weird life

 in place i live, i would attend even if i have no talent modern dance classes. since hmm i really like music and i think i wont be able to learn but would try. since its another dream of mine thati couldnt accomplished yet. i cant do complex dances but modern dance seems from outside more doable.  maybe i am wrong. most possibly this would end up with me observing i cant learn. but lets try sometime :) hmm recent hobby dreams: bouldering learning. hmm it has nice calories spending chances. hmm also modern dance since looks very interesting to dance. most posibly i wont be able to learn any. but worth trying since looks interesting.  hmm i am pretty sure i wont be able to do complex movements but just basics if i could learn (i am pretty sure i wont be able to learn basics of many dance movements) if i could learn 1 or 2 stuff it would be great :) i am interested to modern dance where people do aesthethic caroegraphies/ movements. hmm but most possibly i wont be able to l...

 no more drinking, my silly brain resumed its normal operation level that can study even )  it makes my brain enter crying mood when i drink  and i couldnt study either :) no more drinking again :)

I walked by sea yayyy.  And I forbid my self drinking cause creates crying mood as I observed. 

 i didnt missed out the satirical hawkins lab stuff from readers:D as i told ground is alive analogy. no its not, its just blood is not flowing to my brain enough so my brain gots messed up when that stuff impacts my brain like circulation not bhappening enough.   but i know it looks like those fantastic skills like altering ground molecules? of that people made fun of Hawkins lab like psychic stuff? no its not anhy like that:D its just not enough oxygen entering my brain since due to circulation error related to stomach illness and stomach hernia and weight of bloating impacting my blood vessels anyway.    it were a funny reference :D i lauhged but no i am not a psychic that could move ground molecules. its just not enough oxygen flows my brain right that instant so my brain gets messed up and sometimes happens feels like my vision trembles. or like that i mentioned. :D   happens for a second. or 1.5 second. i know it could be interpreted as if other dimen...

Let's finish the prjct today even if it's too late since very less effort were left. I just cldnt study and cried alot. But I dnt hve sch crying mood usually drink moved to such crying mood. Anyway let's not drink then since has such making me enter crying mood. My under eyes are colored still were colored due to crying. Ok lets never drink cause it makes me enter crying moods. Ok. 

 i wish noone gets a stomach illness that makes brain unoxygenated.  its like its symptoms are messy. like 4 months ago symptoms were like image i see shatters right at that instant. hmm recent day;'s symptom when this impacts my brain, yesterday as mentioned it messed up sensation feeling of my sole of my foot. hmm happens for 1 or 2 seconds and burp happens and it passes   hmm this illness messes up my brain. i need to fix it. even for a second, it messes up.  what kind of weirdo stomach sickness i have to stop or impact my circulation for an instant.  anyway.  so its like for an instant my organs are under threat of deoxygeniation but very short period. like at most 2 seconds i think. its like i think 1.5 seconds. the doctor whom prescribed endoscopy chekced my heart with routine test and saw no issues with my heart. so its about load of stomach to vessels in that region i think.  i guess i would also check my vessels. maybe some situation exists in...

Ok stomach doesn't let sleep again tonight with excess burping. Yupp. Lets study then. I either watch a movie or study when this happens.  Ok lets study.