weird life

 ok 260 euros went away for nonsense due to missing train and having have to schedule an hotel at berlin for this night etc :D anyway, this month would be little bit tighter then. its ok. i can handle.  i left my lots of things in a storage space place. its like still even with that mu luggage is not any lightweight. but before it were very heavy weight (due to math books and due to everything of me inside luggages also winter clothes ) i figured out experienced a new situation in life like too heavy luggages, that one should always use storage space :D i thought i could manage it, but i lost the train in just 1 minute :D i saw when the doors closed :D somehow i couldnt go early but went 10 minutes earlier than trains time and the moving stair case were in repair so i had to go to escalator but it were little bir far and it were really hard to move those severely heavy luggaes. then anyway somehow i managed to go to train floor but i mised the train just with 1 minute:D  ...

 yayyy very exciting! i found a perfect airbnb staying place in a nice price:) very lucky i think i am :) ----   yayy Sistine Chapel and all other places surely would visit all of:) galleries/Vatican, Vatican museums/and other places i newly seen from tourism sites :)    hmm and lots of pizza time! since i also arranged private doctor check and i think with antibiotics pylori would be fixed then :) then i think i would be able to consume pizza  yayyy :) (currently i cant consume pizza, i can only eat vegan pizza but i also like other pizza types alot. and i love pizza so much but need to fix stomach cause i cant eat losts of other food types also. i can eat very limited selection of foods anyway. it would be fixed after antibiotics i think :) ) (here i hadnt went to pylori tests all because i were not searching how to do it. i could had done this before but it postponed until now) (anyway. soon it would be fixed) (i were thinking it were necessary to do gastrosc...

I m going to Rome and arranged staying place for 1 month.:)  And other month maybe Venetia or Rome again.:)  Today were very challenging day since would leave flat and have to throw all food in fridge  or cupboards or anythng I bought to flat etc. .  And also cleaning home/fridge/cupboards of food storage since I dnt wnt to leave unclean even if deposit includes cleaning cost. fridge were very unclean:S. Anyway.  Woke up 5am today and started day at 6am.  Anyway less work is left to leave flat at nice condition.   Yayyy Rome life starts soon these days:) yayyy:)

 ok i am confused.   cause there are lots of alternatives.   but the issue is how to travel. with this month's specific budget.     ah i wish i had a friend whom has a driving license here so that i could had rented a flat in Italy's Genoa' city that i really liked, its like 30 minutes to beach but very awesome.   but i needed to have a car/driving license for it. even if i rented then i wont be able to go to beach since its in a village.  i really liked but cant. anyway. i also liked Split.  trying to plan a holiday travel with limited budget is very challenging. if it were next month i would not be this limited.  but this month,  extra deposit, furniture moving all tightents my budget. anyway. i also liked a place in Marseilles.  i truly am confused.  i initially targeted a flat in Murcia. but going there seems very costly. with the luggage, i have of luggages i mean weight of is.    then i also checked Naples/...

 i have too much baggage. i have to go with train i think. and that changes where i go i cant go far places like Spain then.   i were trying to decide between Spain/Italy/Croatia.  i dont have to decide then :) cause i think flight would be extraordinary levels of expensive for me.   ok. hmm.  ok then i would go to so me place in Italy. yupp. since its at most half day like hours with train. ok. cool.  then next month, i would have more budget to this excess baggages of mine. and but yet next month i might go somewhere with car renting car then for that day. ok.  i really have very heavy luggages due to math books. ok.  then i am going to a city i never had chance to visit before.    

Ok lets travel. Cause I really missed sea side travel type.  And Its usually very expensive  (when covering entire month) but I found an affordable airbnb flats also in sea holiday place along wth expensive ones there. This month budget is little but tighter. But luckily due to airbnb could also had found flats I could stay along wth my budget. Other month I could stay in more expensive flat type I think. This month has lots of additional costs etc.  (Actually the flat I intend to rent also looks cool I think. )

I think let's not complicate(of asking 1 month more from landowner)  with lengthening the stay in flat whilst I want to travel and luggage are packed and go to some sea side place I think. Ok. Let's go to private gastroentolog/have test  there in travel place that is type of  a  not costly medical procedure. Ok.  Let's travel. I can afford it I think wth even medical bills. Ok. Cause I really need some change/some holiday. I really need traveling I think. Ok. And with these luggages made ready etc it seems even more tiresome to cancel traveling. And lets go to some private doctor and tackle illness alike. Anyway.   

 i am pretty feeling nervous that i needed to tell i am empath :P  i wanted to tell my empathy level with saying i cant even destroy a spider/bug in my room.but it felt quite nervous for to state this.    anyway:) i told this since i were thought of interested to psychic soldier like stuff? hmm i am really not suited for such stuff:S   in such topics i like only defense and or in such sectors, some topics like building defense in software to protect/for defense like careers.  but being a soldier is not appropriate for me since i really am not suited. i am phobic/i am empath/i am autist etc etc.   i felt uncomfortable for writing this.   cause i saw some unknown  people interacted whether i  could be a soldier of psychic type, i am really unsuited for such topics.  i am phobic/i am quite alot empath/ autist also. anyway. :)  i would be happy to help checking of psychic topics. but i am not a soldier. nor could be. thats' though ...

 hmm i think i would await 1 month since i read about breath test, i wanted to switch to stool test. hmm i think best is arranging 1 week holiday by sea side since i missed sea.  but focusiong on fixing stomach stuff asap. like going to private clinique on this week if could arrange.  i think going to holiday with current budget where i would also add some deposit to flat is unreasonably tight. cause i would need to also pay for doctor bills since i want to fastly solve. and i think its more logical to stay in flat even if i feel bored of this flat. cause its not suited period due to stomach sickness. i mean if were healthy i could still manage this period but thinking checking all, i think best is to stay in flat if could arrange, then arrange asap some nonbreath test based pylori test and start antibiotics treatment. then also later attend endoscopy.       ok. i think its best to get over this digital nomadism's fever for this month :) i know its fun...

Ok I think I really need traveling. So I stop caring stomach illness and fix it in Italy and be digital nomad ok. Since I think I really need traveling. In current mood of mine. Ok lets fix treat not here but there. Cause I really feel bored of current flat I live. Been too much inside flat. Ok this months budget won't be much. So finding home in a holiday place in Spain/Italy/France wnt be easy. But airbnb is amazing. I think I wld find. Cause I really am very bored of living in same flat inside for a lot while. Ok. Cool. I think I go to either Tuscany or Naples or Barcelona or Marseille or Split or Hamburg for next month. 

I m still confused about next month. Maybe I go to Italy😃 ok. Let's go to some place for instance Tuscany or Naples. With searching some more affordable rent from various expensive flats homes there.    Ok. Traveling time. Ok Mediterranean travel time😃  idea of traveling feels awesome . Ok I dnt cancel trading but just cancel tropical island plan. 

(Hey I can't even destroy a bug wth feeling sad to.) This emphath personality type has differnt form of arachnaphobia. I feel sad. Eg to spider wandering in flat. Anyway. Quite empath type I m. 

I think I have helicobacteria and breath test or such tests  would show it I think. So I think u would try to go to a private clinique to init antibiotics asap on earliest. Then I could also check later with gastroscopy appointment I think. Lets arrange. 

Ok I might try 1 week holiday this month at a holiday place in either Germany or other countries I mentioned. Or maybe less days. Cause I have urgent project. Maybe I go somewhere on weekend some weekend and a couple of days more. 

I figure out both economically and also health wise it's nt logical to become digital nomad this month. I think first I need to solve health issue.  That subtropical island also had good health facilities like everywhere but I canceled it due to dome reason related to its climate. It's bugs. I learnt huge bugs live in subtropical or tropical climates then I thought I am phobic to that also. I newly learnt this and then had to cancel since I m really phobic in that aspect very much. E.g. when a spider came to flat I couldn't even move away. Or I can't also kill. So I think I can't go to tropical places upon I learnt this info about that huge bugs can exist in tropical air.  I have severe levels arachnophobia. So I understood I can't visit places wth tropical climate.  Ok then let's do find a private clinique I actually found a public insurance on 8th I might get appointment to that if I cnt arrange private clinique. Ok.  I need to fix this illness before any ...

I might stay 1 month more in this flat (if I could) since that subtropical island plan canceled. Since I learnt about some topic related to such climate type anyway. And I think I would try to take endoscopy to earlier date wth going to private clinic.  I would try to arrange 1 month stay in this flat yupp. Maybe I wnt have chance(since I told I wld leave) but let's try.   I think I might travel to Italy later or Barcelona. But after I fix this stomach illness.  Ok. I cancel if possible this months plans of digital nomad life style. Ok.  I think then after stomach heals next month I can be digital nomad better. I couldn't sleep today  due to it. But I might go to holiday a week this month. Hmm maybe Italy. Maybe Spain. Maybe France. Maybw Croatia.  Ok. 

(Due to some reason (related to subtropical climate types' one topic) I switched to going to another place that is inland.) 

I hadnt read news for a lot while(at least 2 or 3 days) and saw very severely sad news from yesterday's news as I read newly news :S 😢 (...If I read this news I wldnt any cheer in blog for my silly holiday or new life style :S😟)(hadnt any read news yesterday or today until very recently... (in recent times I read news once a week or alike, so I m unaware of what's happnng in world until I read news😟 saw a very sad news from yesterday's news😢))

 wov! right now applied to a huge company from Berlin/Bonn that has remote chance also or Berlin/Bonn based locations.     ok cool! :)     one very happy day start i think i deem this day as since i see such very cool opportunity of remote work life in a very cool company:)    ---------------  ok i have interview on thursday. yayyy first job interview :) and really very good opportunity. so i need to perform the very best in first interview yupp. and others. ok it would be kind of very awesome if i find a remote job in that cool workplace. but lets see. not every application ever succeeds surely. but wishing good luck to myself in getting that job which also has remote working chance and also is a very cool workplace :) yayyy :)    so i could continue being a digital nomad if i win that job :) that i can live in many cities at the same time. one month one city:) and work in a very cool workplace. ok what kind of awesome life it is. ok....

hmm as i read the job i ddnt quite fit the career type of one job i received. :) (not talking about the job in Berlin or Bonn.  i liked that job in Berlin/Bonn alot. and applied to already :) ) ok. cool. then lets not apply to this one (which is a different career type not related to software) since doesnt look like a career type i would be talented in nor ever had experience of. and seems not fitting my skillset. ok lets not apply to this.      ------------ ok how life could be this much awesome.  holiday - - building ai thingy -- finding a job ---------------- i think my .life turns incredible levels of awesome :) since i have digital nomoad period fo a while. a holiday and both study period of digital nomad style life. then i might find also my job after digital nomadism.    then i might also find job for mid november. or december.   so i just cant find words to define the cheer level of my days recently.    :D yayyy soon holiday star...

 yayyy i might had found a remote job from Berlin or Bonn :) yayyy :) or might not found. letstry.     ok how else my life got this much awesome  i mean, a holiday, a job, building ai thingy :)     gosh this is the best period of my life.   since its a holiday. and also since its building ai thingy period.    and lets apply to this job asap :)    its from a huge company in Berlin or Bonn. i dont know exactly headquarters of. but its very huge company.    ok how else this life gets this much awesome i mean what else awesome could happen i wonder :) ok its unsure if i could get this job but lets apply asap. if i wont be found eligible, there are many months to apply to other jobs. ok cool. :) then if i could find such job, i would live next year as: 1 month Tokyo, 1 month LA, 1 month Bonn, 1 month Hamburg, 1 month Vancouver, 1 month Barcelona, 1 month Melbourne, 1 month Paris, 1 month Tuscany, 1 month London, 1 month New Del...

 its so exciting! i am packing my luggages:)   either 30th or 31th i leave.    ok :)   its very exciting to pack luggages. hmm lots of things to throw unfortunately since i cant carry beside. anyway that doesnt matter that much cause i could rebuy later.  wov:D 5 or 6 months digital nomadism time :) (beside job applications and beside building that intelligent thingy) yayyyy :D such exciting days:) these last days where i arrange my luggages to go to a holiday where i have both holiday and both study hard to build that intelligent thingy :) in less left days i am in a Spain island :) wov:)     woooooooooooooooov:D   -------------------- -------------------- -------------------- -------------------- --------------------   is it a dream or my life? my current mood be as. the time my life turned to very cool version of my life :)  from office life to a holiday plus digital nomadic version of my life :D ok i think even contract terminat...

(Maybe noone interacted wth me and I misunderstood. In that case this writings please be ignored🙂)

I lost my interest to psychic topics I m pretty sure you would also lose since it seems like statistical hiccups alike stuff. But if you have interest curiosity to this, I would be happy to help answer questions of yours curiosity to this topics. 😊 👍

(I lost my self interest to psychic topics but if you have interest, I would be happy to help your RV existence checking studies )  but personally I started to think such phenomena doesn't exist. Anyway.  But would be happy to help your curiosity if you are interested to. I would be happy to attend noninvasive psychic tests or RV session tries. But I dnt think exists. But if you want to check existence of RV,  I would be happy to attend. I think my personal opinion those topics are that statistical hiccups are type of  law of large numbers and don't exist and are misinterpretations.  anyway. But I would be happy to help to check queries of yours if you have👍

(Hey i saw something about psychics🔮 very newly. as mentioned I would be happy to answer questions or try to help that studies of existence of RV topics if ever I be communicated to👍 but I dnt know if such phenomena exists or not. ) (Maybe noone interacted wth me and I misunderstood. In that case this writings please be ignored🙂)

Hmm so it could create some apps with my help to fastly create apps. Cause really the idea of teaching it our coding styles seemed a very adhd creating idea. Let it be a noncollobrative coder that creates not ever to maintain product but who needs maintenance when it could regenerate from its internal crystallized structures by then. Hmm. The idea of teaching it our coding methods (in patterns wise or make it a perfect python or c coder) seemed very adhd creating idea to me I felt adhd to even if that stage hadn't came yet. So let it be not a collobration oriented ai and code the entire project on its own type of status I would design as after coming to that stage. Ok even the idea of making ai a perfect coder in golang or python or rust or cpp felt severely adhd creating sttn to me. Ok definitely won't be a collaboration oriented coder then.  

Actually auto generated code neednt be in our design patterns but since this ai would try to understand like ours understanding and collaborate to team work in a coding task, needs to align to how we code. Other else it could also code in its own design patterns not similar to ours. To make code it wrttn understandable by ours review, would code initially in our patterns. Since would get a job of freelancing or remote work. Needs to align. But normally it neednt code exactly like us. It could instead even code in cpu architecture based code and don't care of maintenance since could fastly regenerate. I mean there needs to be thought lots of such points. Hmm.  It feels more boring to teach it ours design patterns. And align its coding style to ours. Hmm. But let's see. That's a decision to be made very later not this month. It should be able to communicate and understand and learn then that becomes the decision point of whether this ai would ever team up with we human coders...

 turns out i need to study to topology a little bit more. not the entire sections of algebraic topology topic but up to some level. hmm i need to start preparing my luggage on tomorrow i think. hmm. i need to print some topology lecture notes. ok.  i think beside analytic/algebraic topology study for this layer,  in addition to this, i would need to build agebraic geometry layer to this single maths layer ok.  hmm. i think might hav e 2 maths layers. one for analytical geometry other for this layer i build.  hmm might need to set up some ontology RDF mappings maths versions also as would train with wikipedia later if possible. hmm.   hmm. in most coding tasks we dont do geometry based tasks alot, but for a fullstack coder, geometry understanding must be present. i mean in thecoder ai project.  hmm. more challenging part is semantics layer and its intentionality layer connections. hmm. i need to train bert including context handling, those bert architec...

    wov! i saw a quantum physics related programming job wov! i would write the very most perfect cover letter i could ever write :D last night i started to continue job applications. i paused for a while but would continue these days.  i think i like software engineering jobs alike microservices like jobs more wtr to data engineering jobs. so i also both apply to soft. engineering jobs.  but this programming for qm job is kind of: if my application gets liked, iut would be so awesome. cause i also inited a plan of  building a qm simulator before and studied to qm area but then paused simulator study since i wanted to buiuld an ai to help coding ease coding coding stuff of lots of klocs.  wov! i saw a qm related programming job like that. wov! ok would write a very perfect cover letter since it looks like a job i got severely interested! :) ok among other jobs i like most software engineering jobs i think and i think i dont like data engineering career that...

 yayyy :)

 yayyy :) i continue studying. today i could study finally:) i think i need to start arranging my luggages on saturday.    hmm i might leave on monday or tuesday i dont know. ok. yayyyy :) 

 i have dictionary installed on phone, sometimes i talk with my local non dictionary language with people on chat, and sometimes the dictionary without me noticing changes word to an irrelevant dictionary word:S i sometimes see and fix, but sometimes cant see and miss and its unnice cause sometimes converts to an irrelvant very uinnice word. i need to close dictionary in that app/keyboard i think.

 ok today lets try to cheer in less levels for that i am going to become a digital nomad for a while. maybe for half a year going to be a freelancer or remote worker. ok. today i would strictly study to BNF design task and would get back to have some focus. i lost focus whilst cheering  whilst learning about digital nomad life style that i would pursue for a while (maybe for half a year i would be a digital nomad i think)   lets try to cheer some less levels today.           ----------------------------------   ok lets start studying soon maybe in following 30 minutes.  yuppp. lets get back normal focus levels asap. and continue BNF task of the maths layer of this ai project.    thinking in isomorphisms i call this phase of this project or purpose of this maths layer.  to build thought capability based on isomorphism to math structures/conceptualizations in briefly.    to build a base maths grammar study current ...

 my close relative said we are both aspergers. but you have much more degree of autism/asperger. i acknowledged as it is like that. but life is very beautiful also with that.    i got used to stuff like sensory overload situation when happens and use more eye glasses since being looked at is triggering stress like that in my case. or even possibility of being looked at :D every autist's trigger of sensory overload is different, in my case, sometimes its sounds that are not usual, and usual case being looked at or possibility of being looked at.     nice add ons to my life: specifically as i can do any project i want like perks exists like trying to invent a new math grammar :P   and being able to really learn any topic i want. or things like before solving SAT 40 minutes 50 minutes ago:D or but i also very feel deficient in other  intellgnce related topics since my brain is not like neurotypical people. i am much more stupid in alot topics like so...

 i missed socialization alot so i want to go to that coliving place first but i think i need to first fix burping situation.  yayyy soon i would socialize and find lots of friends from digital nomads community which i also belong to.     i am very interested to yoga named stuff also. maybe helps my life. since lots of people does it, must be something good.     hmm so i think i would go there 1 week stay in a flat then awhile fix burping stomach topic and until its fixed stay there. then i would move to coliving space and attend coliving life experience for a while.    yayyy there are also excursions and lots of events also:)   anyway. i think  i missed socialization alot in my life. so i am surely going to coliving space after i fix my stomach illness.  also there is coworking space there of with cafe/tea.     other places i also wondered. its like there anothjer place says its you would meetup lots of geniuses also ...

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6 days left to an awesome life style for awhile🤩🥳

So life mood switches to coding ai on a beach with a sangria with morning yoga classes with my digital nomads community. Ok how else awesome my life could be I wonder. 🤩🥳

Life is awesome  I know you readers pitied sometime to me since I had ptsd but please now don't hate me since I would have awesome life for awhile🤩

Life is awesome truly:) Never to get sad alot due to phobias ptsd etc:)

Life is surprising. Sometimes it feels very hard(since I had agoraphobia that hadn't attended theraphy for, life felt very hard to me)  sometimes it feels very awesome (feels latter since I would be a digital nomad for awhile🤩) Beatles one sentence of life is what happens is very awesome, I mean surprising factor of life our own lives. I mean one day you feel lost inside agoraphobia due to trauma/ptsd that you hadbt attended theraphy and other day you find your self planning a life where you would attend yoga classes with sea view  wth dig. nomads community or hiking events or beach events or work in a coworking space that has also beach.  Life is awesome!🤩 Then would code ai with my sangria on a beach and also try to find freelancing jobs🤩😃🥳

Being cheerful alot feeling is the words I chose for my mood as for a while digital nomad life(for some while) style happens to start soon🤩

I ddnt liked one comment I newly seen in a song any. 😶 Ok then Let's be more careful in sharing songs that have comments and read comments before sharing. 😶

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Chapter of getting over agoraphobia starts yayyy😃

Coliving life style also felt interesting. There are yoga classes, events, active social life in such places of digital nomad life styles coliving places as I read where people chatter alot like in dinners/ breakfast etc. I think I might also try that life style for a while since I missed & I like socialization(like everyone else I guess:)). (I were agoraphobia that I hadn't attended theraphy for etc etc.)(this is why I hadnt socialized for a lot while)(I m not any asocial 😊) (only reason were agoraphobia to not socialize/set up friends) I missed having friends to chatter/attend socialization🙂

Hmm I missed socialization when I have had agoraphobia  also and would also socialize with nomadic community yayyy😃 I saw such community is people from various occupations alike chefs/nurses/digital marketers/teachers/programmers/digital project managers/photographers/blog writers/digital designers/entrepreneurs etc etc... I saw there are coworking spaces. Coliving spaces feels like that I m not alot used to that. I saw lots of events etc. Looks awesome! I wish to set up lots of friends in events of digital nomads community yayyy😃  Been friendless for a while due to having agoraphobia issue that I hadn't go to therapist for. & soon would socialize again yayyy😃 I missed socialization 😃 

I read /watch videos about digital nomad life style  and it's such an enthusiastic life version to me🤩. ( I would pursue such life style for a while)

Yayyy🙂  digital nomadic life period for a while starts soon😊

Here comes a song I like for weirdo lyrics and due to awesome sound of:   https://youtu.be/dHUHxTiPFUU

(I can't stop finding this current life period as very awesome of being bound to no city nor no workplace etc 🤩 euphoria or whichever such word suits I think I want to say for this instant change of life style to a life style I like of digital nomad life style for a while 🤩.)

(Ok lets shut down my over talking feature and not tell which Spain island I would be in😄)

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Ok I can't hide any thing. I were listening Spanish music cause I m in some island in Spain next month 🤩 at least, since has many islands so its still privacy having case

🤩 

I can't stop thinkingvthis is very severe levels of amazing life period of my life. I mean starting from recent weeks/ this month 

I can't stop finding the following months  of my life as very amazing 🤩

This period of my life is a life style I always dreamed to have. I mean having no bounds to a city for awhile 😄 feels like a digital nomad life style. Lets ensure I travel alot awhile in this period beside projects I mentioned. 

(  & missed the times when my best friend's friends were also metal music musicians. ) ( year 2006/2007s etc)

Ok since have no sleep I would continue bnf by then now since also burping even if less happens.  Meanwhile I listen music of place I would travel to right now🎼🎵😉 

I actually can check sun's place on hour early mornings for there cause I had such project where I did calculated sun's position and tried to simulate scattering of light. I could check luminosity and infer early morning sports conditions by then I guess ☺ (Scientist liking coder guh) 😁 (Or Guh the nerd) Of course I hadnt used n body problem first(were intending to add it in second iteration) . But went with Kepler model without solving n body problem. In first iteration of sun light scattering simulator stuff. So its a very crude simulator in that sense. But it can calculate the sun's position in sky for every lat long for world for any time as then. It's scattering had some issue to be fixed but weren't that much abnormal though were surely not werent working correct but not that much incorrect.  Ok thinking solving n body problem might be also crude way of simulating it. Anyway.