one thing i never understand, sometimes some sound happens in glasses of room when i before burp.
i just wondered if i created a reaction to that that whenever a sound like heat difference related sound/crack in glass happens in my room that i later burp? or is it correlated?
i still have no idea. its like sounds creates the glasses environments i walk through hmm not frequently but just before the deoxygenation moment of apnea illness due to stomach illness that is soon to be fixed.
its like if someone touched the glass with their nail to the glass or heat difference material sound a very slight alteration like sound stuff happens.
i dont know if i created a post reaction to that topic, that unknowingly i burp when hearing such sound? or it coincides with my burping? it just repeatedly happens many times.
anyway soon this illness would be fixed as i took medicine to heal later. yupp. i mean the apnea effect of stomach issue (maybe bacteria/pylori) of an instant lesser deoxygenated moment.
it could be just unrelated correlation or some how i subliminally conditioned myself to burp whenever i hear such sound unknowingly on conscious side?
its just i really wonder if i really have some wave effect when deoxygenation happens. but wave is expected to be to every direction right? but it could maybe some red shift effect having wave.
what the heck this is i dont know. but i am very happy it would soon end :)
after soon my stomach gets fixed.
it were really weird, like i were walking in a glass hall and glass sound happent and i burped afterwards.
it might be conditioning myself without even me knowing :D
i mean burping behavior be attached to hearing glass click sound. very possible to be just such topic.
i guess so it might be like that.
if not, its weirdo topic.
sometimes its not glass its the heating system in room that this sound comes like natural heating deheating click sounds i mean.
i think what is underlyingly happening is: i created a conditioning behavior that i burp when that heating deheating sound happens. and nothing like brain waves happening.
i think i created a subconscious conditioning for burping whenever such click sound happens.
i think its just heating deheating based click sound.
anyway soon this illness of stomach would be fixed, yayyy :)
so this weirdo topic would be gone away yayyyy :)
whom is interested to brain waves topics? me? definitely not.
even if i sometimes blog about this weirdo topics, i am literally not interested to do so. its just i usually liek to blog sometimes weird topics and only due to that i blog this burping related correlated topic.
other else i am wishing tihs weirdity goes away very soon wishfully when after my stomach illness gets healed.
i am not interested to topics like brain waves. only reason i blog is i just observed such burping coincidence. but i thinkits just conditioning myself unknowingly to burp when that sound happens.
i think i created some post conditioning of burping behavior (from already sick stomach) whenever such click sound happens.
i dont know how i managed to build such brain connection but seems as like that, that i burp whenever such click sound happens, subconsciously happening stuff i think.
why would click sound impact me that much that i have stress respone with burping later i have no idea.
i dont think its any paranormal topic any.
i think its conditioning. subconscious conditioning unknowingly to burp when such heating deheating sounds happens like click sounds like if someone hit the glass with nail slightly.
usually stomach bloating creates heart burn symptoms in people, in my case it creates higher extent stuff like impacting entire circulation momentarily.
i guess it might be due to hernia and stomach illness. anyway soon to be fixed. i mean my stomach manages to create much more worse side effects i guess due to hernia and this illness (maybe pylori related i dont know)
but i think after fixing stomach illness, i would also visit heart doctor cause my vascular system might also be also not good functioning maybe maybe some thickening of vascular systems might had happent i dont know that also adds to this extended symptom that is like apnea momentarily.
i just never had this much load on my stomach before (weight) and i think that be also other reason. but i think main illness cause is something like pylori and weight and hernia all adding up.
i need to lose weight asap. and anyway wishfully soon stomach would be healed. so that this burping wouold be gone.
i strongly believe i did some conditioning behavior to this click (heating/deheating sounds) that when randomly happens in winter or end of winter or beginning of spring times. i mean in heat difference periods.
why would heating deheating sound would impact my underlying subconscious psychology this much i wonder to instantly create severe stress response like bloating high period/ burping?
maybe i have an extended level of neuroplasticity to create correlated neurons like tht. i dont know.
or maybe this is same in other people also that they create such weird behaviors?
i have fluid intelligence some level. but i never imagined it could create such subconscious conditioning connections like this.
its so weird.
i mean to condition myself to burp when heating/deheating click sound happens. i mean its something subconscious not controlled by conscious side.
ok i think this topic is just conditioning self unconsciously to burp whenever heating deheating sound happens.
its not any brain waves like weirdo topic.
its just am too sensitive to sounds being autist or it were something about alertness level maybe due to ptsd i had. and i just dont understand why such sound creates such stress response either. conscious thinking wise i cant find any reason why a heating deheating sound would create huge stress response like instant bloating/burping.
i dont burp when i get stressed either.
right now i burp for instance, but its due to sickness of stomach. and not any stress response.
it seems as my stomach again bloated alot. i burp alot right now again.
anyway soon to be healed.
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yayy job applications as mentioned i do had inited and hope i could init a new horizons as mentioned of topics i mentioned. i wouold continue job applications also on weekend.
and some maths study continueation. last weekend i couldnt study to maths but this weekend i wish to continue that study.
i feel too needing to rest and stop blogging again.
this conditioning of myself not knowingly to burp when such heating deheating sound comes is very funny:)
in bath it happent from lamp of fluoresence today that as you know sometimes such lamps creates some click or cranch noise then i again burped.
lets see when this conditioning of to burp ends.
it is just conditioning myself unknowingly to burp. but makes feels as myself as a freak who has brain waves that can interact with my direct surrounding but slightly but underlyingly what happens is not like that, its just conditioning that i somehow unconsciously burp show some severe stress reaction to such sounds of heating deheating related material behavior.
for a second i tend to believe i have freaky brain waves but for a second, i think its instead a sole conditioning unknown underlying scare related to such sounds i guess that instantly makes my stomach bloat/burp afterwards.
i still dont know why i show such subconscious unconscious fear reaction to such heating/deheating sounds that i burp afterwards.
initially i thought my brain sends waves when not getting enough oxygen due to apnea of stomach illness (Which would be fixed soon). but then i understood its much more plausible that this is psychologic i mean that i burp whenever heat difference based such sound happens, i mean just conditioning.
this time happent with that fluorescence lamp sound you know such lamps sometimes creates such sounds sometimes then i again gave that burp response, i dont any know why such sounds scare me unconsciously that instantly my stomach bloats and i burp later.
its like i check whenever such sound happens, i check if i burp or not and i even try to supress burping consciously but then again burping happens even 2 seconds or 2.5 seconds later.
it seems as subconsciously i give some fear response to that type sounds but i dont any know why.tjhat my stomach bloats instantaneously (maybe its already always bloated but gots bloated more) and i burp due to bloating.
this fear response i discover during stomach illness (as stomach is very sensitive organ) is very weird. i dont know even why i fear from such sounds. (heating/deheating type sounds)
i figure out such fear response even dont show itself to the conscious side usually until one's stomach is sick then stomach shows the fear response.
i had no idea i had fear subconscious unconscious fear to such sounds in environment until my stomach got sick.
we autist are more sensitive to sounds(some of us some autists are sensitive to sounds, eg. me). but i didnt know it created even fear response. and it happens in subconscious level. and turned it self visible when i had stomach illness which would be fixed very soon.
its the first time i discovered a subconsicous unconscious side fear response. to heating/deheating click like sounds in environment.
anyway soon happily this stomach illness would be gone and so that this weirdo fear response would be also gone. yayyyy :)
i have no idea why i fear from such heating/deheating sounds still.
but maybe autism related stuff. since our minds are more sensitive to sounds i mean. (or some of autists)
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its weird to have a very dense brain wtr to neurotypicals. since we dont go atrophy period, we are just even more sensitive to sounds even, everything is more dense, but it has both advantages and disadvantages. e.g. disadvantages could be as, worser communication skills soince we dont go atrophy period that brains doesnt shape itself to that neurotypical form of design to do behave like neurotypical, e.g. very good communication skills or sometimes other cognitive skills are slower with respect to neurotypicals in computation side. but we also have advantages in local processing. i mean like autist savants. or just more dense brain has both alot advantages and disadvantages to live in a neurotypical world. i think i like autism more wtr to being neurotypical condition.) i tend to like this more dense mind condition wtr to neurotypical condition in any case. i like having autism more wtr to neurotypical situaiton. i am i mean happy that i am instead autist instead of being neurotypical.
but i observed when i got sick very weird fear responses to even heating deheating sounds in environment. :) i discovered such an unknown fear response that i didnt know i had. look again happent. its weird. but happily it would be gone soon when stomach gets back to normal situation. stomach is like very sensitive organ actually and we dont know it until it gets sick. anyway it soon would be treated so that this weirdo topic would be gone of burping response to heating/deheating sounds in environment.
i meant stress and stomach directly interact. i mean stomach's sensitiviy is related to stress topic. its very sensitive to stress level. i mean when stomach is already sick. anynway soon it would be gone it would be fixed.
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soo,
weekend, yesterday night felt very stressful. since due to some mentioned family matters, also there is a huge stress cause of war topic in world which i think stresses everyone else very much. i mean humanitarian catastrophe all any war topics etc etc. its just a horrifying topic a horrifying war.
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unrelatedly: as usual:
hmm had again burping syndrome alot due to stomach illness.
today again in morning have burping syndrome but lesser. hmm anyway soon this burping stuff would be fixed.
hmm i many times i opent pictures of places i wanted to visit live in if i could find jobs.
as told i dream of finding a job in Shanghai or Nanjing or Tokyo or Kyoto or like cities.
one aspect of that topic:
i really love temple concept also very much:) and the architecture of temples either. and the Mandarin and Japanese alphabets also.
i also when had a chance to live in east, i had chance to discover cuisine of and its really amazing. lots of food types. some are not usual that i cant follow. but most i found very delicious foods like spicy and hot etc with lots of vegetables.
i also liked bazaars to travel bazaars and visit science/art museums also in my eastern period time.
i also very liked to travel to huge gardens with lots of pagodas.
i also very liked that singing songs related activity but i forgot about its title. i mean where you try to sing songs.
we even had one of our engineer colleagues birthday in a party in such huge singing songs place. it were awesome. they had huge places so that lots of people together could attend such singing songs activity. what were it called. we had our coder engineer colleagues birthday party in such place and it were crazy levels awesome. everyone became a singer :D hmm this is from 2010s or alike time i think.
what were that singing songs activity called. ah:S its so unnice i forgot its literal.
hmm most evenings on week nights we would dine (All we either soft. or test engineer colleagues) in a cafe that has billiard and we would also play billiard. it were awesome time :)
hmm if i could have a chance to live in east again. i would definitely go to such cafe/find similarly coder/engineer friends and play billiard together
yayyy guh's dreams in blog of moving to China/Japan :)
i think noone would miss me here either :) cause i have no fiancees or such family situation here.
i only have me and my luggage. which my things wont fit. i bought again lots of maths books that i try to finish studying. again wouldnt be carried some of them i guess. since are heavy.
i started applying to jobs last week as i had made such decisions last week after learning dad is cancer. i started even searching flats if i could find job last week. in China and Japan. lets see if i could find any job.
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for dad's cancer topic:
but i also saw that medicine science even is on brink of solving cancer and turning it to a chronic illness which is awesome/amazing maybe one most important inventions in all time. (i mean immunotheraphy drugs) its really amazing seems as i had a chance to read about.
i mean cancer illness is so cruel, like some cancers they give maximum 3 months life period now lives even more than 5 years, so this new inventions in such topics seems totally amazing as i had a chance to read//learn about as my dad became cancer. so immunotheraphy seems as changing life time statistics of many severe cancer situations. like people lost before now live with a chronic illness like situation. like if they turned cancer to chrnic illness i guess in following 4 5 years it would be all turned to a chronic illness and not any deadly disease anymore. which is amazing i think. wov i told whilst reading about immunotherapy. as cancer is very scary illness type. and chances of it being turned to a chronic illness type is amazing i think.
anyway.
so i started to dream of new life. aha i remembered that singing songs activity name. its karaoke :) its very popular in Eastern countries as far as i know. as told, we even had birthday of a software engineer friend party in karaoke place it were amazing:) (and very funny cause some people thouoght they have nice voices singing capability and they hadnt and singing loudly and it were very funny also :D i remembered this when talking about karaoke :))
i also really liked the huge bazaars inside city. where very rare creations like hand crafts are sold/souveneirs.
hmmone topic i also liked alot were the tea culture and very amazing tea types and biscuits beside also.
it were truly amazing time.
only topics you get to get used to is like breakfast concept were unusual. but there is huge shops you can buy usual breakfast types you are used to either. but meals were present in usual breakfast as i remember.
hmm so last week i started to start such life plans of moving to very east side of world. if i could ever find a job there.
it might take time to find a job if i could find. but i really wish to setup such life in Eastern very Eastern side of world as mentioned.
and one other aspect is about character assaisnation as mentioned in other blogs as detailed. anyway. lets not repeat that topic either. so i dream of such a life in very Eastern side of world now. and woould definitely tell about the character assaisntion topic also whislt applying to VISA.
as learnt about dad's cancer, i just started to think such ideas as i mentioned in other blogs. anyway.
i forgot to add, one topic i very liked most is just stumbling upon temples right walking in the city, like even you hadnt known about. and temple's architecture were very authentic.
ok if i could setup such life version it would be very awesome!
i would also go to Everest being on that part of the world then :)
but definitely not ambitious to climb Everest either. not that ambitious type personality i am and it seems more than i can handle challenging. but at least i could travel the base camp or places there.
but i wish i could become a mountaineer that i could go to mountains. but i dont find such strength inmyself. extensive heavy physical work to climb to mountain either is would overwhelm me. anyway. so just might visit base camp at most if i ever go to Everest :)
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ok new life dreams is like this. living in very eastern part of world.
traveling to Pagodas/Temples wov! :)
Pagodas were also amazing to travel/visit :) huge parks with pagodas i remember as:) were cool to travel visit.
and all those topics i mentioned also in above paragraphs. its just new dream of my life to try to setup a life in very very Eastern part of world :)
but all is dependent to being able to find a job there.
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for war in Ukraine:
i definitely stand with Ukraine and Ukraine's sovereignity.
and i totally think that war is horrific and very overwhelming to read about. i think its like that for everyone reading about.its horrific to see such catastrophe happens in world, that a country is tried to be destroyed, horrific/horrendous. of course and very surely definitely, of course, i also stand with Ukraine and i find their country tried to be destroyed very horrific topic.
and i think its great all world helps Ukrainian people cause imho its definitely the right thing to do. cause what happens there is horrific/horrendeous. a country allegedly tried to be destroyed its very terrific/its horrifying all of us that we follow. i find that topic very overwhelming to monitor. its very horrific.
it were great when there were no such wars. that we were focused on our lives insteafd of all monitoring a hard to monitor topic that horrendoues war.
i very miss 1 month ago when such war didnt existed. its been a terrifying month last month due to obsercving such horrific war topic. i guess its like that for everyone. i mean everyone observing that war is terrified horrified i guess like me.
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i just found everything overwhelming as a result.
like dad's being cancer. (last week's learnt)
or character assasination. (prolonged happening)
or my stomach illness with such side effects. (Some time have such illness and did laziness to go to doctor myself)
or observing a horrific war in world. (last month, made last month very horrific/terrific:S)
etc etc evertyhing feels very overwhelming recent month. specifically recent month.
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i found every topic very overhwlming so i decided to setup a life change like moving to very eastern side of world, traveling to pagodas/temples etc etc.
i think main reason being dad's cancer and all those reasons.
and all other reasons i stated either.
and i as told previously had super cool time in China so I decided to try to set up a life in China/Japan if ever i could, like migrating to there i mean if ever i could have such chances.
I also watched Japan's hiking traveling videos/temples and I think i also am very interested to try to move there like China. So i try out to find a job in China or Japan. then i would also try to migrate to.
i had such decisions as mentioned last week and even searched flats in Japan and China :) i mean if i could find job, like as if i had found, i searched flats to live.
i always like this, like searching flats to live in a city i want to live in to se e how much rent i would pay to a flat. or investigaign thtere in internet. e.g. life there etc etc.
so even started searching flats there. figured out rent costs in several cities. learnt about life there as reading in internet.
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