yep event ended alike 1 hour ago.

then has been until then tidying home (mopping etc) and mom were washing balcony. 

so event ended 1 hour ago or so. then 1 hour or more passed with tidying home. initially thought for 25 people or so attending social gathering event(and people taking some lahmacun/salads etc or  so then also helva tea alike thingie which helva prepared yesterday), gradually it became 30 people or so. so it were all such social event this late afternoon. (preparation/then event  itself then after event tidying home ) 

yep food for gathering were simply -> lahmacun from bakery + then onion salad + then some salad type +then some zahter salad + such drinks .  then afterwards at home prepared helva + tea. 

it were not tiresome since wtr to 1 year ago funeral events. since 1 year ago, this gathering were like constantly happening nearly every day or so for 10 days or so. :S 

so it had not felt very tiresome today since it were a single day event. not alike 10 days or so constant such gathering events alike funeral period 1 year ago.   

plus i had not worked alot this time actually. most other people did. i only worked in initially and tea. then but in consecutive guests other people helped tasks.

.

nice thing -> since home is already tidied -> I can study full time to ml algos project on wednesday. 

hmm so, my dad lovely dad wishfully knows this of we did such gathering for him today. yep.  miss you dad & we love you & miss you alot! 💕

( nevertheless lets not be overwhelmed with grief i talk in my mind, i would invent time machine and would provide cancer medicine tech from future (which could heal phase 4 cancer fully, yep he had phase 4 cancer,  had intiially healed in first curing, then recurred later and we lost him (he had fought to cancer for 2.5 years initially doctors did not gave hope only told 1 year at most to how much he might live on illness first detection,  then he lived 2.5 years upon initial doctors not very hopeful predictions about his illness situation (which doctors did not told him the severeity of (phase 4) but told to us)!  but we thought he would luckily wishfully again heal in recurrence of cancer but then we lost him unfortunately very unexpectedly very utter sadly :S) to past to save my dad in multiverse from cancer which we lost him to last year. ) 

nevertheless on critical care unit i dont know if he were conscious or not (since were intubated and one can not know if he were conscious or not in such case) I told i would invent time machien and would save him. i dont know if he heard me since were intubated. yep we were very shocked. his situation worsened very in short time. then for 15-20 days he stayed in critical care unit. and every day we would visit him and either one day my mom or my uncles or me to visit the critical unit time hour to chat with him/hug him alike. (although he is intubated and we dont even know if he hears us) It were very utter sad:S but sometimes he were giving reactions with eye brow in one of my mom's talk. and before last day we lost him my uncle has entered and uncle told he even opent his eyes that day. 

I find myself guilty in him coming to here. maybe if he stayed in istanbul maybe doctor there were much better. 

I wanted to come to iskenderun then but they also came even to my objection. maybe if he stayed there maybe since the hospital there he went is full cancer hospital and maybe his doctors would had seen metastasis before. i feel like some part of guitly his comoing to here. (since this is not a big city, although doctors also here are very talented. but there where he went in istanbul were full cancer hospital place)

its like he would had 12 chemotherapies (for repeated situation). in first 6 ones,  cancer retreated 20% alike) (since he could have tomography every 6 months or so i think) so we thought we would survive and heal and we hoped so. 

but i did not wanted to live in ferikoy. then i wanted to go to iskenderun and they insisted on coming with me:S maybe if they stayed there, maybe he were still with us.

I objected them to them stay there. but somehow they thought i can not handle this large home myself even tidying of. and insisted on coming with me. then he continued same chemotherapies here. 

then some how before second tomography check, it turned out cancer got worse and it were alike initially spread to also some inner regions in this second recurrence alike. and then turns out it spread to also liver alike.  then we lost him due to spread to liver thingy. which he had operation to open liver vessels and that initially succeeded alike they told btu then he became very ill 5 days later to that. so we lost him due to cancer metastasing to liver alike situation alike we predict as. even mr or tomography done on already worsened situation. its like his tomography were like scheduled to some time. but before that cancer spread aggressively visibly. so and spread to liver had actually were the thing that took him away from us.  

so doctor here said sometimes chemotherapy stops being effective against cancer's aggressiveness.  visibly such situation happent in recurrence situaiton.  we wanted to understand if there is any hope and also consulted cancer doctor when dad were in critical care unit, but he told seems as not very much. 

so it were unexpected most. we had no idea of things would got worse alike :S we thought he were healing. since in first 6 months it had reduced 20% alike.  and before he had survived and healed. so we thought we would manage it all together and he would heal and stay with us. we had no idea things would get worse and we would lose him. :S it were total very severe sad shock to us :S we thought he were healing:S turned out chemotherapy did not this time very much became succesful. its that if tomography could be done earlier that could been known before :S   but they usually cant do tomography frequently either. (it were done i think if i dont wrongly remember every 6 months or so) 

so it were phase 4 lung cancer. doctors did not give hope alot in the first time of detection of. (they said usually we think he might at most live 12 months or so).  but then here in iskenderun a doctor treated him and with lots of cures and even some postron cure (to tumors in lungs) his all cancer were gone. then but as told repeated 1  year later and then in that we lost him in the recurrence alike :S

in first treatment, they also tried intelligent medicine (new medicine types) but somehow it did not worked out in his cancer type so they continued to chemotherapy.  but then he were healed. fully. no cancer detected in tomography alike. but then it recurred unfortunately 1 year later alike. 

lets not overwhelmed with grief (I am talking like this in my mind) and lets study to projects to invent  time travel tech!   

(I did not mentioned warp project which is also to be invented. since not related to topic of this blog entry) 

technology related to topic of this blog entry is -> time travel tech! to invent in 2026!

yep lets not get lost with grief! as promised we would also develop time travel tech in 2026!

lets focus to projects and iterate projects to invent these engineering projects in 2026 with ml algos!