weird life

i wrrtn already my this year very happy year plans and dnt lke strng in public blog so is why deleted blog.

ok i forbid myself blogging for a long while. ok i see i am an autism spectrum person that also likes to brag about autism. i think lack of atrophy is really cool. but i would delete this blog since i bragged:P but its very cool!:P  (i definitely love being from autism spectrum) (but i wished i had autism aware parents. i were raised like a non autistic child. which gave me some things but also i wish for instance if i knew i would understand why i cant play basketball in highschoolor couldn't dance make dance movements even i remember stressing to why i cant dance good like friends in 5th year of my life i remember not being able to dance when our school teacher played music to birthday parties we 5/6 years old.. i remember some very early memories from my life like 1st year memories. or 2.d year.   )  (and now i understand why stuff that doesn't stress other people stuff that includes communication stresses me a lot) or when i had also problems in stress levels whe...

 ok today planned as, some readings beside cycling. that awesome philosophy language holding psychoanalysis text. usually psychoanalysis is not any area i am that much interested to, but the language and the references of consciousness and will topics made it quite interesting. philosophy, sociology and anthropology languages makes every text very interesting. when ever humanities people write some text, it is always kind of more fun than any paragraph you would ever read inside some studying learning. they made even learning about psychoanalysis a fun type of reading/study, which is not any topic that i were interested to.  i once got interested to consciousness theories and started with a book about that and actually both 2 books. one were about brain studies. one about more about the general consciousness concept. not the first one but the latter one's lack of interesting language in defining topics or lack of wide scope in its definitions talks made the topics studies halt...

many times been misundetstood by pple  i cnstntly add smtms blogs to not to be msndrstd now. 

not tht any resmbles(the thngs the stalk i cnfrnted are non relted to America i wsh it wre nvr misunderstood any like that)  i lke Jsn Bourne songs cause i like spy movies alot. 😎 (tgh i dnt like asssns cncpt any but like alot  spy(😎) cncpt) added this fr snce i wsh my blog isnt msndrstd any ever. 

 could not study last day on bitcoin project but tonight would study.  i couldn't study since i blogged my phantasms. on slanderers when they slandered me in cafes. if one had El like powers, how fun it would be to make them fly in cafe(without any hurting)  until they stop slandering and start telling the truths instead of lies/slander.   but its not ok to do such things.  and its just a phantasm. and no one has El like powers.  when confront injustice  like 5 years of being slandered,  i saw dreamt such phantasms yesterday.  in meanwhile, i think such flying topics with qm might be really feasible (but of course the above phantasm would never happen even with qm devices. cause only ok ways to make people tell truth is stuff like lie detection machines. i think when i sue my stalkers slanderers i would ask for lie detection machines to have them tell them truth. )     sothe below discussions is not related to the phantasm...

 ok today reserved for bitcoin project from now. i find that psychic tests topics alot interesting. i would investigate in my free times. these remote viewing like stuff. so that i could learn identities of stalkers/slanderers. so that i could init a law sue.    but if you any know whom they are, please tell me.  so that i could open init a law sue.   ---- ok tonights agenda starts with studying to bitcoin project. then after first 210k and after finishing my projects in current owkrplace after 210k i might leave worklife. then in that time i could check these psychic topics investigations to try to test such stuff. to do try remote detectiving like stuff to learn identities of the stalkers slanderers or also with hiring noinpsychic usual detectives also. both either would work to learn whom they are so that i could init open a law sue.  ok but i also need to check whether wining 210ks like that way is ok from a lwayer in information tech area. if its not o...

 ok lets read about Aristotle's force definition more later when work ends. read on morning. on these metaphysical domains.  maybe i give  break to work time with coffee and read 10 minutes reading. yupp. lets do it.  ok break is over. i never read Freud in this much detail and started to think i might also dislike Freud's studies some part. i only read Freud before very roughly and about scapegoats behaviors but now as reading about psychoanalysis in detail, i decided i mimght start reverting back talking too much of Freud since his thinking disciplines i might dislike. as i learn more about. i started to dislike Freud. as i read about psychoanalysis introduction. but nonetheless would read about this book. its not all about Freud, its also Schopenhauer, Leibniz and also Husserl, and i saw force systems is not having homomorphism to physics but more in eidetics and metaphysical domains. I came reupon the consciousness and will studies also which is happy. and also n...

 i tried to dye my hair's roots. then roots became unchanged and the colored haired more vibrant and light colored :D and that color of hair made me look older . did this on early morning:D it looks definitely worse than before:D (why -> :D???  because my goal and end result funnily diverged a lot:D it ddnt fit  :D  i ddnt intended this light color like this. and roots are also conrtrasting. it became a weird style. but ddnt fit. )  (ok it would resolve after some days i guess)  (ok i definitely like coloring my hair to weird colors. i wish to try light green some day) (or light violet).  (but would first try green) (since it looks weirder).  maybe mixture of them. why not. :D

i hate it when i forgot to take headphones than spundcloud plays unliked songs after an album i like to lisyen without me being aware. we should be able to have stop when album we play ends. yet again played songs i dnt any like after the album i like.  soundcloud: i like it alot but mandates constant headphones on. i dont want auto songs continuation and sometimes adds songs i wld never listen ever like happent on today. why its impossble to close autoplay😐 i wld never listen those songs it autpplayed. since i like spy movies i like listening jason bourne album alot since is a cool movie wth a very badass (actlly not a spy) chrcter (but read tht such stuffs are unreal and i ddnt lked tht part of stry line eithr of that movie(i mean assns parts). i read that such stuff were unreal and such stuff dnt exst in wrld from spys posts in quora.)  but songs it played afterwards i wld never listen. my headphone wrnt on nor phone ernt beside me otherwise i wld chsnge the songs asap. i ...

 ok resumed philosophy readings. and reading force named topics and its Heiddegeran analysis of Aristotle perspectives. Its very interesting, as i study thermodynamics and energy topics in quantum mechanics side in another project, this text also in metaphysical way tries to do a homorphic definition constructions on force but kind of desire like forces or goals like forces. very interesting systematic definition.  Dunamis and sterisis and energie and all, i would be happy to reflect this metaphysical world to its quantum mechanical version's basis of energy interworkings. Lets try to see how this text analysis these topics and whether if we could construct a homomorphism in between phycial and metaphysical definitions. just read only one paragraph right now. and were very excited since i saw yet again process constructions that looks very quite rational  and logical. yepp the book started with Aristotle's concepts on physics but on its Heideggeran aspects and its metaphy...

yayyy happily El shoutings didnt happent 2 days:D (cause it were very creepy).   i know it feels unbelivable. but really happent. and were very creepy and funny in the sense whom would ever come when some people shouts El come. whom would ever want to be a test subject in a lab. gosh. this were yet again severe creepy. happy that 2 days ddnt happent.  what kind of a weird life this is i dont know. but this topic above were both very creepy and both funny (that they expected people to come when they shout El come. whom would ever come when someone shouts El come.) (i mean whom would ever want to be a test subject of a lab) (gosh. severe creepy). sometimes i myself cangt bvelieve what kind of topics happens in my life. but really happent this shoutings. :D both creepy and both funny. i am still both laughing out and both creeping for this when this topic comes to my mind. the woman said ina  relaxing tone "Ok" after guy shouted "guher! El!". as if this is a topic to r...

----- some very stupid info below------ from personal life---------------- one stupid info to write so that it doesn't repeats since it felt very disturbing when this happens:  sometimes i observe people very older (not happent any recently but sometimes happens) than me try to date with me. its impossible. i only fall in love to people either my ages or atmost ~10 ages older than me.  but not more. (i don't like to date also people younger than me.). people i like to date is either my ages or atmost 10 years older than me.  of course this is different for everyone. some people like to date with very older people than themselves and find it more attractive. its personal domain. i heard that people with old dads fall in love to older guys. i am not like that. its different for everyone but i wanted to specify this so that this doesn't repeat.  but its also ok that other people fall in love to older people and find it more attractive. but i am not any like that.  ...

i tried esp cards and started wth retrorecgntn. were going abnormally good. then it went bad. did 8 over 25 in frst try. but first cards were going so ok. thrn after that that abnormal predction ended. first it went smoothly nearly all correct shocking me. then it started to get worse. i cldnt sleep last night and had headche issue so got leave in mid afternoon.  first corrrct guesses shocked me i said ehat the heck then predction capablty abrptly got lost. then in other modes like precogniyion i epicly fsiled since frst predctns were going bad i left in middle.  it felt as if i were to be predctng it got lost after some time. weird statistics science.  it were like near full prediction as started which shocked me then by 7 or such it syarted to get near to vry much failure predctions  i wondered this area again after this weird El! come! like shtngs hppnt.  not that i wld ever come if anybody shouts El come😜 (since whom ever wants to be a test subjet) what kin...

 some very weird stuff happent. sometimes at this home. some one shouted "guher. el. ". since i have kind of stalker issue that i dont even know my stalkers(i dont even know my stalkers), i dont interacted for risks. might be not from stalker. someone twice or three times recent months did this. shouted guher! el!  ok this is really weird. definitely creepy to me :D since i written those am i psychic experiences. since really weird things happent. like that Shieh incident.  but i wish i hadnt blogged for since: what if people who do those tests that we see in those movies are after me now beside having unknown stalkers  slanderers problems :D this looked severely creepy :D you know those type of stuff are i think creepy. i would forever not attend such test. since its very creepy. that kind of psychic ability tests. i ddnt any get. some one shouted guher! el! and some woman shouted ok!. ok this turned out little bit creepy :D i now regret having blogged those experie...