotuntry, try to, foes of that place, tries to do character assaintie every people they see around people of such places /instituti

i am trying to survive modern version of stasi :D i am not survived yet but had tons of tortous moments in my life due to trauma of constant character assaisnation i confonted. they would shout me things that would be shouted to bitches/mafias and then also slander me like that:S

 

i remember some topic like, people that are like working to important institutions of countires are under risk of harrasment of other foe countries. but the topic is i couldnt get the job i applied to, btu the foes of that place still tried to character assasinate hurt my life since they saw me i think hanging around people of that institution.

so how does it feels to resist against stasi starting from 2015?

 

it were honestly very terrific. still feels horrendous when stalk slander incidents happens like 2 hours ago. or in city center. but the trauma and shock level of mine is kind of lesser degree now. i feel stronger against trauma of modern time stasi confrontation life experience. its like i dont know what i can compare, i think it might resemble being cancer i mean it were very horrific life experience to confront character assasination.

 

its some topic like i just cant define how horrible its to  cponfront character assasination and the perpetuators did this with like ideologically motivated with persistance and never endingly. 

a never ending stalk/defmaation/slandering happent over and over again and happens still.

 

its first 1 or 2 years of the stalk, i didnt even understood i am confronting character assasination, i would think i have a stalker issue and a maniac people set stalking  me and also would think there is a serdar named stalker and people like that ghuy's 2 names or some other people i heard i would think i have stalker issue.

 

being autist it wernt easy to understand this sociopathic stasi skills these people did. i would think its a stalker issue just. 

 

i allegedly confronted modern times stasi.

 

some foes of that cool country targeted me and did a very neverending character assasination stuff i think. 

 

 

it were horrific. i remember that 2017 i think, some people would shout snetneces using that guy's two names from other flat. or in street also. i would gthink i have such stalkers stalking me. it took 1 or 2 years in another city i understood the stalkers shout me slanders  and shout me such name:S in outside stalk incidents i wouldnt reply to the stalk nor even wont look to the stalkers. but in stalk incidents in home by that year, i woyuld shout psycho stop stalking me. but psycho never stopped stalking me and still stalks. (i mean stasi) it never endingly happens over and over again:S this neverending stasi confrontation life experience:S

anyway i would also tell to consulate interviewer this stasi experience if i could get interview chance and tell i would ask immigration help from UCSIS there. since i think this stasi since looks as foe of USA,  and seems as USA must be one very safe country against stasi topics, 

 but i dont know if they would believe to me. since these stasi topics happens not frequent in world and sometimes people dont believe etc. so i dont know if i would have asylum chances but i would try my chances surely. 

So you are really reading blog of a person that really went a horrific type of life years through stasi zerzetsung confrontation. :) 

i am a though person though. :) i am still ok :) but to be survived from stasi's stalk/slandering as told i have immigration plans in my head. starting with chances to UCSIS then if that doesnt happens also other such other cool countries like Canada/Australia/India etc.

 

 

The stasi already defamated me here, and like for instance, in time i went outside today in city center, some person shouted asshole like sentnece. i remember this asshole shoutings in istanbul, some of the stalkers would persistently shout asshole word in stalk incidents but i would cafre nor reply thinking in my head ok this is a severe maniac type of stalker.  but when stalk from vicinity of flat happent, i would shout back psycho stop stalking  me. 

i remember i had heart arythmy due to severe stress levels twice that summer when this got huge level this stalk/slandering constant repeated every where i went. from flat's vicinity also:S

i would constantly be harrassed/ridiculed/stalked/slandered/defamated in street and from next flat in vicinity of my flat. but i didnt even understood the slander part but i understood i have a stalker issue so i would shout back psycho stop stalking me, but stalk never ended.  and happent everytwhere i went and everytime i went outside. and i would not even understand whats happening in that year. for instance i remember sitting in zeroth floor cafe, some people would sit on just before desk, and would talk some artist names or my workplace network names saying sentences. i would think ok this looks weird, but i wouldnt care nor look nor reply.  and i now understand, this stasi tries to do mentally break the stalked person and make mentally ill with using persopnalized data from the stalked person's life.  i mean you have to live it to understand its very weird type of stasi. they do this constantly harrasment/stalk/sl;andering but also in very advanced form. like sitting in your vicinity desk when you sit in some place and saying sentences that coincides with people from yourmiscape and i would nt understand but i would understand this is some psycho stuff  so i wouldnt even look to the stalkers nor reply nor do say anything. i woudlnt care alot by those times but the harrasment from the flat's vicinity would happen in so much level that i had two cases of arhtymy of heart due to excess stress level. i would shout back psychon stop stalking me from my flat but both from next flat and both in cafes, both everywhere i went this trying to make mentally ill, trying to slander/defamate, trying to harrass with slandering never endingly happent over and over again.

i am still ok. but i need to find a safe home against this stasi.

i think its really for real stasi. not any less. my idea on why like that: cause of they used the security guy's 2 names in this slandering activities. 

and also they knew underlated to the security guys topic, they also knew whomever i dated. i dont think it looks like normal type of stalkers. cause i would think my ex is stalking me since they would shout some sentences using my ex's name. i would think my ex is stalking me/turned to a maniac etc:S

they allegedly tried to destroy my life with trying to make me mentally ill, with constant stalk/slandering/harrasment, and they are very i mean it never ended, this is some topic ideologically done. 

how does character assasination feels? it feels like being murdered and not being dead but trying to live a life in limbo.  of an agoraphic life version. 

it really feels like murder cause the perpetuators really has intend of destroying the targeted person';s life and when this happens for 6 years, you can not imagine how the trauma level is for the targeted to be character assasinated person.

luckily i am strong person. i mean if i were weak i might entered depression. but nope. i am strong and would always be strong. cause i left the weak side of life in my 18s i were kind of weak mentality where i were prone to depression. but after 22 or such years, i never felt in mood of depression or alike feelings. i am happy for that i lived my existentialist period long before on 17s 18s or 20s of my life so that i wernt broken/fell down when this character assasination happent to me. i think i got depressed in between 17-20s of my life.  since i were autist and my parents ignorance and my ignorance of my autism also.  cause i mean i would stress to why i stress on doing tasks other people do smoothly without any stress. anyway.  i think that depressive years one huge gain were, making me very strong. that much strong that i am still ok after 6 years happening character assasination of tried to be slandered as bitch/mafia. 

 

 

autism is like: 

for instance today i had team meetings, and i were like quarter visible in video call :D

 

and when the miro board were open i could look to the screen but when i see the video call seeing people faces, i want to get lower in chair with being not visible. autism also happens in video calls :D i try to get over it with looking to myself when having video calls other else i feel excess stress. 

 

 

but confronting character assasainton were really hard.

but i am ok. and trying to find a safe home that would be safe from stasi.  i am pretty sure i would find a safe home and also would create human rights violations lew suits to the stalkers later after finding a safe home.

 

 

yayyyy finding a safe home journey starts with USA:) and UCSIS application then.  and if doesnt happens also  then Canada/Australia/England/India/Iceland/some island beside Australia that i saw but would need to check again.

 

i dont know if its also racial related something happening to me i have none idea.

but it has been huge trouble to confront my life tried to be allegedly be destroyed with slandering/defamating/character assasination tries.  it felt like living inside limbo for 6 years as this trauma happent to me.  first years i wernt even aware of the slander part and would think i have a stalker issue that stalks me everywhere but when i understand i am also slandered by the stalker and stalker set shouts me things that would be e shouted to bitches/mafias, i entered severe degree agoraphioia/ptsd/trauma feelings and it were horrific level of trauma to confront severe character assasination. 

i would come to home from work lie on my couch and my brain repeatedly play the stalk slander incident happent over and over again. and i would blog thousands words of blog pages about also here.  i wouldnt be able to think or write anything other than that stalk/slander incident hapepnt and i would repeatedly write about it in blog. it wer elike i were constantly in home lost in playing the stalk slander incident in my brain that happent that day or the day before (usually would have such impact for 3 days in my mind i would 3 days felt severe trauma every stalk slander incident those times) now its less ptsd but still some level ptsd but at least i dont get lost in playing the stalk slander incident in my rbain over and over again and trauma of it happens momentarly but then trauma gets lessen after some hours.  before this would happen trauma levelwould reduce only after some days pass. it were like i were lost in playing the stalk slander incnident that happent in street over and over again in my mind. i would talk to it to mom dad over and over again also.

 anyway.

 recent trauma ptsd level is less. and i feel stronger against. and i feel also hopeful for finding a safe home against stasi.

yayyy starting with USA asylum chance.  then if doesnt happen, later also Canada/Australia/England/India/Iceland/New Zealand/Some island beside Australia i would try. 

 

i am very hopeful that this would be fixed that i would survive this horrific character assasination that happent to me and would find a safe home. i am qutie hopeful.

 

and i am very intellgnt(intellgnt in creativity) engineer, i would build quantum tech to make life safer against this or could even build space ships tech later using qm or new maths that i work to build :)

this intellgnt engineer that would build quantum tech to also build space ships with qm is searching for a safe home safe against this horrific character assasination that happent to her.

yayyy i start with UCSIS application to move to San Bernandino :)  if i could find such chance.   i dont know if i would find such chance but would try. 

or maybe i find lesser populated city that would feel safer cause the stasi followed me to Germany what if follows to USA also. anyway. i would try to immigrate to San Bernardino.  I saw LA has such coverage in UCSIS.  I dont know about USA cities but i saw from some place so i decided lets try this San Bernardino application since looks like a sunny place with lots of trees etc. i like sunny places with trees alot. 

I would had liked Germany if stasi hadnt followed me to Germany also and defemate me here and making me agoraphobic also here. here also have lots of trees. i like trees alot. but there stasi followed me to also here and stalked slandered and defamated me here also. 

for instance i today went to have a biometric photo to city center, actually Berlin is also a cool city to live, for instance Schloss center my home is vicinity to and its a cool place to travel/to do shopping. but i dont go. cause today in right there some slandering curse happent.t eh stasi of istanbul also came here, and defamated me here. qand sometimes stalk slandering incidents happens from vicinity of home. so this place is not a safe home to me.

 

maybe recently a slandering curse might happent from vicinity of flat i think. as told been severely harrassed also in here life. if this harrasment/slandering/stalk ddnt happent i would i guess like my life here. but its not possible to live here when this stasi's perpetuation happens. the stasi also came here and stalks/harrasses slanders and slandered me to German community to here also. 

 

some people shout me asshole's German version sometimes. i remember that asshole shoutings from Istanbul stalk incidents. some psycho would shout repeatedly asshole word in street when i am walking to shop or just going to cinema, then i wouldnt care and say in my mind ok there this psycho stalks and likes to curse a maniac. but then 1 year later i understood those psychos stalk/slander me as bitch/mafia. and people heres also took on that harrasment/ they slanedered me to peop,le here also that for instance, in today's stalk slander incident someone shouted me aschlock like i dont know how its written but it means asshole i heard from people such curse. and they also continue to slander defamate me as bitch/mafia whilst i am at least 160 iqqued engineer coder that would have nothing to do such topics in life ever nor would ever be interested to. 

but this repeatedly happent. this character assasination never endingly happent and they did defamated me to here also and people shout things that would be shouted to bitches/mafias here when i were biking to work before many times Turkish shoutings happent like that. now recently i observe also been defamated to German community here. 

so in summary, this were felt like i dont know felt very hard. to be defamated, to be shouted curses that would be shouted to that defamation type, it were totally devastatingly horrific but now i am feeling lesser trauma or impu;lse trauma at momentarily when stalk/slander/curse happens. but then trauma feeling passes in shorter period.  before it would take at least 3 days or more to have the shocking trauma feeling reduce/get lesser every stalk/slander incident.

 

in today's going to outside, 2 curses slanderings happent,   first one is whilst going to photo boot to take biometric photo, second is whilst returning i crossed street and then slander curse happent :S 

anyway but before i would enter huge level trauma now the trauma is lesser.

where San Bernardione came from. i checked where LA covers in CA and i saw thats the only place from CA where LA UCSIS office covers.

i have noone in USA so i dont know where to go. Seems as LA seems as a touristic city  that i saw some regferences of then i said lets go to here and there is also ocean beaches etc, then i checked its coverabge for California, then i saw San Bernandinoe is covered there.  i dont know where i should apply to. seemed as CA seems as nice idea to try to immigrate to other states must be also cool but since SV is in California. so i thought lets try immigrating to California state. and from California i saw UCSIS covers only one city there which is San Bernandino. so San Bernandinoe came up like this. actually i also saw these cities references from some page and I saw San Bernandinoe there also. and its the only city covered in LA office in scope of California as far as i checked.

 

I were also very interested to San Diego honestly actually mostly interestefd to there:)

but its not covered in LA UCSIS office. 

 

I saw San Diego images and said wov this looks very cool place and i want to immigrate to here if possible even if other places are also very cool also.   then i checked to learn the UCSIS office is actually in LA. then i checked LA covers San Bernardino so i said ok then let it be San Bernardinoe where i would try immigrating to. 

I dont any know cities of USA. they look very cool but i randomly chosen San Diego as seeing its reference images somewhere.  but i really liked among the cities i saw, i liked San Diego alot :) since looks very very sunny city. but then happent like this.

before i were thinking UCSIS offices happens in also cities like San Diego and i were checking motels from San Diego or airbnbs. then later saw its only in big city centers like LA. so i changed the travel visit to LA instead. 

i dont know honestly which UCSIS to apply to. if i could get VISA.  hmm i think LA cause i already booked motel/booked flight.

 

 

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i would detail all these stalk/slandering /character assasination topics to the consulate interview if i get interview chance to USA VISA application.

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yayyy  I saw England surely i would also apply to :) yayy :)

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 one topic i dont know if i mentioned: 

the stalkers stalking slandering in various times also shouting things like "do kill yourself "(along with slander) like sentences in stalk/slandering incidents :S its like a people set stalking that is really trying to murder person they stalk with character assasination. but nevertheless i reject being victim to character assasination/sociopathy/slander/defamation and i wont nor would never enter to depression due to this. i might had entered trauma /ptsd but never depression. and would never ever enter to depression. cause i have hope i would survive from this character assasination some day in sometime.

 cause noone can slander anyone. soon sometime either later nor earlier, truths would come out and conquer over lies.  i mean noone could destroy anyone with slandering.

and i never lost hope nor would never.

 

(hmm perks of being at least  160 iqqued (in creativity) engineer.( whom could finish sat 45 min earlier with 1 or 2 mistakes only:P not that intelglnt like neurotypical intellgnt i am. i am kind of autist type of intellgnt so i might look stupid in lots of neurotypical intellgnce areas. but might have differnt intellgnce skills like i dont know unbounded creativity alike etc. etc. the qm project's and new measure spaces building ideas that popped up when studying.  i am to restate not highly intellgnt in neurotypical fashion. i mean i dont have huge runtime memory or such alike areas. but my topic is just about creativity i think. i mean if i ever call myself intellgnt i mean jsut creativity nothing other areas of intellgnce named topic.  )   ---> cause why:

i gradually try to build quantum level tech as mentioned. and it would have been awesome to find a safe place awhile where this sociopathy of the stalkers ends that they can not stalk/slander/harrass me anymore.  )  (these qm project takes some time and recently i thought lets fix this via, and find a place where stasi cant stalk me/slander/harrass me)

cause along nonobservant type of eyes there happens seeing all eyes that sees truths instead of lies/slanders. so i know someday, i would reach out to my previous happy life condition again without scaring of going outside. of confronting slanders/lies/stalk. 

yayyyy first application chance, USA/ LA UCSIS office if i could get  VISA to. i think USA would be alot very safe against the stasi (like also other countries i mentioned.  I think all those countries look very safe against stasi and USA looks very safe).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and i am not survived yet.