hmm today passed with searching flats in Bonn.

hmm i decided i stay at temporary city apartment like place until i rent a flat for long term. cause it were impossible to rent a nontemporary flat in one day, i just couldnt arrange. spent maybe 5 hours to searching flats, some flats i very liked are available on February. so I decided i stay temporarily on a city apartment concept then later rent a flat. i think 1 day is too short period to find a flat. ok i could have found, but better spend more time to checkign flats.

yayy its very exciting i am starting work life again on Wednesday.

hmm city apartment like place i rented has sports facility i wish i do sports.

yayyy my flat like place is not far from Rhine river :) 

i wonder Bonn city alot. feeling exhilarated for this week as i reinit worklife again :)

hmm have been on holiday for 3 months. company said i ddnt had to study last 3 months. hmm i stayed 1 month on Italy on Rome, other month on Marina di Bibonna, and last month in Hannover. 

I feel very happy for this month :) that i found a very cool job, hmm maths grammar project iterated alot, hmm last night i went over some theorems about stabilizer groups/conjugation actions/orbits of sets/actions on sets but still would revise. i hadnt even came up to Galois theory and automorphisms yet, hmm there were chapters i hadnt studied in abstract algebra before and now investing still time for those, hmm for instance Galois theory. or such chapters about group structure etc etc. hmm so couldnt init the topology study continuation but its ok. 

i been last 5 or 6 hours searching flats. but then i decided lets not rent a flat for long period since its not reasonable/logical to find a flat in one day. i would search in a month instead. 

tomorrow passes with going to Bonn, relocating my cloths to boards. hmm then yayy that city apt has also a room of gym so i could do some running exercise there then. yuppp. maybe i stay there until i lose weiight :) 

hmm i am confused if i carry my monitor. 

my laptop is slow.

mayube i buy a faster laptop when i go there. for personal laptop. and my laptop's screen one part connection to mother board flipped, so i dont what to do. whether if i should carry it or throw and buy a new faster laptop. that laptop is jhust for internet and unusable for any other topic since its processor is slow. so i got confused on what to do. maybe i wont carry laptop or i might. i thuink i might buy myself a faster laptop and not buy any monitors to carry. i might also throw away clothes that would be heavy to carry. ok. 

so if you wonder what this guh on holiday were doing on today, it were searching flats to rent then i decided its better to rent a flat later not just in a single day. 

 

i been on holiday and it felt very good to be on holiday last 3 months. it were that i were told i neednt come to work on last 3 months. 

i think i rested very much. it has been 3 months non worklife. :)

 

 and feel very energetic to start at new work place. :)

i am quite also content with the projects status :) . of how much maths i studied. hmm still at abstract algebra but little bit abstract algebra study left and then topology then reiniting the grammar study again. 

 

i still not content with some isomorphism/homomorphism's understandings about those commutative diagrams of some of them in groups structure related chapters.

i think i might print out books or buy books on this topics. hmm i want my algebra to be quantum computers compatible as mentioned. its visible now its not a mystery how to do accomplish that. but i am still not trained on those diagrams nor not any good in group structures topics.   i dont feel i can skip those chapters. i think abstract algebra's those chapters that i before skipped in studying is now very crucial chapters for this project. 

so now the mystery of how to ibnd the quantum algebra to this grammar is solved. but it would still be a wrong grammar if i dont learn these abstractions about groups well. and i have to admit i dont know well. i always skipped these last chapters before. i shouldnt now. i need to be very proficient in those diagrams and those all group structure related theories and i wish to also become more proficient in lattices like and euclidean groups wise topics. i dont think i have hurry to finish grammar in advance so i think i can spare more time to get such expertise. 

but even without those knowledge i think a noncomplete grammar coyuld have been designed since i think i now have a possible design optionalities for to integrate quantum algebra to the grammar. but yet still, i think its best to finish e xpertise gaining period first and there is no rush. i think every day week day i can spare 1 hour to these studies. to maths studies and on weekends also to the grammar project. on weekdays i cabn spare also 2 or 3 hours to proficiency skills in my profession of data engineering like revising scala. which i would do tomorrow i think.and other data engineering concerns also would stuydy on weekdays to follow up my professions skills level/technologies/toolings.

 

 hmm, i somehow rushed to finish at least grammar before holiday ends. this 3 months i spared to most of maybe 70% of holiday to project studies. but it felt a lot resting also. since were full holiday and i also traveled seaside/swam on November were fun to swam on November :) in very last swimming it were colder. that i fetl as if its more hot than usual when i get out of cold water. so i guess it were mildly cold. anyway. swimming on November :) i liked this :) so walked on shores swam, rested/studied to maths. hmm i think holiday passed like this :)

i really missed shore type holiday so it really felt very good to sit on sands beside shore. collect sea stones etc. i carry those as memories from holiday. yupp it werent just slight holiday, were 3 months holiday :D i really felt very rested/studied to maths//so it were one very good holiday i think. i would remember those sitting on shore moments. or walking on banks of trees on shore. sitting watching sea etc etc :)

 

it were a very nice holiday i think i wish to say when it ends very soon :)

i think those sea stones would carry to memories of watching sea sitting on bank of trees beside shore or walking on banks to try to find balance not fall from bank it were all very fun:) or walking just beside the shore on sands. just  i had missed sea side concept alot. it felt very good. those sea stones(pebble stones  shoreline) on my packet 4 of them to remember holiday/watching sea sitting on banks, wind of autumn etc, i collected sea stones, would remember those moments of sitting on shore, resting moments :) maybe i create some accessory with them, i collected colorful sea stones. not big so it would be utilizable to make necklaces. not much i think i have just 10 or such seastones. colorful, some are green, some are mixture of patterns, some are just usual gray white colored pebble, some are brown, there were a brown stone type(in clay color) i never seen before&is cool, so i collected that also, that also looks interesting.  so those are memories and photos i taken. i might create a necklace from those stones i think :) endless sand shores it were walking in endless shores. collecting seastones etc. were very fun :)

so feel very very very rested :D i mean 3 months holiday. it were really long holiday :) and i very very very rested i think.

hmm new flat for month is beside near to Rhine river  so i guess i would walk beside sometimes there this time or bike. i dont know. though i think it snows in Bonn in winter? yayy cool. ok then biking is off  i think or muigt use with winter gears. ok.  (this guh likes snow alot :) )

aha i hadnt swam on November :D i confused months. i swam on October :) ok. but before once, i swam on November, so i confused if it were like November again. nope it were October. silly i :D i swam on November on a more southern latitude before, but hmm so confused it, it were October this time. but ends of October were like, sea were really getting mildly cold. like outside feeling very hot when partially in sea due to thermostat of self i mean i expect that sea were mild level cold to have felt like that. i think it were end of october or mid of by then. or such time. i think it would have been impossible to swim on november or might be possible on sunny days i dont know . anyway. 

but more than that, i liked most sitting on banks, walking on shore, i think i liked it more than swimming. i hadnt swam alot. but loved sitting on shore, on sometimes windy days, walking on banks of trees to set up balance to walk,  walking inside pine trees to reach to shore. i think not the swimming part (since it were october and it were getting mildy cold) but i most liked the endless sand shores, collecting sea stones walking beside sea part of holiday. and i think for swimming side, i liked the most Cala de Leon beach, it were like every pebble stone were visible on that shore, it were a not very populated shore since its not easy to walk, you have to do soime mountain climbing to descent down to shore there, or reverse direction when getting back to home, it were the most awesome sea side of holiday, cause water were very clear since it were oebble stobnes all and all of them were viisble since it werent sand, sea were very clear that all pebble stones were visible. anyway.  i think it would be nice place to do scuba diving if i knbew scuba diving. or snorkel diving. anyway. so but i think best resting moments were among this 3 months hjoliday were, walking on banks of trees, trying to setup my balance whilst walking on banks of trees :) walking on shore/collecting pebble stones and endless shores of sand. that it doesnt finish with walking its just like endless sand shores. 

never had an autumn holiday like this and were amazing autumn holiday.

this month i were in Hannover, and its a cool city, but i were very focused to maths study this month so couldnt travel alot.  but city's autumn scapes looks very cool. all colored autumn leaves of pastoral looks with architecture of different styles, looks very cool with rivers. so i dont know alot of Hannover but autumn here looks very cool surely of places i seen yet. of colored trees/rivers all everywhere, architectural styles, looks cool.

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hmm so it were amazing long period holiday. i feel so much rested as expected from such a long period of holiday :)

yayyy tomorrow Bonn journey starts :)

this holiday resting felt very good at this time of my life i think. 

 

hmm, so work life starts again on wednesday :)  after 3 months of resting.

ok i need to stop writing blog and start packaging my luggages.

ok next holiday is snowboarding learning holiday it would be(i mean weekend holidays by holiday from now on, i think i have had enough holiday for a lot while :) i mean by holiday now, just weekends from now on for a lot while, i really dont need any long period holiday like week holiday for alot while i think:) ) . but for that, i need to get a driving license and buy a car with momdad's help ormyself. or i could rent a car for holiday either e.g. i wish to go to snowcenter on weekends,  

but learning snowboardcing is not easy craft. i might not be able to learn. i dont know if i would be able to learn. even carrying snowboard is hard so i might do some muscle sports at gym room also since carrying snowboard needs muscles. my snowboard last time i tried to learn myself were very heavy to my muscles. i think i would alswo do muscles training to get fit to be able to do snowboard if i learn snowboarding. even carrying snowboarding in snowboarding sports is a challenge. its really heavy. or my snowboard were like that. maybe there are lighter versions. it were really very heavy. if you are novice snowboarder, you dont have to carry it much either, but since iw ere trying to learn myself, i had to carry alot, so i guess it felt like that due to that. i guess novice snowboarders dont need to carry their snowboards alot since they just snowboiard instead of carrying it. i can carry it but it becomes very tiresome to carry over and over again to a path i set to learn snowboarding, i have to go back to init place of path to retry the snowboarding learning acitivity many times, so this is why i thought it were tiresome to carry it. its just because i dont know snowboarding yet. next time i would try to get course from teacher instead of trying to learn myself. it didnt worked out. i couldnt learn.. i spent maybe 3 hours  or 4 hours or such autodidactive period of mainly snowboard carrying many times to retry snowboarding at a path and couldnt learn. 

 

ok so this months work unrelated goals: since the flat i rented has gymn room, lets lose weight 4 kgs, and maybe i stay 1 month more here and lose another 4 kgs, then also do start driving license so that i could drive to skiing place.  hmm i might drive to Berlin to get my skiing winter coat/pants from locker room and maths books. hmm so first task is getting driving license which would life easier so that i dont have to use public transport when i travel i prefer more actually driving car instead most time usually if its not very distant(not more than half day or  quarter of day distant). of cours ei dont prefer driving to distant places. ok i need to register to driving license course asap i think. cause i just have plans of going on weekends to snowboarding courses. some weekends not all but in vicinity skiing places i meant. 

 

i am literally fat. its so blessing that flat i move to has gym room. i would definitely use alot. ok i prescribe 1 hour sports everyday to myself(on evening). i think its mandatory. cause i am literally fat. and i have in family diabetes/heart illnesses so better lose weight. 

before i wouldnt call myself fat but right now i amd definitely very fat. near to obesite level maybe even. or maybe even at border of obesite i dont know. so its blessing that city apartment has gym room. every evening i prescribe at least 1 hour sports. half hour running, half hour other sport types.

ok lets run every evening.  or before day starts like 6 am to 7am  or both. i think i need to urgently lose weight since i am near to obesite level. or might passed that obesite threshold even. i think i might had. i never had a belly like this. i think i might be even an obesite level fat right now. never been this much fat. lets do alot sports everyday in the gym room. 

ok next 3 months agenda is:

performing very good at workplace, learnign to more data engineering skills.

hmm losing weight and become nonobese type since i definitely would gain heart illness or diabetes if i continue to be fat (since lots of diabetes/such stuff in family)

finishing the grammar in following month. no rush.t hen continueing the nlp linguistics study in the iother month and having the coder ai ready afterwards.

hm i think i might not rent a flat and stay in this city apartment (which is 24m2 but full of every  requkirement like study desk etc as i live as a single person, i just fit to such place also cause i live single)  since it has gym room i might continue staying there.

i think best for me is to stay in a place with near gym. cause i am obese or on border of being obese. i think i might already had became obese i dont know. 

or when if i have car driving license i could go to other gyms. ok then i think urgent requrieent is getting driving license. so that i can rent a flat thats liek a flat not city apartment like, but also could go to gym anytime i wanted with a car i would buy etc, 

i also saw some flats i really liked alot, it has gym very near, but its not available until february,  so i might rent that flat on february or march, its 60m2 or such flats and very newly decorated and not that expensive and in southern Bonn so its not distant to workplace also. if that flat were available, i would had rented that. i missed it. there were available ones and but some hour later it werent availbel anymore. so someone else rented i guess. its very newly decorated flats but liek 2 rooms or alike. i liekd them i think i can make a sculpting or painting room in one room if i have a 2 room flat. i am kind of sad for not being prompt and missing chance to rent those flat. it were avfialbe on before noon then it became rented. it has a gym in vicinity also like in front of home or very short walkign distance. it would have been awesome if i rented there but i missed that. anyway. new flat is also cool. but its city apartment type (24m2) and so temporary. though i also fit to such flat configuration since i live single. anyway its very blessing that there has a gym room. i need to overload doing sports. 

so i planned to make the grammar ready by this time. but it didnt finished. i targeted to finish this time btu it hadnt.

coming back to stalk slandering topics, in other words genocide intentionality of an unknown cult in istanbul: i have no issues of finding what happent to me as genocide cause its genocide. they try to destreoy living right of people with defamation and harrasment with defamation. of slander types. i think its a cult that tries to do genocide (defamation/assasination of character) to other races/religions. i dont think country has any relatedness. but i think this is genocide, when people harrass you with defamation and try to steal your life from you with defamation. its genocide because it happent to other same religions before. so its this cult (unrelated to country) (maniac cults exists everywhere) is dedicatedly trying to do genocide to ours religion rooteds. so whomever helping them is helping genocide of atheist people that are alevi rooted. country has none relatedness to this. its cults/communities/groups with genocide intents to other religions/races. it started in istanbul and neverendingly happens. when people try to steal your life with slandering you, it is genocide. like being torted with things you are not any, i think that type of acts counts as genocide.  Turkey has none relatedness. i think its a cult in istanbul. or group community in istanbul that does genocide level hatred crimes. but unrelated to Turkey. but i think they have people everywhere in world.

but holiday has also healed the genocide i confronted. i really tried to be destroyed. but now feel more stronger against genocide. i mean of an unknown istanbul cult. its unrelated to Turkey. its istanbul is 20 million people its like country. so everywhere maniac cults communities exists that does hatred crimes its not specific to istanbul. but this genocide intentionality having cult/community. with constant tort of defamation/sladnering. i think this is genocide of atheists. of trying to steal their lives from them with defamation, is no different than genocide to atheists.

stalk slandering incidents still happens. cause this cult/group whomever they are, seemingly have lots of people everywhere. but nevertheless i healed from trauma of confronting something that were is like genocide by a cult not done by a country either. i dont care now when another stalk slandeirng incident happoens.

btu when i said world is not safe to atheist, my words werent any empty words. i observed we confront genocide for real. they try to tort we atheists with defamation they try to steal our lives with doing defamation. not any country. but there happens cults whom hates alevi rooted atheists and they really do something that counts up to not any less than genocide acts. they try to steal our lives from us with defamation/slandering with lies/constant stalk slandering propaganda effort with defamation. so its really another form of genocide. but not done by countries any. ubt its like in urbanization of mega cities, there happens issues i think like maniac communities or cults whichso ever, everyt mega city has such issues. and they do acts which are no different than genocide. they try to do tort people with defamation. and they try to steal people's lives from them with defamation. its none differnet than genocide. only they dont kill our lives but they do anything resembling to killing our lives actually i mean its another form of genocide. 

 

this planet is not safe to atheists. there happens maniacs whom tries to exterminate athesits with defamation/slandering. its genocide.  not killing atheists they do, but they just do tort with slandering defamation. and try to do propaganda of slandering. its like genocide. when you slandered persistently, its genocide i think. 

so but its unrelated to Turkey either. but istanbul is 20 milluion city. i wonder which maniac cult/community is that that does this genocide to me. it must be some community that hates atheists or alevi rooted atheists. or dissents that does nothing bad. but culturally different people? like atheists? that we do nothing bad. but they try to steal our lives from us with defamation.

its unrelated to Turkey,. its a community or cult that tries to do genocide to atheists or alevi rooted atheists whomever this community or cult is. they allegedly slander people to try to destroy lives of with persistent propaganda beside. and this cult whomever they are, have people everywhere.

this is has been were genocide. but not by any countyr. by an unknown istanbul community/cult i dont know whom they are. it happent repeatedly and tnhey still try.

but to restate its not any related to Turkey any.

so had it stopped? nope. but the difference is that, i am nbto any ptsd anymore. and feel much stronger to have cvonfronted genocide. (its not done by Turkey or any country. just a cult or such stuff i think)

so i healed of trauma of confronting genocide intentionality of a cult or such. it still happens but at least i dont enter to ptsd or trauma when another stalk slandering incident happens. 

 

urbanization is a very severe issue of mega cities. maniac cults/groups emerges that behaves maniac. or maybe its unrelated to urbanization of mega city sides. or maybe its just it happens, in world everywhere sometimes maniac cults groups happens/emerges. its just like that. i mean its not bound to any geography nor any country either. 

so i feel innerwise healed of the genocide that happent to me. (it werent any done by Turkey either(not related to Turkey). but an istanbul cult or alike did/does still).  i feel healed of having had confronted genocide. it still persists. stalk slandering incidents defamation incidents still happen but i dont enter to trauma like i used to before. 

 i have very cool life goals as mentioned and dont any care the stalk slandering incidents whenever happens. 

so holiday also felt good to 5 years happening genocide to me. i feel healed of trauma of having confronted genocide. of persistent confrontation of propaganda/defamation/sladnering/harrasments of stalk/slanderings. 

 

so i feel i healked of having confronted genocide for 5 years. of persistent propaganda of defamation/slanderings/defamation after 3 months of holiday endless beach walks.

it werent any Turkey that did this to me. but an unknown istanbul cult or such.  it started in istanbul. they persistently tried to defamate endlessly last 5 years tried to persistnetly do propaganda of defamation with very socioapthic advanced propaganda ways. 

 

so, i feel very awesome/amazing.  i got healed of having confronted genocide by an unknown istanbul cult, it still hapepns sometimes stalk slandeirng incidentrs still happens, but i really got over trauma of. 

 

after 3 months holidya, all wounds of that trauma inside my heart has healed. 

 

i have my vocide recorder to collect incidents of genocide intentionality having defamation. (sicne it happens a tort of defamation for last 5 years and propaganda advanced forms of propaganda i observed of various types with defamation, i think its genocide. i mean anytghing with propaganda advanced forms of propaganda with defamation, i think is genocide. i mean if any group or cult or any such entityt, tries to destroy harm lives of others with propagandas of defamation of advanced persistent propaganda efforts, its somethign not different than genocide. its when advancved war tactics like propaganda of defamaiton is used to individuals of other races or religions, it is genocide. )  

so i have my voicde recorder open. but its batteries were finished.bought new. i would not carry it to workplace. but would keep it open when i go outside to shopping etc. 

cause this istanbul cult also stalks slanders here. i would sue this genocide that happent to me to human rights courts when i collect evidence of. when propaganda with defamation happens to individuals that just lives their lives with doing no bad stuff, when tort of harrasment to individuals of other races religions happens with defamation with advancved forms of defamation propaganda, its genocide. 

before i were frozen in feeling of trauma of having confronting persistent genocide of an unknown istanbul cult. 

now i got over trauma. and i have my voice recorder and would sue the genocide that happent to me when i have recorded evidence of voice recordings of harrasment slandering incidents.  this istanbul cult also has many people here like everywhere. stalk slandering happent everywhere. it happent in everywhere i been last 5 years. everycountry i been. this istanbul cult has people everywhere really. its really a huge cult visibly whomever they are this maniacs are that tries to do genocide to atheists with advanced propaganda methods you should have seen their advanced sociopathic propaganda methods that 3 years ago for instance. its a cult that is very well using propaganda quite well in defamation, they do very advanced propaganda, very sociopathic propaganda with defamation. its been happening everywhere i been. happent very rarely that didnt happent when in some place. everywhere happent. this istanbul cult has members or people every where in every country visibly. whomever they are. i would record every single stalk slandering icnidents that happent last 5 years to human rights lawyer i wish to find either in Bonn or near cities.  to report a hidden genocide actually not hiddne i already blogged every time any stalk slandering harrasment. i think propaganda with advanced defamation sociopathies, with advanced propaganda done by cults is genocide. even if not done by countries any. i think maniac types of cults does genocides. you would understand why its genocide like if it happent to you. cause they would try to defamate you to harm your life to make it unlivable or steal it from you with advanced forms of propagandas of defamation. its no different than genocide. and so i wish to sue unider acts of genocide like law systems this genocide thing that happent to me for 5 years. whomever this istanbul cult is, they have people everywwhere every country i thnk that attends perpetuation of genocide of stalk slandering harrasments.  anyway i am just in phase of collecting evidence in that. hmm voice recorder's batteries has finished i bought new ones. i wish to sue this unknown istanbul cult that intents to do genocide to me last 5 years. (its unrelated to Turkey or any other countries). soon after i collect evidence yupp. 

 

this holiday were like, i healed of this trauma also.  it felt both as i rested very alot/much. and also healed of traumas that i mentioned. 

yayyy this year going to be awesome. i found a  very cool job. would live beside Rhine river for some period(then would later rent a flat instead of a city apartmnt) which looks cool. looks snowy place, i like snow. i cant stop liking cold weather i dont know why. ok i also like seaside. but i have like for cold weather. not rainy but snowy cold weather i mean. i like snow alot i think or grey air color in a snowy region. i dont know if it snows in Bonn alot or not. but saw some pictures with alot snow which looks very cool. i already started dreaming of walking by Rhine when there is snow :) looks very cool. i like that snow coindition of air with grey air color alot. hmm walking beside river also looks very cool.

i like also seaside but just only in holidays.  i think i like the most seaosns of autumn and winter. and snow also alot. and autumn either.

 

hmm so goals: getting driver liecense so i could learn snowboarding on weekends.  i dont know if i would be able to learn. 

 

 

 

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yayyy luggages preparation time.

i decided i dont leave neither laptop nor monitor. i liked this monitor alot(i bought it from sales for 70 euros but its visual quality is very cool). i would carry it in luggage.  and beside i dont know if i want to buy a laptop right now. i dont think so. i can make this one be repaired. i can later months buy a laptop later. i think this dekstop pc would suffice still. cause i dont want to spend  money to laptop this month. maybe later months. 

yayy luggage preparation time. then would have some hours sleep then would wake early. might fell asleep later on travel path instead. 

yayyy so lets take this monitor and pc(its a box pc type intel i5 woith alot memory) to luggage. yupp. i decided i do carry this nice monitor. since i liked it. 

yuppp luggage prep time.

 

 

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